At a Distance
by dsfeo78
Summary: Maura seems to be avoiding Jane and her family but no one can figure out why. Can Jane step in and help a friend in need? *Update* Story will continue and focus in on the developing realtionship between Maura and Jane.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Don't own any of these great characters. Just taking my shot at the wheel. My first fanfic so a) be patient with me and b) any feedback would be great. I know where I want to take this story and I apologize if it takes just a bit to actually get there**.

Chapter 1

**Jane's POV**

Detective Jane Rizzoli slowly rolled over and began cursing the morning. Why was she already awake well before her alarm was set to go off. In fact, she was awake an hour before her alarm was set to go off. Apparently sleeping in won't be on today's agenda she thought. Slowly stretching, Jane contemplated what her options were.

I could roll back over and try to fall back asleep. But she almost immediately dismissed that as a possibility knowing how sleep usually eluded her. I could get up and make a substantial breakfast for once. That idea had promise. Or, she thought to herself, I could just get up and head into work. Maybe get a good work out in the gym before the day gets too out of hand. Somehow, she knew that was exactly what she would do as she rolled into a sitting position and decided to greet the world for the day.

A quick shower, a quick walk for Jo Friday and a quicker cup of instant coffee later had Jane out the door and heading towards BPD station. I haven't worked out at the station in several weeks, she thought. Long overdue for the treadmill and maybe even the heavy bag.

Jane arrived at BDP and worked her way towards her usual parking space. She was more than a little shocked to see the Prius for Dr. Maura Isles was already in what was deemed "the Doc's spot" in the garage. Jane smiled remembering the day that Maura was "granted" detective parking status in the parking garage.

_"Really?!" Maura had almost shouted._

_"Really. Don't look so surprised Maur- all the guys think you are the reason we close half the cases we close. It was their idea to initiate you as an honorary detective with this nice, dirty, grease stained parking spot." Jane was beaming ear to ear knowing that it wasn't the spot that mattered to Maura- it was the acceptance and acknowledgement from the rest of the homicide detectives. Jane could see Maura tearing up as she parked her Prius in HER spot._

Jane approached the car and placed her hand on the hood near the engine. A detective's habit mainly but she was surprised to feel the hood was ice cold. This car has been here for a while. Jane grow slightly concerned although she knew Maura to pull all-nighters before but Maura usually called or sent Jane a text during the night if she was stuck at work.

Jane made her way to the station and instead of heading straight to the gym for the workout she was wanting, she went straight to the elevators and pushed the down button. Let's see what Maura is working on, she thought. If I'm lucky maybe I can even talk her into working out with me, knowing just how much Maura enjoyed a good workout and the rush of endorphins. The elevator arrived and Jane hit the button for the morgue that she lost count as to how many times a day was pressed by either her or Detective Frost, or even Sergeant Detective Korsak even.

Jane got off the elevator and headed down towards the autopsy room first. The lights were out and Jane realized that most of the building was now on lighting controlled by motion detectors to help cut down on utilities during the slow stretches of the day. Clearly, the autopsy room hadn't seen much activity in a while as it was pitch black. So, to the office I will try next Jane thought. She navigated her way down another hallway shifting her workout bag from one shoulder to the other along the way.

Halfway down the hall Jane saw the light pouring out from under Maura's office door. Well, at least I have in fact found where she is- or was in the near recent past. She rounded the corner and noticed that the door was slightly ajar. No real need to knock if the door was kind of open anyway she thought. Her days of knocking before entering long since passed as it was.

She slowly pushed open the door, not trying to startle Maura on purpose, although that may be an added bonus for my morning Jane thought was a slightly wicked grin crossing her face. That grin turned quickly to a look of surprise and then a full blow smile was soon to follow. The image Jane was greeted to when she looked into Maura's office was truly priceless.

The elegant Dr. Isles was curled up on her couch- the WORLD'S MOST UNCOMFORTABLE COUCH as Jane liked to tease the good doctor- absolutely out like a light. How can anyone look that peaceful on that God awful couch? But Maura clearly was not having any issues with comfort. She seemed dead to the world. Jane looked around and noticed papers, several medical books and a pretty impressive collection of coffee cups scattered around the sleeping doctor. A folder was draped almost like a blanket over Maura's shoulder and arm.

Poor Maura thought Jane. She must have been exhausted to fall asleep at work. She slowly approached Maura and had to quickly stifle a laugh when she realized that Maura was so asleep she had a bit of drool off the corner of her mouth. Now, Jane had shared a bed with the Doctor on many occasions- always as friends- but she had never noticed Maura to drool before. Although, she thought, Maura always seemed to be awake before me in the morning so she probably could drool away and I'd never really know about it.

Jane knelt down towards the sleeping Doctor. She removed the folder from her and quietly nudged Maura to wake her up. She felt a little bad about disturbing Maura's sleep but felt Maura wouldn't want to be caught sleeping in her office by the rest of her medical staff. "Maura." Jane quietly called her name. "Maura...you need to wake up."

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, " was as close of a response as Jane got on the first attempt. Wow- she's really out Jane thought.

"Maura, time to wake up," she said a little louder. She didn't want to resort to shaking Maura awake, finding that to be the line in the "rude" sand she was going to try not to cross.

"What time is it?" slowly came across the lips of the Doctor.

"5:45."

"At night?" came from Maura whose eyes were finally starting to flutter a bit and Jane could see Maura was coming around.

"No, 5:45 in the morning sleepy head. You need to get up."

Maura's eyes finally opened all the way and she lifted her upper body up off the couch a bit resting most of her weight on her elbows. Looking around she slowly let her surroundings, Jane and the now streaking drool on her chin all come into focus. The back of Maura's hand instantly tried to rid herself of the drool although to her credit she didn't even attempt to hide it from Jane. Jane snickered and decided she must have missed many drool mornings by being the second one awake.

"Hi." That coming from Maura as she sat all the way up on the couch.

"Hey yourself."

"Why are you here at 5:45 am?" Maura looked at her friend with some curiosity.

"Why are YOU here, asleep on that awful thing you try to pass off as a couch, at 5:45 am Doc?"

"Clearly, I was working." She said it so matter-of-factly that even she laughed when she heard it.

"An all-nighter huh? What are you working on?"

Maura looked around at all the papers and books. Wow, I can really create a mess if I put some effort behind it, she thought. "I was trying to finish my paper on the impact of blunt force trauma to the occipital lobe for the Journal of American Forensics and Pathology."

"Clearly it's a page-turner," snickered Jane slightly under her breath.

"What? Oh...well I am trying to make it an engaging read but I'm struggling a little with the language." Maura now stood up and stretched a bit. "Thanks for waking me up, I'd hate to have had Sarah or Mike be the one that walked in on the boss sleeping."

"That's why I woke you. You were actually looking so peaceful I almost just shut the door."

"You never said why you were here so early, did you?"

"No, I never did. I was just awake and thought I'd sneak in a workout before the day got going. Saw your car and thought I'd try to take you as company but if you've been here all night, I'd rather you go home and go back to sleep," Jane said. She looked at Maura and for the first time really took in her current condition. Maura looked utterly exhausted and now Jane was feeling guilty for disturbing what was clearly needed sleep.

"I love a good workout in the morning, but I think I'll have to pass. I should finish this paper and then I have several charts to finish before the day gets going. I appreciate the offer, though." Maura smiled at Jane. "Maybe another time," she added.

Jane was fine with that although would have been happier if Maura had agreed to go home to sleep instead of just back to working. She turned to leave. Before exiting, she turned and looked again at Maura. Maura had an odd look on her face, a flash of something Jane couldn't place. As she was about to really assess her friend, the look faded and Maura again smiled at her. It was something, but Jane didn't know what. "Lunch later if you insist on staying?"

"Sure, just give me a chance to catch up."

Walking out, Jane's mind was still lingering on what the unexplained look had been. She got the impression that something was weighing on her friend, but maybe she was just being paranoid. She did just wake her up after all. The rest of the conversation had been fine. Maybe she was just imagining it. Jane chuckled to herself and decided there wasn't anything to it. Off to the treadmill headed the good detective with the apparent overactive imagination.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lunch didn't happen later in the day. Both Jane and Maura got wrapped up in their own cases and paperwork. Jane really didn't think too much about lunch, her earlier concern about Maura or Maura's late night at work. It wasn't completely unusual for both ladies to find themselves in the same building but with limited or no interaction with each other. It would always depend of what was going on for the day.

Jane, unable to break away from her desk, grabbed her phone to send a text to Maura.

_Sorry about lunch. Slammed. Robber later?_

Jane hit send on her phone, half expecting an instant response from Maura. None was coming across. She must still be in the lab thought Jane. No big deal. Jane was sure Maura would respond later. She put her phone done and went back to working on her reports.

About an hour later, Jane got a text answer.

_Can't. We can catch up some other time._

Jane was disappointed but understanding. Maura was busy. She'd have other chances to see her friend for lunch or a drink. She did find Maura's "some other time" comment a bit off their normal dialogue pattern. But, her friend was tired and clearly busy. Jane sent an "_OK_" to acknowledge the text and went to go find Frost to break down a suspect interview transcript.

Jane didn't see Maura for the remainder of the week. It was just one of those weeks for both ladies. There weren't any new homicides for them to be at a crime scene together. Jane and Frost were bogged down in reports and an Assistant District Attorney's witness prep for an upcoming trial. Jane assumed Maura was working other cases or grinding out that journal article she had been working on. Jane, needing a different set of walls to look at, offered to make a coffee run for Korsak and Frost.

Jane entered the Café downstairs and could hear her mother before she could see her.

"Ma- coffee times 3 please." Jane hollered out as Angela looked up to greet her daughter.

"Is that how I raised you to say Hello to your Mother?" Angela pushed although grinning.

"Sorry Ma. Hi. 3 coffees. Please." Jane said with a childish grin. She had at first been worried about her mother working at the police station. Her mother was not known for subtle, quiet nurturing. No, Angela was Hurricane Angela when it came to her children. But, despite her reluctance, Jane had grown accustomed to being able to drop in on her mother to say hi. She also knew that Angela felt better knowing any police scoop about either Frankie or her. Jane had a theory that Angela actually worried less than when she had spent time at home and had no idea what Jane- or Frankie- was getting into while at work. 

"Is one for Maura?"

"No, Frost, Korsak and me."

"Oh. OK. It's just that I know Maura likes the coffee with the special beans so I was going to make that for her if one of these was hers." Angela turned to start working on the coffees.

"You are going to spoil her worse than you do Frankie, Ma." Jane said chuckling.

"Hey, she's like a daughter to me so I look out for her."

"What about me? Don't I merit the "special" beans?" Jane suddenly found it a little ridiculous that she had actually made the quotation marks motion with her hands when she uttered the word special. Stop being childish Jane told herself.

"Don't be a baby Jane," scolded Angela. "I take care of you too. I know exactly how you take your coffee, and how Frost and Korsak take theirs too. So relax."

"Sorry Ma," was all Jane could manage.

"Where is Maura these days, anyway?" Angela asked.

Jane stopped for a second and looked at her. Even Ma hasn't seen her? It was one thing for Jane not to see Maura from time to time, but she was surprised that Angela hadn't seen her. After all, Angela lived in Maura's guesthouse and usually had coffee with her every morning. "Why? When did you see her last?"

Angela thought for a minute. She also saw a flash of concern on Jane's face. "Hmmm, probably not since last Saturday afternoon." Angela was again surprised at Jane's expression when hearing that she hadn't seen Maura in over a week.

"That was a week ago. I thought you two had coffee every morning."

"We usually do. But Maura's been up and out of the house before 6 am all week. I love coffee, but not enough to be up at 5 just to have some with her."

Jane started to absentmindedly twist on her hair. Think Jane, when did you last speak with Maura. Thinking back, the last conversation she had with Maura was when she found her sleeping on her couch at the beginning of the week. The rest of her communication with Maura had all been text messages or voicemails. Had it really been a week since anyone spoke-spoke to Maura? That can't be right.

"Something wrong?" asked Angela as she noticed Jane's distraction. "You two aren't fighting or anything again, are you?"

"No, Ma!" Jane didn't even like a reference to Maura and Jane's last fight. It took months for the two ladies to start speaking to each other again after the incident Jane now dubbed "Daddy Gone Bad" and had involved Jane having to perform MacGyver-like emergency surgery on Maura's leg. Jane shuttered a bit just thinking about that night in the woods.

"Then what?"

"I just realized it had been awhile since I spoke with her. I always assume she gets to talk to you every morning. But if you haven't seen her then I think I need to seek her out and see how she is. She's been very busy lately." Jane took the coffees from Angela intent on delivering to Frost and Korsak before heading down to find out if Maura was ok.

Jane delivered the coffee and told Korsak she needed to check something with Maura. Happy to have caffeine, Korsak just nodded and Jane headed down to the morgue. It's not like Maura to go a week without reaching out to me, or Ma for that matter, Jane fretted.

Jane worried about Maura's social interactions with people. Maura was Jane's best friend and they had a very special relationship. But Maura around other people was sometimes an adventure. Maura's genius- or Goggle-mouth as Jane liked to call it- rubbed some people the wrong way and Maura didn't always have successful people interactions. Some people just didn't know how to look past Maura's quirks to see the amazing person she truly was. Jane had taken on the challenge of re-socializing Maura over the years. She felt very responsible for that part of Maura's life.

Jane stepped off the elevator and headed towards Maura's office. Maura, however, wasn't there. Jane started to look around but didn't immediately see her. One of the lab techs looked up and smiled at Jane. "Do you need something, Detective?"

"Have you seen Dr. Isles?" she asked.

"Dr. Isles left for the day. Can I help you with something?"

Jane looked down at her watch. It was only 2:30 pm and Maura was gone? Then she immediately felt guilty. Maura doesn't report to her and if she wanted to leave at 2:30 she had every right to. Jane knew how busy Maura had been and finally was happy that she had gone home to relax. "No, I will catch up to Dr. Isles later. Thank you." Jane turned and left while at the same time pulling her phone off her hip. She highlighted Maura's name and hit send on the phone.

The call went straight to voicemail. Not even a ring so Maura had turned off her phone. Jane patiently waited for the beep noise intending on leaving a message.

"Hey Maura. Haven't seen you in a week and you are gone for today already. Call me." Jane hit end on her phone. She couldn't shake the growing feeling that there was something going on with Maura and she was starting to get worried.

About 2 hours later, Jane's phone vibrated a message alert. Jane pulled her phone out and read the text.

_Stop worrying. Monumentally busy. I'll see you for Sunday dinner. _

Rizzoli family dinner night was always on Sunday. Jane felt immediately better about Maura, knowing she would see her there. Short of storming over to her place, which Jane decided would be a huge over-reaction, dinner would have to do.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jane only had 1 day to get through before it was Sunday. But, pacing around in her apartment on Saturday Jane finally decided that she couldn't wait until Sunday to see Maura. Something was off with her friend and she needed to find out what it was. As Jane analyzed all of the activities from the week, she kept coming to the strange conclusion that Maura was avoiding her. The pieces all seemed to add up to that.

Maura was skipping Angela's morning coffee routine and was out of the house before 6 am. Maura never seemed to be in the office when Jane wandered down to get a report or a file. Twice Maura sent reports up with a lab tech when she normally brought them herself. Calls went to voicemail and Maura had been sleeping at the station. Ok, the last one was a stretch as Jane only knew of that one time but still. Keys in hand, Jane headed out to Maura's. Time to figure out what was going on.

Jane pulled up to Maura's and was immediately disappointed. Maura's Prius was not to be found. Where is she? Jane parked, got out of the car and went to see her mother.

Angela answered the door and was clearly happy Jane had stopped by. "It's not dinner until tomorrow. To what do I owe this visit?"

"Hey Ma. Any idea where Maura is?"

"No. I'm her house guest, not her keeper."

"No idea at all?"

Now Angela was getting nervous. "No…..why? What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I don't know. Something." Jane said in frustration. Angela waited for a better explanation from Jane. "I have a bad feeling something is wrong with Maura. I haven't seen her in over a week and I keep thinking she is avoiding me. I'm starting to worry that I did something wrong," Jane dropped her eyes at that last admission.

"Has she called you are all?"

"No but she keeps sending text messages."

"Do those sound like she is mad at you?"

"No. The texts make everything seem ok."

"Jane Rizzoli…."

"What?!" Jane hated it when her mother called her by her full name. At least this time she was spared the use of her middle name.

"Maura is an independent woman. She has a life outside of you, and me. You sound like you are a little jealous."

"Jealous? No. Although I do miss talking with her. I'm just worried. But I guess I'll see her tomorrow at dinner," Jane said slightly pouting.

"Come over early and give me a hand with dinner. That way you can maximize your time with your best friend whom you obviously miss, " Angela said with a smile.

"Sure Ma. I'll do just that."

Sunday came and Jane found herself staring at the clock. Why was she so unsettled? She packed up Jo Friday and headed over to Maura's. Jo loved playing with Maura's tortoise Bass and Jane sometimes felt like she had instituted a play date for her dog. When she gets to Maura's Jo jumps out of her arms and runs off to find Bass. Jane briefly wonders what Bass thinks of Jo and then laughs at herself for trying to analyze a dog and a turtle. Oh wait, a tortoise she corrected herself.

Jane called out for Maura and didn't get a response. She then called out for her mother. No answer either. Was she super early? She walked out the side door and over to the guesthouse. She let herself in hollering for her mother as she entered. She looked around and saw Angela was doing all the dinner cooking in the guesthouse instead of at the main house.

"She got called into work Jane."

Jane turned to find her mother. "Work?" Jane was clearly disappointed.

"Yes. She stopped by this morning and said that she had to go in for a while but I could use her kitchen to cook dinner. I was going to but decided to contain the clutter to the guesthouse instead. She said she should be home before the food gets served though."

Angela didn't miss the obvious look of disappointment on Jane's face. "Did she sound ok?" Jane asked.

"Yes Jane, I swear. She was just fine this morning. Said she wouldn't be long and expected to still eat with us."

"Fine," pouted Jane. Crossing her arms Jane looked around and finally asked her mother what she could do to help.

"Stir the sauce for me please." Jane wandered into the kitchen to man the spoon.

Within the hour, Frankie and Tommy made their way to the guesthouse.

"Why are we here and not at Maura's?" asked Tommy.

"She's working but should be joining us soon. I didn't want to mess up her house with our dinner. So we eat here, OK?"

"Sure thing Ma. Hey Janie- the Sox game is about to start, let's go."

Jane had forgotten about the game. Frankie, Tommy and Jane all plopped down on the couch and quickly got lost in the game.

"No, no. I don't need help or anything. Watch the game…." Angela muttered to herself.

Finally, dinner was served. But it was served without Maura. Angela watched all through dinner as Jane's attention went from half listening to half staring at the empty chair and place setting where Maura would have been if she had come over. Jane was growing more and more concerned and now Angela was starting to wonder too. Maura had seemed fine this morning. But she didn't make it before the start of dinner and Jane couldn't get through to Maura's cell phone. Just voicemail again. Maybe something was wrong.

About halfway through dinner Jane finally heard Maura's car pull into the driveway. Finally, thought Jane. She assumed Maura would come right over and Jane stared at the door for several minutes. But again, no Maura. Jane was now at a loss. She just wasn't coming over. Apparently Jane was in the dog house for something. What on Earth did I do?

After about 30 minutes, Jane got up and went into the kitchen. She grabbed an empty plate and proceeded to fix dinner for Maura. She was going to figure all of this out but decided not to go over empty handed. "I'll be right back Ma," Jane said as she carried the food over to Maura's.

She entered the house and was almost mauled by Jo Friday. "Smelled the food, huh?" Jane said to her dog. "Sorry my friend. This isn't for dogs."

She put down the food and looked around for Maura. Not finding her, she headed up towards the bedroom figuring Maura was in the shower. She got the bedroom and instead of hearing a shower going Jane heard the sound of a very asleep Maura. Jane was familiar with the deep, even breaths Maura took when she was sleeping. She peered into the bedroom and Maura was laying diagonally across the bed, still in her clothes, half off the side of the bed and asleep.

Jane was taken aback by how exhausted Maura looked. Her breathing suggested a deep sleep and past experiences, Maura could sleep through a bomb, lead Jane to feel confident she could re-adjust the sleeping doctor on the bed without waking her. Maura's legs were hanging off the side so Jane gently swung them onto the bed and covered her friend with a blanket. She stepped back and looked down at Maura.

"What is going on with you, Maura?" Jane whispered. Clearly she was exhausted but Jane also noted that as she slept she looked really, really sad. "What is it?" Jane stood up, leaned over and kissed Maura's forehead and walked out letting her friend continue with the sleep she needed.

As Jane walked downstairs, she almost tripped over Bass. Looking down, she lowered herself to the floor and stared at the tortoise. She sighed. "Bass, something's up with your Mom. I've given her a week to come talk to me about it but clearly that strategy isn't working." Jane started to stroke the tortoise's shell. "Time for Plan B. Your Mom is going to have to deal with me. Tomorrow."

Jane collected Jo Friday and headed back over to the guesthouse.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thanks for the reviews! Greatly appreciated. Forgive me for drawing this out, but I don't like an instant answer/solution as I don't think it works that way in life. I promise I'll get to the heart of the issue soon. And I should be able to do frequent updates so if won't be forever before it comes to a head.**

Chapter 4

Maura woke up with a start. She looked around the room to try and settle the disoriented feeling and as the features of the room came into view she realized she was in fact home and in her room. She sighed and started to rub the heels of her palms into her eyes. She looked down and was surprised she was still in her clothes from yesterday_. Nice Maura_, she thought. _Can't even change out of your clothes_.

She slowly stretched her upper back and arms and looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 4:35 am. She took in a deep breath and tried to focus on the events of the night before. She got called into the lab at the last minute to re-work a series of test that had given inconclusive results. She thought she would have had time to re-do the tests and still make it back for dinner with Jane and the rest of the Rizzoli clan. Jane. _I missed dinner with Jane._

Maura groaned at this thought. Jane was going to be mad at her about last night. Maura thought through the events again and tried to pinpoint where it had gone wrong. Playing it back, her big mistake was laying down on the bed before taking the shower she had intended on grabbing. She was going for a quick shower before trying to join the Rizzolis for dessert. She never made it passed the bed.

Maura stood up and made her way to the bathroom. She started the water for the shower. She knew she had time for a yoga workout this morning if she wanted one but she wasn't so sure that was going to be in the cards. She let the warm water wash gently over her shoulders hoping it would push some of the tension out of her shoulders.

_Jane's going to be gunning for me, _thought Maura. She inhaled deeply at the thought of this and started to feel the makings of a headache coming on. She hadn't intended on missing dinner last night, just like she hadn't intended on falling into a pattern of avoidance with Jane that she now found herself. She cursed herself for being too weak to just talk to Jane about everything. She knew she was making things unnecessarily hard but just couldn't find the strength to talk to Jane.

She got dressed to head downstairs. She had fallen into a new routine for the morning during the last week. Up early and out the door before Angela could come over for coffee. She missed her contact with Angela. She missed their conversations. Angela had taken Maura into her family and the time Maura spent with her was precious. But Maura found it harder and harder to be around Angela. She was afraid her discomfort and unease was becoming noticeable and she wasn't in a position to explain. So, avoiding Angela became the better option.

As she made her way downstairs, Maura thought about the last week without Jane or her family. It had been a lonely, quiet week. Maura had to admit to herself she had come to rely upon the interactions with Jane and her family more than she realized. Their absence, even for only a week, hurt her in a way she wasn't expecting. What was she going to do?

She was desperately trying to work through everything and make sense of her emotions. Sometimes emotions were just foreign to her. She had been just fine a week ago but after an unexpected visitor Maura's world had been completely turned upside down. She didn't have a handle on all of it yet and just didn't have the resolve or the strength to pull Jane into any of it.

Maura entered the kitchen walking but lost in her thoughts. There was a small part of her that expected to find Jane standing in her kitchen. However, the rest of Maura was startled and almost screamed.

"Jane!" gasped Maura.

Sure enough, there was Jane. The tall brunette was leaning against the counter over by the sink, arms crossed and tightly pulled across her chest. There was a small smirk on her face- a reaction to scaring Maura. What struck Maura about Jane's appearance was that she was fully dressed, ready for work. She wasn't asleep on the couch or in pajamas. She was wide awake and clearly waiting for Maura to walk into her kitchen.

"Good morning. Sorry if I startled you," Jane stated. She was looking at Maura and trying to assess her friend. She was convinced something was wrong but had no idea where to start so she was looking for a clue.

"That's quite alright. Did you stay here last night?" Maura walked the rest of the way into the kitchen and walked over the coffee machine. Jane had already brewed the coffee so she just grabbed a cup and started to pour.

"No, I went home last night after dinner."

"Jane…." Maura took a sip of coffee. "I'm sorry about missing dinner last night. The tests I needed to re-run took twice as long as I thought. When I got back I expected to find you guys here and I thought I'd at least make dessert but you were over at the guesthouse. I was just going to grab a quick shower and head over and apparently didn't make it passed my bed."

Jane observed her friend as she spoke. There was such sincerity in her voice as she spoke. Also, Jane knew that one of Maura's most endearing qualities was her inability to lie without suffering from immediate and obvious physical reactions. There was no reason to doubt her about what had happened last night.

"That's ok Maura. I found you asleep last night. You were completely out. I can't say I've ever seen you fall asleep in your clothes at home before."

"I can't say that it happens often," she answered. She maneuvered around the kitchen and looked into the refrigerator for some yogurt. "You do realize that it's 5:35 in the morning, right?"

"I know what time it is. I've been here since 4 am," Jane stated matter-of-factly.

"Jane, why on Earth are you here this early?" Maura knew what answer she was going to hear, but she felt the need to ask anyway.

"I'm here to check in on you. Maura, is everything ok?" The amount of care and concern Jane placed into that question caused a lump to form in Maura's throat.

"Why are you asking? I don't need any checking up on, Jane. I certainly don't need you losing sleep on my account."

It did not go unnoticed that Maura hadn't answered the question. Maura couldn't lie but Jane knew she was a master at diverting from a question. Hell, she was almost as good at that as Jane was. Jane tried again.

"Maura, I haven't seen you in a week. I haven't talked to you in a week. I've only managed to trade text messages and voicemails with you for a week. I'm sorry, but I'm starting to believe you are trying to avoid me. Have I done something to upset you?"

"No!" and although it was an instant answer, it was absolutely the truth. The conviction behind Maura's emphatic answer could not be denied. That, in and of itself, made Jane breathe a sigh of relief. "Jane, you have not upset me at all," Maura added to finish her thought.

"Ok, then where have you been all week? Did I miss the memo that you entered a witness relocation program or something?"

Maura laughed at Jane's sarcasm. "No relocation here. I'm sorry I wasn't around much last week. It was just a long, long week. I was swamped with reports, there were about 18 different emergency lab orders and I had 3 different articles due for peer review. Haven't you ever had a week that just got away from you?"

As Maura asked the question, Jane realized that it had happened to her a few times in the past. Maybe she was being silly. Maybe Jane was just reading things that just weren't there. Maybe it really was just a case of Maura being busy and nothing more.

"I've had a few lost weeks before. I guess I just got worried there was something wrong. You're sure everything is alight?"

Maura hesitated for just a moment. Had it been anyone else Jane would have missed the hesitation altogether. But, just as she was about to chalk up her concerns to nothing, Maura hesitated to answer a simple question. There was that same flash of sadness and look like the world was overwhelming her that Jane had seen last week when they were in Maura's office. Jane watched closely and as quickly as the flash of sadness came it went.

"Maura?" Jane slowly took a step closer towards her friend. "What is it?"

Maura looked away from Jane unwilling to make eye contact. She started to say something and stopped. She couldn't lie and especially not to Jane. But the truth was not something she was prepared to discuss. She took a step back from Jane. "Jane, I'm sorry. I just can't." And with that, Maura walked out of the house before Jane could make another move.

_What was that? _Jane stared at the now closing front door in disbelief.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Maura pulled into the parking garage and parked her car. Tears had slowly fallen down her cheeks for the entire ride into work. She tried to draw in a deep breath to steady herself but even that hurt. She closed her eyes tight trying to will the tears to stop flowing. She needed to stop crying before she walked through the station's doors.

She thought about what she had just done. It was completely unfair to Jane to have just walked, or almost sprinted, out without even trying to give an explanation. She knew Jane just cared about her and was worried. Maura had been trying to avoid involving or burdening Jane with her issues and had just failed miserably.

_Great! Another thing at which I am a complete failure. I don't even know how to be a friend._

Pulling herself together she walked into the station and headed down to her office. If she was right, Jane wasn't more than 10 minutes behind her and Maura highly doubted that Jane would leave the issue alone. Maura entered her office and went to her desk. She removed an envelope from the top drawer and rubbed her thumb across the top.

_Not what I intended with this but there's just nothing I can do about it for the moment_.

Maura pulled out a sheet of paper and started writing a quick note. She finished the note and folded it in half. She opened the envelope and added the just written note to the contents. Closing the envelope, she scribbled Jane's name on the outside. She then grabbed three files from her desk and headed out of the office.

She rode up the elevator to Homicide. Stepping off the elevator she made a bee-line for Jane's desk. Once at Jane's desk, she dropped off the envelope placing it to the left of her desk phone. She took the three files and placed them on Korsak's desk. She turned again to Jane's desk and sighed. Not wanting to start crying again, she stepped back and walked quickly out to the elevators.

The elevator opened and Maura was immediately concerned that she would find herself face to face with Jane again. She heard movement and just thought please, please anyone but Jane. She looked up and relaxed a bit seeing that it was Frost and not Jane. Frost stepped off the elevator and started to say something to Maura.

"Good morning, Doc" was all he got out before Maura walked past him into the elevator avoiding eye contact the entire time.

"Detective," was mumbled by Maura.

Frost was about to say something else but first he saw the look on Maura's face and then the elevator door closed as quickly as it had opened.

"I wonder what's going on there," Frost said to no one. He'd have to ask Jane.

Maura made one more stop inside the station and after making the necessary arrangements she retreated back to her car. Once inside her car, the tears started to flow again. _Damn it! _She wanted to really, really cry but needed to drive off before Jane showed up so she put the car in gear and retreated.

To her credit, Jane only missed Maura by seconds. She entered the parking ramp and felt a knot in the pit of her stomach when Maura's car wasn't there. Jane parked her car, got out and pulled out her cell phone. Dialing Maura's number it rang but she got no answer.

"Maura…come on. Please talk to me! I just want to know you are ok. Where are you?"

Jane walked quickly into the station and headed for Maura's office. It was empty and she knew it would be but she had to try anyway. She glanced at the items on Maura's desk looking for any kind of explanation but she didn't find one. Frustrated, Jane headed back to the elevators.

She walked into the Homicide division and found Frost sitting at his desk. She opened her mouth to say something but Frost beat her to the punch.

"What wrong with Maura?" he asked.

"What? You saw her?" Jane spit out.

"Yeah, she was just here and she looked like she had been crying. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she barely looked at me and then the elevator door closed. Is she ok?"

"I wish I knew," was all Jane could manage to say. She sat down at her desk and immediately saw the envelope Maura had placed on her desk. The knot in the pit of her stomach returned with a vengeance. She had a very bad feeling about what was inside that envelope.

She slowly opened the envelope and was surprised at the contents. There was a handwritten note and a set of Red Sox tickets with another note attached. Looking at the Sox tickets she pulled off the first note and read:

_For you, Frankie and Tommy. I wanted something special that you could do as a family. I hope you enjoy the game._

Jane, more confused than ever, looked at the tickets again. Red Sox v Yankees. For tonight. AND amazing seats behind home plate as well. If Jane hadn't been absolutely panicked about Maura she would have broken out into a happy dance at receiving these tickets.

She placed the tickets down on her desk and pulled out the other handwritten note. She took in a deep breath as she started to read this one.

_Jane_

_Please forgive me for running out on you this morning. I never wanted to upset you and ended doing just that. I can't talk about it yet, please understand that. It's not you so just get that thought out of your head right now. I'm going away for a week- please don't try to track me down. I'm just so lost right now I need a chance to find myself again and I need to do that alone. _

_M_

_PS- Please enjoy the game. I was going to give you these tickets last week until- well that's not important. Promise me you will take your brothers to the game. Family matters more than anything in this world Jane. Embrace the family you have and don't waste a minute of the time you could spend together. _

Hundreds of questions poured through Jane's mind. A week? Lost? Family? None of the dots connected in a way that made any sense, even after Jane re-read the note five more times.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- OK, you have all been very patient with me as I have withheld what's going on with Maura. So here is the start of the explanation. I'll update with more chapters soon- tomorrow at the latest but as you all have been so kind in liking what I'm doing I didn't want to leave you clueless any longer. **

Chapter 6

Maura stared distantly out of the window of the cab. Normally, she loved to take in the sights of the city that was passing her by with child-like enthusiasm. However, she was burdened with a heavy heart and so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize that the cab had stopped at her destination. The cabbie cleared his throat loudly when it was apparent that his passenger was not making a move to collect her belongings.

Maura looked up finally and asked how much she owed. She absentmindedly handed money to the cabbie and mumbled to keep the change. About to open the door to get out of the cab, she was beaten to it by the doorman. Looking into the cab, he was pleasantly surprised to see the occupant.

"Good evening Dr. Isles," he said offering his hand to help her out of the cab. "It's great to see you again."

"Hello Jeffrey," she said, feigning a smile but with a lifeless tone to her voice.

"I was surprised when I got the notice that we were preparing the suite for your arrival. We usually don't see you until the fall."

She didn't engage in any banter with the doorman, which he found odd. Normally Dr. Isles spent several minutes catching up with him and inquiring about his family. But tonight, she was lost in her own thoughts and seemed barely aware of the activities around her.

"The suite has been fully prepared and is ready for you, Doctor," he tried again.

"Thank you Jeffrey. Will you see that my bags are sent up?" And without waiting for a response, she walked away and headed into the building.

"Yes Ma'am," he said to the back of her head. "Welcome back to New York."

Maura made her way up to the penthouse suite. She hadn't been here in almost a year and she wished her return was under better circumstances. She did love this city. But she wasn't here for the city she was here hiding out. _Am I hiding out _she thought to herself. _Yes_ came the only answer.

Maura threw her jacket against the back of a couch. She walked through the suite and opened the French doors leading to the terrace. Looking out, it was a breath-taking view of the city. Overlooking Central Park there was a collection of buildings and treetops that helped paint a magical picture of what might be just below or just past the view. Even in her current state, this view still made her feel just a little more settled. A knock at the door called back her drifting mind.

She answered the door and directed the bellman to place her bags in the master bedroom. She tipped the bellman and locked the door as he left. She then moved towards the kitchen and found the refrigerator and cupboards had been fully stocked with her favorite beverages and food. She scanned the contents but wasn't hungry. She did select a bottle of wine, a 2007 Sassicaia, and opened it up to let it breathe. After pouring a glass, Maura went back out onto the terrace.

As she sat on the terrace, her mind wandered through the events of the last week and a half.

_Maura had just returned home from work and was about to start dinner when there was a knock on her door. She was taken completely by surprise to find her father standing in her doorway. He never went anywhere unannounced and Maura was immediately concerned on what had brought him to her house. _

"_Dad!? What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Mother?" Maura had asked in a panic._

"_May I come in?" he asked in a flat, cold tone that sent a chill through Maura. Her Father wasn't the most affectionate man but he wasn't usually cold either. Something was clearly wrong._

"_Yes, of course. Come in," she said and stepped aside to allow his entry into the house. "I'm sorry you just caught me by surprise. I wasn't expecting you."_

_He walked past Maura without so much as a kiss on the cheek. There was something dark about the look on his face. There was anger burning behind his eyes. An anger Maura had never seen before. _

_Taking in his demeanor fully Maura again had a chill run through her body. "Has something happened to Mother? Has there been a setback in her recovery?" Maura was desperately trying to figure out what was wrong. Her mother was still going through rehab from her injuries from the hit and run but Maura had just spoken with her and all signs appeared to show a successful recovery path._

"_Your Mother's recovery is progressing just fine Maura," there was implicit anger behind his use of her name. It made Maura do a double take._

"_Then why are you here?"_

"_I came here to speak with you. Your Mother doesn't know I'm here and I expect you not to mention this conversation to anyone after I have said my peace."_

_Maura only nodded a confused acknowledgement. _

"_Maura," he stared at her, or more accurately through her, "I'm here to tell you that I want you to stay away from your Mother. And me."_

_In a million years Maura hadn't expected that sentence to come out of her father's mouth. She felt herself loose her bearings as she tried to replay what he had just said. Maybe she misunderstood what he was saying. She started to focus in on her father's mouth waiting for his lips to move again as if watching him form the words would help with her understanding of the meaning behind them. "What?" she asked barely above a whisper._

"_I said I want you to stay away from your Mother and me. I don't want you calling us, visiting us or trying to be a part of our lives ever again." _

_He said it again. She had heard him the first time but the totality of his statement just hung there. Maura could not fully comprehend the situation. She felt her blood pressure rise and she started to feel weak in the knees. Her respiration rate was increasing and she was vaguely aware of convincing herself to seat down before she passed out. She reached out for the arm of the couch and grabbed onto it with desperation._

"_Where…why…..where is this coming from?"_

"_Where is this coming from?! It comes from my sheer disappointment in how your life has turned out. It comes from my disgust at not only who your biological father truly is but also from having to live with that little detail being splashed over every newspaper and tabloid completely embarrassing your Mother and I. It comes from knowing that the monster that was responsible for creating you is a cold blooded killer and he has killed for you. It comes from watching your Mother suffer through pain and injuries that only came to her because of you. It comes from knowing I almost lost my wife because someone was trying to harm you and she paid the price for it. It comes from never, ever wanting to have you in a position to bring pain or shame upon my family ever again. That's where this is coming from."_

_He hadn't yelled but his tone was what broke something inside Maura. His voice was dead. He wasn't here to discuss his concerns. He wasn't here to rationally talk about things and listen to her side of everything. He had already dismissed her. She looked again into his eyes and knew in an instant that she wasn't his daughter anymore._

"_Da..." she started but he held up his hand._

"_Save it Maura. I'm not discussing this further. You have a life here and have chosen the path that lead you to this point. We are done. I have my lawyer working on the settlement of your trust and you won't want for money for the future but we are through. I can't have your life and your past endanger your mother's future. You will end all communication with us. I'm a making myself clear?"_

_Maura couldn't respond. She was going numb. None of this made any sense. There was no warning. No clue as to this eruption of anger from her father. Her breathing again became erratic and she sank further into the cushions of the couch. It was the only thing holding her up at that moment._

"_Don't call your Mother. I'll handle that conversation. My lawyers will contact you when the necessary documents are ready." He stepped towards the door and turned to look at her one last time. "Goodbye Maura." He left as quietly as he had arrived._

_Maura let the meaning behind her father's words sunk in and she stopped fighting the tears. She was all alone._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Jane sat staring at the note Maura had left for most of the morning. When she wasn't re-reading the note, she was looking at the baseball tickets. As hard as she tried she could not figure out what any of it meant. Nothing in the note from Maura seemed to explain why she was pushing Jane away. There seemed to be no explanation for what just caused Maura to run away.

"Think Jane!" she demanded to herself. "There are clues here. Take a step back and try to see the big picture."

Jane thought back to the last time she knew Maura was fine. Dinner, ten days ago. There was good conversation and no indication that anything was wrong. So, ten days ago things were good. That's a start anyway. Glancing back down at the note more of the time frame came into focus.

_I was going to give you these tickets last week until- well that's not important._

Something happened last week that kept Maura from giving Jane the tickets. Last week was when Jane started to worry that Maura was avoiding her. When, though? Monday night was when she found Maura asleep in her office. That was the first time Jane had any concerns about Maura. So, something happened over the previous weekend as best as Jane could pinpoint. But what?

_Family matters more than anything in this world Jane. Embrace the family you have and don't waste a minute of the time you could spend together. _

Family. Jane leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and let out a deep, heavy sigh. The notion of family being at the heart of what was wrong with Maura wouldn't surprise Jane at all. Family for Maura had gotten complicated lately. But if family was the source of Maura's problems, sadly there were several options from which to choose.

There was the shooting, jailing and upcoming trial of her biological father who just happened to be a Mob boss. There was the identification of her biological mother and half-sister only to have both of them reject not only Maura but her kidney as well. There was even the injuries and recovery of Constance, Maura's adoptive mother, from a hit and run accident.

Yes, there were plenty of options about family. But, Jane now rubbed her temples trying to fight off a headache, Maura had talked to Jane about all of these issues. Multiple times and in great detail. As traumatic those incident had been for Maura, Jane was not aware of anything new that would have caused Maura to run. There had to be something Jane was missing.

Jane had checked with Cavanaugh and found out that Maura had requested an emergency week of vacation. Her cases were assigned to another medical examiner but Cavanaugh hadn't kicked up too much fuss since Maura had updated every case file before leaving. Her note stated she was going away for a week and not to try to find her. But how could Jane sit back and let Maura be alone when there was something wrong?

She leaned forward in her chair and touched the Red Sox tickets again. She was convinced that the tickets and the note attached had been obtained and written well before Maura got upset. But Maura made it a point to give the tickets to Jane.

_Promise me you will take your brothers to the game._

Why, in the middle of whatever it was that Maura was going through would she give the tickets to Jane and also ask Jane to promise to still go? How on Earth could Jane enjoy a baseball game while all of this was happening? But, Jane had never denied Maura anything and she was asking her to still go to this game.

Grabbing her phone, Jane scrolled through her contact list and highlighted the name she was looking for. Her thumb moved across the phone and she hit send. She waited for the recipient to answer.

"Hey Jane, what's up?"

"Hey Tommy. What were you doing tonight?"

It had taken no time at all to get both Frankie and Tommy to agree to the baseball game. Both brothers had even professed undying love and devotion to their sister for the chance to see Sox and Yankees. Jane, however, had a hard time sharing their excitement. She was too worried about Maura to fully appreciate the chance to watch the game. Jane opted not to discuss Maura or her concerns with her brothers. She felt she owed it to Maura to keep everything quiet for the time being.

Before the start of the game, Jane tried to eliminate some of the family possibilities. She pulled the case status and jail reports on Patrick Doyle. A review of all the records showed no significant change in the status of Doyle's murder trial. Nothing indicated that there were any new developments. Jane even reviewed the visitor logs to see if Maura had any contact with Doyle but there weren't any messages or visits. So, short of one of Doyle's goons making a move on Maura, Jane was willing to rule out Doyle as the direct source of the family stress.

That left Maura's mothers. Jane was pressed to find a way to check into contact or issues with Hope or Caitlyn without directly speaking to both of them. It wasn't an option that Jane had completely ruled out but for the moment she was hesitant to walk that path. She could, however, attempt to reach out to Constance to test that possibility.

Jane got up from her desk and walked to the elevators. She got in and hit the button. As she got off the elevator she headed over to the Café to speak with her mother. Jane approached the counter and waited as Angela was finishing with a pair of vice detectives.

"Hi Janie. Are you in need of coffee?"

"No, Ma. I'm in need of a phone number. And I think you may have it."

Curious, Angela looked at Jane, "Whose number that I have would you need?"

"Constance."

Angela did a double take at that. She wasn't sure why Jane needed that number and she really wasn't sure why Jane was asking her and not Maura. "What's going on?"

"I just need Constance's phone number Ma. Do you have it?"

"Why aren't you asking Maura for the number?"

"Ma! It's a simple question. Either you have her number or you don't. I don't have time to play 20 questions with you right now." Jane immediately felt bad about the tone she had just used. She softened her tone looked up at her mother. "Sorry! I didn't mean to be snippy. Ma, please, do you have the number?"

Angela nodded. The look on Jane's face was one of pure frustration and not with Angela. Angela pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through her call list. Finding what Jane wanted she handed the phone over and watched Jane key in the numbers.

"Thanks," Jane said as she handed Angela back her phone.

"Is everything alright with Maura?"

Jane, not too surprised at Angela's perception of the situation, sighed and gave the only answer she had.

"No Ma. Maura's not alright." She hit send on her phone and walked out of the Café leaving Angela to worry for both girls.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Jane was silent during the entire cab ride to Fenway. Both Frankie and Tommy noticed the distant, worried look etched in the eyes of their sister. Neither, however, could bring themselves to ask Jane what was going on. Both brothers knew to tread lightly when Jane was this quiet. They knew she couldn't and wouldn't be pushed. She would talk when she was ready.

When the cab got to the ballpark and the Rizzoli clan got out, Jane attempted to shake off her mood. She hadn't reached Constance when she phoned earlier so she felt somewhat in limbo. She left a message for Constance to return her call. Hopefully that would happen soon. Jane stared down at her hands and at the cell phone she was holding as if willing it to ring. But, it was quiet for the moment.

"Come on guys, let's get to our seats," Jane offered up. Frankie and Tommy both nodded and followed. _Come on Maura, why am I at this baseball game instead of with you?_ Jane still didn't understand Maura's need to make Jane come to this game.

They found their seats and Jane had to smile in spite of herself. The seats were excellent. 5 rows up and directly behind home plate. Jane had never in her life had seats in Fenway this good. Jane always thought you had to have been on the Mayflower to have the seats she and her brothers were about to occupy. Tommy and Frankie were speechless, which was a definite first for the Rizzoli boys.

"Damn Jane! How did you manage to get these tickets? Did you save like the Pope are something?" asked Tommy.

"It wasn't me little brother. You can thank Maura for these tickets. They are a gift to us from her," Jane tried to smile but felt a tightness around her heart.

"Maura?" asked Frankie. "What did we do to have Maura treat us to this?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I was just given the tickets this morning."

As they settled into their seats it was immediately clear that Maura hadn't secured three tickets to this game but four. There was an empty seat in between Jane and her brothers. Staring at the seat that should have had her best friend, Jane had to fight back the beginnings of tears. _You are supposed to be here, Maura._

"Is Maura meeting us here?" asked Tommy.

"No," and Jane didn't expand on that answer.

Frankie started to say something but saw the look on Jane's face and stopped. After a few seconds of silence, he reached over and grabbed Jane's hand. "Whatever is going on, it'll be ok Janie."

Jane let out a deep sigh and looked at her brother, "I really hope so."

The Rizzoli clan distracted themselves over the next 20 minutes watching pre-game warm-ups for both teams. All three Rizzolis started to relax a bit. The atmosphere at a Sox/Yankees game was infectious and it was hard not to get swept up in the moment. All three Rizzolis were life-long Red Sox fans and while they had all been inside Fenway for random games throughout the years they never got used to the sights, sounds and smells of this ballpark.

The game was about to start when Jane felt a light tap on her shoulder. She turned around and for a brief moment thought she might find Maura. However, it wasn't Maura who tapped her shoulder.

"Detective Rizzoli, so good to see you again," said the man seated behind her.

"Dr. Peterson. How are you?" Jane recognized the man immediately as a doctor from Mass General Maura had tried to set her up with about two years ago.

"I'm good. How are you? And it's Michael, Jane."

"I'm just fine thanks. Fancy meeting you here," she said with a grin.

"Oh, I never miss the Yankees games."

"These are the season tickets you mentioned to me that one time?"

"Yes, You should have taken a bigger interest in me two years ago. This," he gestured towards the park and view, "could have been all yours," and his grin got wider.

"You should have described the seats in a bit more detail," she teased.

Michael laughed at that comment. His eyes wandered to Frankie and Tommy and his grin got bigger as he realized they were both getting absorbed in their banter.

Jane, catching that he was eyeing her brothers, reacted. "I'm sorry Michael, these two here are my brothers, Frankie and Tommy. Guys, this is Dr. Peterson." Both Frankie and Tommy shook hands with the doctor.

"Janie, you had a shot at this and passed? You need to get your head examined," uttered Tommy. "Owww!" came next as he got punched by Jane.

Michael couldn't help but snicker. "Where's Maura?"

"Maura?" Jane asked surprised that he was asking.

"Yes, Maura. She was supposed to be here with you. Is she just running late?"

Jane, uncertain as to how Michael knew Maura was involved with the tickets almost didn't answer. "No, she's not running late. She just couldn't make it tonight." The sadness behind that answer was detected by all three men.

"That surprises me. She went through an awful lot of effort to get those tickets for you guys."

Clearly Michael knew something of the history of the tickets. He now had Jane's full attention. Maybe, just maybe Michael knew something that could help Jane out.

"What do you mean?"

"She didn't tell you?"

"No, she didn't. What did she tell you?"

"Well, the seats the four of you are occupying, Maura's absence notwithstanding, are Dr. Xiang's seats. When Maura told me what she wanted and why, I put her in touch with Xiang. He is the only person I know in this entire section that, for the right deal, would ever even consider parting with Yankees tickets."

"And what did it cost Maura?" Jane was almost afraid to hear how much money Maura had been roped into spending on the seats.

"I know part of the payment but I have a feeling she didn't tell me absolutely everything. Would you believe that Maura didn't have to pay a penny for these tickets?"

Jane was already shaking her head no. "If she didn't get charged then how did she manage four tickets?"

"Would you believe Maura offered to cover Xiang's medical service/on call rotation for every weekend next month?"

"What?!"

"Our good Dr. Isles offered to cover Xiang's call rotation at Mass General."

"She agreed to work on live people?" Jane was now completely confused.

"I was a bit shocked myself. I've known Maura for years and she absolutely hates treating patients. She was always better suited for pathology."

Jane tried to picture Maura covering a hospital rotation full of living, breathing patients. She could also almost see Maura breaking out in hives. _Maura, why? _ She just didn't understand any of this. "Michael, you said Maura told you why she wanted these tickets. Will you please tell me what she said to you?"

Michael hesitated for a moment. He started to debate if he had overstepped the boundaries a bit and was about to avoid answering when he looked at Jane. There was a slight look of desperation on Jane's face and some panic too. Michael took in that look and decided to explain to Jane what Maura had told him.

"Maura came to me about two months ago and asked if I knew anyone with four tickets they would be willing to sell to her. I asked her what game and she didn't know. She asked what the absolute best game to watch would be and I told her any Red Sox/Yankees game would be like gold.

"So then she asked if I knew anyone willing to part with four Red Sox/Yankees seats. Jane, I swear I'd have given her my seats but I only have two seats and she insisted on four."

"Did she explain why she wanted four tickets?"

"She told me she wanted to surprise you and your brothers with the tickets. She said she wanted to do something that would show the three of you just how grateful she was that you had accepted her into your lives and made her feel like part of your family."

Jane let out a slow breathe. "Did she…?" she had to choke back tears that stopped her from finishing her thought.

"Did she say anything else? Jane, she told me that for the first time in her life she understood what real, unconditional acceptance and love felt like. She said your whole family took her in and made her feel like she was wanted and loved. She said she just had to try to do something special for her new found family and you had tried to explain to her what Red Sox baseball had meant to the entire family once so she thought a game with you guys would be a small way to give something you love back to you."

Listening to this Jane couldn't stop the tears from falling. She wasn't sobbing but the tears streaked down her cheeks. She turned to Frankie and leaned in. "I have to go. Promise you both will stay for the entire game."

Frankie looked at her with concern and nodded. "Sure Janie, sure. Will you be ok?"

"I will be after I find Maura." She stood up, leaned in and kissed Michael's cheek. "Thank you Michael." She then walked away without even waiting to hear Michael's answer of "You're welcome, Jane."

**A/N Thanks to everyone for the reviews. I, too, have decided Maura's father is a prick. 3 years and not one appearance- so he's fair game to make into a jerk as far as I'm concerned. Sorry this is a little pieced together. I'm trying to fit in writing this as best I can with a crazy schedule. Thanks for hanging in as I work through the story. I think you'll understand and appreciate how this all works itself out and I'll try to get it out of my head and onto this as quickly as I can.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Maura wasn't really planning on turning on the television. She had spent most of the day just sitting on the terrace lost in her thoughts. She remembered coming back into the suite to get some dinner and when she glanced at the time on the microwave something within her instinctively moved to the living room and towards the television. She scrolled up and down the channels. She was not channel surfing in the normal sense. She was station-finding. ESPN to be exact.

Now, Maura wasn't a sports fan. It wasn't that she hated sports it was more that she hadn't ever watched sports so it just hadn't occurred to her to pay any attention. Until Jane, Maura barely touched her TV at all. Documentaries and the occasional movie would have been her extent. But Jane was a sports nut. All things Boston: Celtics, Bruins, Patriots and most of all, her beloved Red Sox. Maura smiled as an image of Jane watching any game swept through her thoughts. If anyone ever wanted to see pure passion, all they would need to do was watch Jane watching a Boston sporting event.

But here was Maura flipping through channels to find ESPN so she could watch part of the Red Sox and Yankees game. Thinking about the game made Maura's insides ache knowing she was supposed to be somewhere besides where she currently was. Sighing, Maura straightened up. _It's for the best_ was all she could think. She finally found ESPN and settled into the couch. She just wanted to catch a glimpse of the game that was meant to be a gift for the Rizzoli family.

The station was just coming back from a commercial break. Maura really didn't care what the score was but she knew it meant something to Jane that the Sox win so she was hoping to see them ahead when they flashed the score. She was going to just check the score and then turn off the TV. As the last commercial ended, the TV turned back to the game and the stadium came into focus. As Maura looked on waiting for the scoring recap, the camera point of view was focusing in on the home plate area and the next batter to be at bat.

That's when she saw them. In the background she saw the distinct forms of both Frankie and Tommy Rizzoli. Maura had a hitch in her breathing when she spotted them. She was aware that the tickets she had intended to share with all of them were for somewhere behind home plate but she didn't know the stadium well enough to know an exact location. But there they were, the Rizzoli brothers, in living color and on ESPN. Maura let out a shaky breathe and almost squinted to see if she could find Jane.

What she saw next hurt her heart. Next to Frankie and Tommy were two empty seats. She knew what happened to one of them. She had the ticket to one of those seats in her purse. She didn't know where Jane was. Part of her wasn't surprised to see the seat empty. She knew that the note she left behind for Jane had a good chance of upsetting Jane greatly. It made her sad to think of Jane missing the game though, even if she was mad at Maura for running away.

Those tickets and this game had been meant to be a gift to the Rizzoli family. Maura had for months tried to figure out something to do for Jane and her brothers. She had felt so loved and protected by all of the Rizzolis that she wanted to do something to show her gratitude. They all had unselfishly invited her into their family. It was a feeling Maura was not used to and she wanted to do something to start to repay the tremendous debt she felt she owed to them. Dr. Peterson had helped her arrange for the tickets and she had meant for the four of them to be at this game together. It was not meant to be.

It had all come crashing down on Maura after the visit from her father. That visit and her father's complete dismissal of Maura had shaken her to her core. Maura's mind wandered back to that night and its aftermath.

_I said I want you to stay away from your Mother and me. I don't want you calling us, visiting us or trying to be a part of our lives ever again. _

Those words haunted Maura. Even now she had a hard time accepting that her father meant what he had said that night. She had been summarily dismissed by her father. It had been as if the lifetime she had spent calling him her family hadn't counted for anything.

And then there were the reasons he was walking away from her. The rant by her father had managed to hit upon every personal struggle and demon Maura was struggling with in one swift, brutal attack.

_My sheer disappointment in how your life has turned out. _

It was her father's first shot at her and it cut deeply. She had fears at different times during her life that she was disappointing both her parents. Even with a level of success as a doctor, Maura was never convinced that her life was accepted by her father. Her job as a medical examiner wasn't something her father understood. After medical school he didn't understand why she didn't continue in a specialty that was more socially acceptable. Her father always struggled with the fact that she worked for the state and with dead bodies. It never seemed to be good enough for him.

And then there was her personal life. She hadn't married Garrett Fairfield and that had devastated her father. She wasn't dating anyone in the "correct" social circles. She expressed no interest in marriage and really had never committed to having children. Her father was never happy when he felt like he had to offer up excuses to friends at social events when Maura had chosen to show up solo. Clearly her single life was a disappointment to him.

_My disgust at not only who your biological father truly is but also from having to live with that little detail being splashed over every newspaper and tabloid completely embarrassing your Mother and I. _

From the minute she discovered that her biological father was Irish Mob Boss Patrick Doyle, it had shattered Maura's sense of self. She feared that with Doyle's DNA coursing through her veins that she was pre-destined to turn out to be like him. A criminal. A killer. Evil. She read study after study debating the merits of nature versus nurture and she always seemed to land on the side of nature. How could she be guaranteed that she wouldn't turn out to be just like Doyle? Hadn't Hoyt, a sociopathic serial killer, even called out that she was just like him. Had Hoyt looked into her soul and seen what she did not yet know about her true identity?

_The monster that was responsible for creating you is a cold blooded killer and he has killed for you. _

How had her father known about Tommy O'Rourke? Doyle had killed O'Rourke to send a message for other mob families to stay away from his daughter. Maura had never felt responsible for another person's life until that moment. That man, regardless of his criminal past, was dead because of her. Maura repeatedly had nightmares where she stood over the body of O'Rourke laughing and the ice pick that was to cause his death lingering in her hands. She was the direct cause of a murder and it haunted her. 

_Watching your Mother suffer through pain and injuries that only came to her because of you. I almost lost my wife because someone was trying to harm you and she paid the price for it. _

Her father's last shot at her was his cruelest. The guilt Maura continued to feel over the injuries her mother had suffered was not easing. It had been Maura the firefighter was trying to run down that night but Constance had pushed her out of the way. She had almost gotten her mother killed. It was all her fault. All the choices she had made in life had lead her down the path that brought her into that arson case and into the direct path of that car. But it was her mother that absorbed the impact of the car. It should have been her. The pain and long recovery Constance was forced to endure broke Maura's heart. For her father to use that accident against her broke Maura into a pieces she was now convinced could never be put back together.

Tears again started to fall down Maura's cheeks. She still could not replay that moment with her father without breaking down and crying. He had managed to latch onto to every doubt and insecurity Maura had and he had twisted it all into what felt like one knife stabbing her right in the gut.

Drawing in a deep breath and wiping away the tears from her cheeks Maura re-focused in on the game that was still being played. As it turned out, the Red Sox were winning easily as it was the top of the 9th and they were up 5 runs. Well, at least Jane's brothers got to see a win she thought. Feeling drained, Maura grabbed the remote, turned off the TV and headed to bed. She hoped for a dreamless sleep.

Maura awoke the next morning feeling marginally better rested than the day before. It hadn't been a dreamless sleep but she had slept more than she thought she would. It was shaping up to be a beautiful morning and Maura felt the urge to go running. She changed into her running attire and pulled her iPod from her suitcase. Maybe the run would help start to clear her head.

Maura run around Central Park for more than an hour. It hadn't really helped to clear her head but the run felt good on her muscles. She had been neglecting any kind of an exercise routine for well over a week and it felt good to run some of the rust off.

She seemed to be a bit more relaxed when she was greeted by Jeffrey as he held open the door for her.

"Good morning Dr. Isles."

"Good morning Jeffrey," she acknowledged and thanked him for opening the door.

Maura walked towards the elevator when something caught her attention from the corner of her eye. She stopped almost on a dime and slowly turned to her right. There, sitting in a chair with one leg crossed over the other and arms folded lightly across her lap, was Jane.

"Do I still merit a greeting Maura?"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Again, thanks to all of you that have reviewed this story. I am truly humbled. I'm almost to the end- I promise. I should be able to complete this story tomorrow. You're continued patience and interest is appreciated.**

Chapter 10

Maura just stood and stared at Jane. She had heard Jane's question but she was not making any effort to offer an answer. Jane shifted slightly in the chair not really knowing how to interpret Maura's silence. Both ladies locked onto the eyes of the other and for what felt like an eternity neither made a move. Or a noise. Anyone observing from the outside would wonder if either woman had dared to even draw in a breath.

Jane knew she couldn't be the first one to break the stare-down. She was the intruder here. Maura had asked for Jane to stay away, to give her space but Jane chose not to listen. She instinctively knew that if she pushed too much harder Maura might completely shut her out. She was already pushing the envelope by showing up as it was. The rest of how all of this would play out needed to be on Maura's terms. So, Jane just kept staring back at Maura.

Maura's mind kicked into overdrive when she took in the sight of Jane. Seeing Jane sitting in the lobby made her at first want to smile and embrace her friend but then it quickly made her both utterly confused and then sad. Part of her was shocked to see Jane had tracked her down. Part of her wasn't not at all surprised that Jane was sitting in front of her. Part of her was mad that Jane was too stubborn to listen when asked to give her time alone. Part of her wondered whether she secretly had been hoping that Jane would seek her out all along. All of this was rolling through Maura's head and the effect was almost overwhelming.

As Jane watched her friend process whatever was going on internally her concern for Maura grew exponentially. As strong as Jane tried to be on a daily basis, she had always thought Maura was the stronger of the two. Jane was in awe of Maura's consistent, quiet composure and knew that there was a mental toughness within Maura that she just did not have. Taking in the fragileness of her friend in this moment, Jane's heart ached of her. _Please Maura let me help you_ was all Jane could think.

Finally, Maura broke. Tears filled her eyes as she briefly looked away from Jane and she knew she was going to cry again. Not wanting to fall apart down in the lobby she raised her head and reconnected with Jane's patient gaze.

"Can we go up to the suite please?" she asked in a hollow tone that startled Jane.

Jane stood up and slowly approached Maura. She fought her urge to throw her arms around Maura suddenly afraid that any quick movement would eliminate what appeared to be progress. "Lead the way," and she waited for Maura to turn and head back towards the elevator. Jane hoped Maura wouldn't notice the sign of relief she was letting out. _One step at a time._

They waited quietly for the elevator to come back down to the first floor. Jane couldn't help but notice the slight hunch in Maura's shoulders and when she got a chance to glance at her friend again she could see Maura was struggling not to cry. The elevator opened and both women shuffled in without making any further eye contact. Maura hit the "PH" button and Jane also noted that her hands were shaking. She knew Maura was close to losing it.

Nothing was said in the elevator and Jane simply followed Maura to the door of the penthouse suite. Maura pulled out the magnetic key card but immediately struggled in her attempts to swipe the card. The tears were starting to flow freely down her cheeks and her whole body was starting to shake. She was grateful to feel Jane's hands cover hers and remove the key card. Jane swiped the card and opened the door. She then gently guided Maura into the suite.

Jane maneuvered Maura towards the couch just in time. As the door was closing, Maura's hold on her emotions and any sense of restraint broke and she erupted into a full body sob. Jane pulled Maura into an embrace as she sat both of them down in one fluid motion. She tightened her grip around Maura who had now buried her head into Jane's shoulder. Jane slowly stroked Maura's back with one hand and just let Maura ride out the emotional onslaught. All the while repeating just one thing.

"I'm right here."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Jane let Maura cry herself out. She didn't seem to have any idea how long it took for the blonde to slowly start to even out her breathing and for her shoulders to stop shaking. But Maura eventually calmed down and pushed herself back away from Jane's embrace.

"I'm sorry," she sighed all the while diverting her eyes from Jane's.

"For what?"

"For being a complete mess."

"Hey Maura," Jane gently placed her hand under Maura's chin and tilted up her head so she could look directly into Maura's eyes, "you have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing." Jane's statement was full of sincerity and compassion.

Pulling a little further back from Jane, Maura started to compose herself. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but how did you know where to find me?"

"You weren't that hard to find Maura. I am a detective, remember." Maura looked at her expecting a more detailed answer. Jane sighed and continued. "I dumped your cell phone." She said without any hint of apology.

"Jane, you can get into a lot of trouble for doing that."

"So," Jane said while rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious Jane. Cavanaugh could come down hard on you for running those records for personal reasons."

"Maura, I don't give a damn about that." Jane repositioned herself on the couch so she could face Maura. "All I know is that I needed to find you and I was going to do anything I had to do to make that happen."

Both women grew quiet neither knowing where to begin. Maura knew Jane wanted and deserved an explanation. She just wasn't sure if she could. She started to fidget and that made her uneasy so she got up looking for something to occupy her nervous energy. "Would you like something to drink?"

"I'm fine for right now."

Maura got up and went into the kitchen. She half expected Jane to trial behind but she held her position on the couch. Maura opened the fridge and removed a bottle of water. Her caught sight of herself in the reflection from the stainless steel appliance and realized what a mess she was. Jane had found her at the end of a jogging session and she was in serious need of a shower. It would also allow her a chance to compose herself.

She wandered back into the living room and looked at Jane. "I know we need to talk. Or, more to the point, I know I owe you an explanation."

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to Maura."

"I know. And I'm grateful for that. Would you be ok for a few minutes while I grab a shower? I was just returning from a run this morning and I really need to get cleaned up."

"You don't need my permission to take a shower Maura. I'm sure I can keep myself occupied while you get comfortable. And after your shower, talk to me or don't talk to me. That's entirely your choice. I just want you to know I'm here for you for whatever you need."

The softness in Jane's voice almost made her start crying again. But instead, she excused herself to get cleaned up. She went into her bedroom and started the water. Inhaling deeply, Maura tried to steady her emotions. Jane was here and Maura needed to decide if she wanted to let Jane in to help her.

_How do you tell your best friend that you're just not worth all of this effort?_

Maura re-emerged from the bedroom about twenty minutes later. Jane had moved out onto the terrace and seemed lost in thought. Maura cleared her throat before walking out to join Jane. She took a seat in the chair next to Jane and stared out over the park.

"This is an incredible view," Jane stated still wanting Maura to navigate the conversation.

Maura nodded. "It was the reason I bought this place. I don't get to New York more than twice a year but when I saw this view I couldn't imagine anyone else having it."

Silence settled back into the air. It wasn't an awkward silence but it was a stubborn silence. Maura realized that Jane was not going to force the conversation in any way. It was up to Maura.

"Jane…."

"Whatever is going on Maura, we can work through it together."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"There is nothing you could tell me that would ever change how I feel about you. Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then trust that I won't hurt you."

A tear started to fall down Maura's cheek. "Oh, I'm getting so sick of crying all the time," she said with an exasperated tone. "All of this is just, just….." and she couldn't think of a word to finish the sentence. "I don't know how to talk about any of this."

"I've always found that starting at the beginning seems to work fairly well."

"What if the beginning starts before I was even born?'

It was an odd question, one Jane hadn't been expecting. But she had an answer. "Then I'd suggest we both get really comfortable and you start all the way back to the beginning of time if that is what you need to do."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Very, very Maura-centric. But it can not be avoided at this point in the story.**

Chapter 12

Jane desperately wanted to know what was wrong. She couldn't begin to help Maura until she understood what all of this was about. What scared Jane the most was that this was really the first time she had ever seen Maura struggle to even participate in a conversation. Usually, even when the topic was tough, Maura would tackle the issues head on and use logic and reasoning. But now, the Maura sitting in front of Jane was almost a stranger. She saw self doubt and confusion etched on Maura's face and she could find no trace of the confidence that normally enveloped Maura.

"I never really belonged in life. My biological parents didn't want me," Maura started. Jane held her tongue not wanting to impede on Maura's movement of the conversation. "My adoptive parents accepted me but then never really knew what to do with me. I drifted through most of my life alone.

"When I was first told by my mother that I was adopted, I wasn't even surprised. In fact, my first thought was that it explained several things I had been wondering about up to that point. I know I've told you that I didn't ask for much from them and they were very wrapped up in their own lives. I started to wonder early on, when I was five or six, if there was something wrong with me. My parents provided for me but there wasn't any real sense of love or warmth that I would see from other families. I tried to work through why and I just keep coming back to believing that it had to be something about me.

"When I was about to turn seven, my mother told me that I was adopted. I remember her taking me by the hand and sitting me down at our dining room table. She explained to me that she hadn't been able to have a child of her own so they adopted me.

"As soon as she said I was adopted and it was because she couldn't have a child of her own, I knew that I would never be fully loved or accepted by her or my father. It wasn't presented to me in that 'of all the babies we chose you' context. I heard what she said and to me it was her way of saying I was what they had to settle for when what they really wanted they couldn't have."

"Maura," Jane couldn't hold her tongue any longer.

But Maura quickly held up a hand in a stop motion. "Jane, please just let me work through all of this."

Jane closed her mouth and just nodded.

"It made perfect sense to me. I was already thinking something was wrong. Having my mother define the perimeters of what it was actually helped me accept it easier. They weren't mean or neglectful to me. But, I always felt like I was being held at a distance from them. I was never fully embraced and accepted by them as a true daughter. That was the reason I sent away for the application for boarding school. I figured it would be best for all three of us if I was removed from their family circle as much as I could be.

"They both stayed involved in my life but they both seemed to appreciate my willingness to stay away. I was given every financial advantage, all the right schools, all the right social networks. There was just never any true closeness and it's amazing what you can accept or get used to if you are surrounded by it enough. I just got used to the limitations of the family that I was given.

"In many ways, the lack of emotional connection to my parents helped push me to where I am right now. Science was a nice escape for me. It was logical and analytical and there was always an answer. Emotions played no part in discovery or research. It was comforting to me. Becoming a doctor just seemed to be a natural evolution for me and the forensic pathology path was easiest for me because I could avoid emotional connections to patients. It was safe and I embraced it fully.

"Had things stayed the same for me, I think I would have been just fine in life. I wasn't really aware of what I was missing out on from an emotional needs perspective so I don't believe I would have ever felt cheated out of anything. You can't miss what you never had. But, things didn't stay the same for me. I met you."

Maura paused for the first time during her delivery and it was to make eye contact with Jane. Up to that point, her focus was downshifted or moving from object to object in the room. Suddenly, she was deadlocked into a gaze with Jane. Jane held her breath and found herself in such unchartered territory that she didn't know if Maura was going to say knowing her was a good or a bad thing.

Maura read Jane's face and sighed. _You really don't know just how much you mean to me, do you? _she thought. "Meeting you, Jane, was the best thing that has ever happened to me." She held Jane's eyes as she said the entire sentence. "But, it has turned my world a little upside down.

"Before you, I didn't know about friendship. I knew about acquaintances. Before you, I didn't worry about human interactions. I avoided them. We joke about my being a cyborg but that's not totally a mischaracterization of my personality before I met you. You brought humanity into my life Jane and I will forever be grateful to you for that."

Jane's eyes started to swell with tears. She inhaled deeply and tried to steady herself from the raw emotions of what Maura was saying. There were things she desperately wanted to say, things about Maura and what she meant to her. Things about the impact Maura had on her life. But she sensed this was still only about Maura. Maura was building up to something. There was still so much that Maura needed to get out, to say, that Jane just couldn't intercept the conversation for her own personal needs.

Maura reached out and grabbed Jane's hands. Squeezing them, she continued. "You have been so wonderful to me. You accepted me for who I was and you have never tried to change me. For the first time in my life I was surrounded by what I felt was unconditional support and friendship. Early on, it became apparent to me what I had been missing out on in life.

"And then there is your family. Your parents, your brothers, all of them seemed to just accept that I was this person in your life and that I was a friend without any questions. Without any doubts. It was a second dose of pure, unconditional acceptance from them. Because I mattered to you, I mattered to them. I had never experienced anything like that before. I felt so protected and secure by it.

"The more time I spent with you and your family, the more I regretted the way I was brought up. I was jealous of your relationship with your family. But, I was grateful that I got to witness it. Jane, they all care for you so much. One of the things I look forward to every day is the possibility was watching some kind of exchange between you and your family because every time I get to see it I get a glimpse of what is right in this world.

"So again, if things had stayed the same I believe I would have been just fine in life. Happier and more open to people and relationships and surrounded by people I cared for and who for some reason seemed to care for me as well. But things didn't stay the same. I found out who my biological father was.

"I know we have discussed parts of this. You know my concerns about what it means to have Doyle's DNA as part of me. When I learned who he was and what he was part of me reverted back to when I was a child and believed there was something wrong with me. I started to think that my parents kept me at a distance because they knew what was within me and they were afraid I would turn out like Doyle. I started to believe that maybe they had known and that was why I was never fully accepted by them.

"Trying to deal with Doyle, with what he means to my life really threw my sense of self into disarray. I've struggled to come to terms with it all and I still feel as if I don't know who I am at my core. To be honest with you, I've been on pretty shaky psychological ground for some time. It didn't help matters when Doyle was shot and it became public knowledge that he was my biological father."

_Ouch! _That last statement hit Jane like a bulldozer.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Jane pulled her hands from Maura's like they were on fire. It was Jane who shot Doyle. It was Jane that caused the media splash about Maura and Doyle's connection. Jane knew she hurt her friend when all that happened but she didn't realized just how deep that hurt had run. She wanted to scream she was sorry. She wanted to fix it for Maura. But, she continued to just sit and listen.

Maura saw the hurt look that washed over Jane's face. _Damn it, this was what I was trying not to do. Stop hurting Jane! _"Jane, don't. Don't even start to beat yourself up about Doyle. None of that was your fault. I'm not telling you any of this to hurt you. I'm just trying to explain where I'm at and Doyle factors into it. I'm sorry I don't want to upset you."

Finding her voice Jane looked up at Maura. "I'm okay. I will admit that I'm having an awful time just sitting here listening to you. There are things I want to say. Things I think you need to hear. But I want you to finish what's on your mind first. It's important that I let you keep talking."

Maura nodded acknowledging what she was sure she already knew. Jane had things she wanted to say but Jane was also right. Maura had started down this path and she had to get all the way to the end. Jane would just have to wait for her turn. Maura took comfort in Jane's patience which now seemed to be endless.

"The media coverage of Doyle's connection to me was the last thing I needed. I didn't need a daily reminder of something I knew I needed to deal with but was desperately trying to avoid. I don't, even now really, know how I feel about him. I know who he is and I know what he has done. But I have yet to resolve my feelings for him.

"I'd like to think I can just walk away. But I'm connected to him in a way that haunts me. He killed someone because of me. For me. I'm responsible for what he did to Tommy O'Rourke. And I know that he was already a killer before that night and I know that O'Rourke has just as many lives on his hands as Doyle, but the bottom line is that O'Rourke died because of me. I have to live with that every day.

"Then there are my mothers. Hope doesn't want me and I can understand that. I'm just a constant reminder of a painful experience she would rather forget. I should never have told her who I was. I knew it wasn't going to end with some magical family reunion. How could she ever be expected to accept me, to love me. I'm a killer's daughter. I'm a reminder of a horrible decision she once made in her life. She would have been better off never knowing me.

"But all of that pales in comparison to what I did to my mother. She almost died because of me. That should have been me that was run down, not her. It was me that went digging into those arsons and it was me that was the intended target. My mother pushed me out of the way. She never should have done that. She never should have risked her life to try to protect me."

Maura started to cry again as she spoke of her mother. Jane had done her best to listen to Maura and let her talk without interrupting. She knew all of this needed to come out of Maura. But she was finding it harder and harder to sit quietly while Maura expressed some of her thoughts because she was just flat out wrong. Treading carefully, Jane could no longer stay quiet.

"Maura. Maura look at me," Jane's tone was strong but not harsh. Maura looked up. "I can't sit here any longer and listen you try to explain how everyone in your life would be better off without you. I know that's where you are going with this. I won't let you do that anymore. And I won't let you take the blame for things that are not your fault.

"I get that you are hurting. I get that you are feeling a bit lost. I'll talk you through any issues you have, any doubts you have and any questions that you have. But, you are going to have to stop blaming yourself for everything that has happened to you. And you most certainly have to stop thinking people are better not having you in their lives. Nobody who knows you, really knows you, could ever think that."

Maura dropped her eyes and let tears flow down her cheeks. "The thing is Jane, yes they can. And they do."

"Who?" Jane asked confused.

Maura took a deep breath. "My father." She barely said it above a whisper.

"What do you mean your father?"

"He came to see me last week and he wants nothing to do with me ever again."

Jane sat back against the couch. So that's what all of this is about. "Maura, he couldn't have meant it," she tried.

Maura got up and walked into the bedroom. Jane heard the sound of drawer open and papers being pushed around. She returned with an envelope and what looked like legal papers. "He meant it Jane." And Maura handed over the papers to Jane.

Jane looked at the papers trying to figure out what she was looking at. The title towards the top read "Dissolution of Trust" and then there was a lot of legal language. As Jane scanned the papers, she felt nauseous. She was, in essence, hold paperwork confirming that Mr. Isles was disowning Maura. Jane looked up in complete shock.

"Oh my God, Maura!" Jane's heart broke for her. How could he do this to her? That son of a bitch! "He gave you these last week?"

"No, those were sent by messenger over to me a few days ago. Last week I got the in-person visit where he demanded I stay away from him and my mother."

"Maura, I'm so sorry. Why?"

"Because of everything I've been telling you. He hit it all. Doyle, O'Rourke, Constance's accident. He threw it all at me and then he was done. This dissolution is just a formality."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this sooner?"

"I wanted to. After he left and I fell apart I had the phone in my hand and I almost called you. But…"

"But what?"

"But he was right. He was right about all of it. I've caused them nothing but trouble and I just couldn't get past the feeling that I'm more trouble than I'm worth." It was a hard thing for Maura to admit out loud. "I knew if I called you would drop everything and try to comfort me. I just didn't think I deserved to be comforted."

Jane stood up and started pacing. The anger she felt towards what Maura's father had done was blinding. She clinched and flexed her hands. She needed to calm herself down because she needed to speak to Maura and sound rational. When Jane finally calmed down she turned to Maura who had also stood up but was not pacing. "Sit," and she pointed to the couch. Maura sat.

"Ok, I'm going to say this just once and you are going to listen to me and then we are both just going to accept it as the complete truth and move on without debate. Maura, you are amazing. You are the kindest, smartest, most generous person I have ever known. The fact that you have gone through all the things you have had to endure in your life and you still get up every day, do great work helping those who can no longer help themselves and still try to put others before your own needs just proves how amazing you are.

"You are my best friend. I've never, ever allowed myself to rely on anyone the way I rely on you. And I rely on you because I know you will be there for me, because I trust you and because I have complete faith that you will never hurt me. You are the only person I trust to see my vulnerable side because I know you will not view me as weak or pathetic.

"And it's not just me, Maura. My whole family adores you. My mother considers you a daughter. Tommy and Frankie see you as a sister. You talked earlier about how much our accepting you into our family meant to you but you need to consider how much you mean to our family. How much you mean to me. I can't even imagine my life without you.

"All of this," and she pointed down to the papers from her father, "just sucks. I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone you loved and trusted hurting you the way that your father has hurt you. But Maura, this is his issue. Him. Not you. If he can't see you for who you really are then it will be his loss. He will miss out on a lifetime of memories and joys from you and spending time with you. If he can't see the real you, then he doesn't deserve to have you in his life.

"As for Doyle and O'Rourke, I know that all of that has shaken you to the core. I'm here for you and I will help you sort through all of your emotions and concerns. But we can do it together. And through it all, I will continue to remind you, daily if I have to, that you are _nothing_ like Doyle. You, Maura Isles, do not have a single vindictive bone in your body…"

"Jane, bones can't possibly possess human emotional traits."

For the first time since her arrival in New York, Jane laughed. "You just couldn't help yourself, could you?"

"No," Maura finally smiled, "I guess I can't."

"Maura, family is complicated. It's messy. And in the end family has nothing to do with deoxyribonucleic acid." At that Maura looked stunned and raised an eyebrow. "What? I know some things," Jane smirked as she said that last line. "As I was saying, family has nothing to do with genetics. Family is about love and acceptance. Sometimes a person is lucky and finds that with the biological family. Sometimes it's found with an adoptive family. Others find it with the friends they choose to surround themselves with.

"A person just has to hold on to wherever it comes from. Family keeps you grounded. And you Maura, have family right in front of you."

Maura, crying again, embraced Jane. But this time, it was a different kind of cry. It was a grateful, hopeful cry.


	14. TO BE CONTINUED

**A/N Ok, so I'm changing the status of this story from complete to in-progress. I have had enough requests for either a sequel or a continuation that I have decided to move forward and continue this storyline. **

**I have a good idea of where to go and it will involve these 2 ladies taking their relationship to the next level- so I am also re-tagging the genre to include romance.**

**I may not be able to write and post as quickly as the first half of this for this week due to some time constraints but I've started the continuation and will be able to really get rolling closer to the weekend. **

**I don't like to make people wait for chapters, so I'll do what I can to put dents in the story- but I beg forgiveness and hope you all will be patient and happy that I'm extended this story.**

**Thanks!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N In true continuation form…..we pick up right where we left the ladies. I should still be able to do more later this weekend but here's a start to the continuation.**

Chapter 15

The morning light started to pour into the penthouse suite. Jane sat at the end of the couch with her feet wrapped up underneath her. She looked over at the sleeping doctor who was occupying more than what should have been just half of the couch. Jane gently reached over and adjusted the blanket being careful not to wake Maura. _She needs sleep, _thought Jane. Maura had only fallen asleep about 2 hours ago.

Part of Jane had wanted to move Maura to the bed but she was afraid that would wake her up. She almost suggested it earlier when it was clear that Maura was fading and going to fall asleep but she again was concerned that any sleep suggestion would have been actively resisted by Maura. So she just let her friend talk and cry herself to sleep. Jane's protective instinct kicked in and kept her perched on the end of the couch. She hadn't wanted Maura to wake up alone.

Jane herself had not gotten any sleep. She was surprised that she didn't feel more tired than what she felt at the moment. Mostly, she was just replaying her conversation with Maura in her head over and over. There were so many things that Maura had touched on but Jane also knew there was so much more that needed to be discussed. She tried to convince herself that her approach last night was the right one, that letting Maura talk without interrupting was the right thing to have done. But doubt was creeping in on Jane. _Should I have pushed back harder last night? _

Jane was scared that by not pushing back on some of Maura's statements it may have re-enforced Maura's belief in what she was saying. It broke Jane's heart that Maura was struggling with so much self doubt. How could Maura ever believe that people would have been better off without her in their lives? None of that thinking made any sense to Jane.

She understood most of Maura's struggles with regards to all the Doyle and O'Rourke backlash. She had already spent several nights talking with Maura about Doyle and genetics and whether a person's DNA could determine the type of person they would become. She had even suffered through Maura's quoting of seven different university studies on the topic only to have Maura still not resolve the issue within herself. Part of Maura seemed convinced that because Doyle's DNA ran through her she was going to turn into a criminal.

This was where Jane didn't understand her friend. Maura seemed convinced that she was going to change once she found out who her biological father was. It was as if she thought knowing that Doyle was a criminal would automatically make Maura one too. Hard as she tried, Jane could not seem to convince Maura that she wasn't capable of being a criminal. She tried to get Maura to see that she was the same person she was before she found out about Doyle and if she hadn't become a criminal or killer before that revelation then she wouldn't become one after the revelation. Sometimes she thought Maura accepted that argument. Sometimes, however, she knew Maura continued to struggle with her paternity.

And Jane had discussed O'Rourke with Maura. She knew that Maura felt responsible for O'Rourke being killed. Maura had repeatedly asked her if she had been the one to call Doyle when they found out who had killed Maura's half brother Colin. Doyle had given Maura a cell phone to be used to let him know how the investigation was progressing but Maura had turned the phone over to Jane. Jane hadn't made the call to Doyle but she couldn't ever say she was upset that Doyle had found out. O'Rourke would have killed Maura if he had figured out she was related to Doyle. Jane never approved of violence or murder but somehow the murder of a killer that ultimately helped protect her friend didn't seem so bad.

Jane had tried to talk Maura out of feeling like it was her fault. O'Rourke was part of the Irish mob and he was a killer. That lifestyle and who he was made him a target for murder regardless of Maura's involvement with him. But, Maura seemed fixated on the fact that Doyle had killed O'Rourke as his way of sending a message to not mess with his family. To not mess with Maura. Jane understood the guilt but she had misjudged just how deeply it had come to weigh upon Maura.

Jane understood Maura's feelings about Constance as well. There were a few times Jane had blamed herself for an injury to a loved one. Jane still fought pangs of guilt over Maura's attack and injuries inflicted by Hoyt. Maura had been in that room only because of Jane. So Maura blaming herself for Constance's injuries was not anything that shocked Jane. Jane had thought Maura had worked through that, especially with Constance recovering and gaining strength. Jane now wondered what the impact Maura's father had on her guilt level about Constance.

Jane shifted on the couch still trying not to wake up Maura. She looked over and watched Maura's heavy, deep breathing and realized that she was sound asleep. Needing to move around, Jane carefully got up off the couch. A quick double check of Maura found no disruption. Jane walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water from the refrigerator. She then walked out onto the terrace. She kept the door open and shifted so she could keep an eye on the couch. She was not going to have Maura awaken to an empty room.

She sighed and looked out over the park. It really was a great view and the sun was still in a low raise. The sky had a breath-taking pink hue. Wishing she could sit back and enjoy the sunrise Jane's thought travelled back to Maura's father. How could he do that to Maura? Jane had witnessed many levels of cruelty throughout her career but she would have a hard time coming up with any incident that could match what Phillip had done to Maura.

Jane knew Maura loved her father. From all the things Jane could ever get Maura to tell her about both her parents, Maura looked up to and respected Phillip and had seemed to be at ease with him. She admitted that both parents were more distant and not very affectionate but up until this incident Jane had thought that both parents loved Maura and just had issues with how they expressed that love. But for Phillip to disown his daughter for no justifiable reason was not love.

Unfortunately for Jane, she also was dealing with hurt caused by her father. Jane had worshiped her father throughout her life. She thought she had the wonderful father-daughter relationship. But then her father had walked out on her mother and it just destroyed Jane. In the beginning she was clinging to the notion that her father left her mother which was sad and unfortunate but he hadn't abandoned her and her brothers. But, slowly she had to realize that Frank had walked out on the entire family. It wasn't a martial divorce, it was a family abandonment. Even now Jane struggled to fully describe the hurt he caused when he tried to get an annulment and disavow his family.

Jane started to wonder about the things she did not have answers to yet. What really had set off Phillip that made him go as far as drawing up the Dissolution papers? And what was Constance's reaction to the entire situation? Maura had not mentioned Constance last night. Jane never did get a call back from Constance when she was still trying to figure out what was going on with Maura. How could Constance stand by her husband and support something that clearly devastated her daughter? Jane wondered about how Maura wanted to proceed and what additional fallout had not yet been addressed. She sensed Maura was not yet at the end of her heartache.

Jane got up and wandered back into the living room. She stared down at Maura and again her heart broke for the pain she knew Maura was still facing. _Rest up, Maura. I'm here._ Jane carefully settled back into the corner of the couch. She was determined to be right there when Maura woke up. But as she stared at her friend, one more question kept nagging at her. _With all that had happened why did you run away from me?_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Two new chapters for you all. Sorry for the delay but I'm at the end of a long week so I should be able to crank out much more this weekend. As always, reviews are welcomed.**

Chapter 16

Maura started to stir on the couch. She slowly started to open her eyes and had the feeling it was later in the morning than her normal rising time. The room seemed too bright to be early morning. She went to straighten out her legs to stretch and quickly felt her foot push up against something. A little disoriented she had to really open her eyes to figure out what she was about to kick. As the room came into focus, she saw that she was about to kick Jane who seemed compressed into the end of the couch.

"Good morning sleepy head."

"What time is it?" Maura asked as she twisted herself back up into a half upright position.

Jane glanced at her cell phone, "10:30."

Maura was surprised she had slept so late. She thought about the last few days and realized that she must have finally slept to recover from exhaustion. She hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in nearly 2 weeks. She shifted again into a now fully upright sitter position.

"Do you want me to get you something, coffee or water or something?"

"Coffee would be great."

Jane removed herself from the couch and went into the kitchen to pour Maura a cup of coffee. She returned with the coffee and handed the cup to Maura. She then returned to end of the couch and waited for her friend to fully wake up.

Maura took the coffee and sipped slowly. She let the events of the previous day flash back to her, slowly replaying some of the highlights. She looked over at Jane who seemed content to stay silent while she gathered a clear mind. An odd look flashed across Maura's face that Jane couldn't quite explain.

"What?"

"You're here."

"Yes."

"It wasn't a dream. You really did come to find me. You really are here."

"Yes Maura, I'm really here," Jane was trying to figure out if Maura was happy or bothered by this fact. "Did you not want me here?"

Maura took in the look on Jane's face as she asked that. She was a little startled to see fear mixed into her concern. Quickly wanting to put her friend's concerns to rest Maura answered, "No, it's not that. I just meant that...well I thought that maybe I had dreamt you showed up yesterday. I'm really glad it wasn't a dream."

Jane relaxed a bit after hearing this. At least Maura wasn't upset or regretting that Jane had tracked her down. "I'll always be here for you, Maura."

Maura couldn't think of a response and oddly felt that one wasn't really required. She wondered whether all best friend relationships worked like this. She hadn't had close friends in the past until Jane so she didn't have anything to compare the relationship to. She could try to dissect the relationship and maybe compare it those she watched in movies or read in books but felt that somehow was not an adequate comparison. She suddenly realized that she didn't care about other best friend relationships. She was just grateful for the one that was sitting in front of her.

"So," Maura started, "I know I took off a week from work, but what did you do about work?"

"I'm off until I don't need to be off anymore."

"What does that mean?"

"Simply that I took an indefinite leave."

Maura balked a little at this. Had Jane really taken an unlimited amount of time off for her? "Jane?"

"What? When I asked for time off to go looking for you I had no real idea of one where you were and two what was wrong. So I couldn't give Cavanaugh any sort of time frame for a request off. So it was labeled indefinite."

Maura shook her head in disbelief. "Jane..."

"Maura you scared the hell out of me when you walked out. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I was afraid I was never going to see you again. Truth be known, I don't think I could handle not having you in my life. So don't give me that look like I did some selfless act because I think I went looking for you for purely selfish reasons. I needed to bring you back home. I didn't care what that would entail or how long that would take."

Tears started to well up in Maura's eyes. "Oh, damn it!" she sighed with some defeat.

"What?!"

"I told you I'm just really sick of crying and that's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I'm going to cry again."

Jane could help but smile at the pouting face Maura was making. She approached her friend and embraced her. "It shouldn't be about if you cry it should be about why you are crying. Some reasons are better than others."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Both Jane and Maura decided to get cleaned up. Maura had promised Jane a sight seeing tour of Manhattan and lunch. Jane had always wanted to explore New York with someone who knew the city and she also knew Maura needed a break from talking about her father. The city tour seemed like a good way to give her a bit of a break.

Not surprisingly, Jane finished getting ready first. She wandered back out onto the terrace and grabbed her cell phone.

_Found Maura. Things ok. Will return when she is ready._

She sent that text to both Korsak and Frost. They both had promised to cover for Jane at work until Jane could find Maura. Both men cared for Maura deeply and each knew Jane had to be the one that went to get her. Frost helped with the cell phone dump and Korsak found the number Maura had called to warn the building super that she would be staying at her place in New York. The rest was simply arranging travel. Jane felt lucky that she worked with two great men that valued friendship.

She was about to send Frankie a similar text as an update when the phone began to ring while in her hand. Based on the ring tone she didn't even need to check caller ID to know who was calling.

"Hi Ma," she greeted her mother.

"JANE RIZZOLI!" bellowed her mother so loud Jane had to pull the phone away from her ear, "WHY DO I HAVE TO HEAR FROM LT. CAVANAUGH THAT YOU LEFT TOWN?!"

"Calm down, Ma or I'll hang up this phone and not talk to you." Jane was hoping to get Angela's attention.

Angela at least took her voice down a few octaves but Jane was sure the phrase calm would not best describe her mood. "Where are you? I'm worried sick about you!"

"I'm ok Ma. Relax. I was just about to call you."

"Where are you and why did you leave town?"

"I had to Ma. Maura needed me."

The mention of Maura softened Angela instantly. "Where is she? Is she ok? What's wrong? You aren't telling me anything here Jane!"

Hurricane Angela strikes again thought Jane. "Ma, I'm with Maura. She's ok but is dealing with some personal issues. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving town but I didn't have a lot of time. Maura kind of took off and I had to find her. But I did and we are both safe, ok."

"What's wrong?"

"Ma, it's not my place to talk to you about it. That will have to come from Maura when she's ready to talk. But I will tell you that she's ok."

"Will you at least tell me where you both are?"

Jane paused to consider this. "Ma, again, I just think I'm not the one that should be filling in any of the blanks here. I hope you can understand that. I mean, I wasn't exactly invited here in the first place. I sort of barged in on her so I don't really think I should violate her privacy any more than I already have." She hoped that wouldn't upset her mother too much.

Clearly disappointed, Angela was forced to concede that any further information would have to come from Maura herself. "I'm your mother Jane. You should tell me these things. And I feel like a parent to Maura, too. If she's hurting or in trouble I just want to help her."

"I know Ma. Maura loves you and will tell you what's going on when she's ready. But you aren't going to get it from me."

"Is she really ok?"

"It's complicated, but I think in the end she will be."

"When are you coming home?"

"Whenever Maura is ready to come back."

"What about work?"

"I'm covered for a while. Frost and Korsak have my back and Cavanaugh was actually happy that I was going to make a dent in my vacation hours." Jane had such a stockpile of vacation that her boss once only half joked that she could probably take off six months.

"So I get to just sit here and worry about both of you and not be told what is going on?"

"That about sums it up, Ma. And I know that sucks for you but this is about Maura and what is best for her right now. Please understand that."

"I'll understand it more if you at least promise to call me everyday just so I know neither of you are dead in ditch somewhere." Angela's flare for the dramatic was topped only by her flare for parental guilt trips. But it was a small concession to make.

"Fine, Ma. I'll call you every day. I promise."

Angela's response was more of a grunt of frustration than an acknowledgement of any concession.

"Ma?"

"Yes..."

"Can you take care of Bass and Jo until we get back home?"

"Yes." She was pouting.

"Thanks, Ma. I love you."

That made her pout less. "I love you too Jane. And Maura. Please tell her that I love her like a daughter. I'm here if either of you two needs anything."

"You can tell Maura yourself how you feel about her. I'll try to get her to call you soon."

"Call me tomorrow."

"Will do."

And with that Angela hung up the phone. She was worried about both her girls but there was a part of her that was amazed at Jane. Angela knew of Jane's softer side, the side she kept hidden from almost everyone as she worked hard to keep up the "tough, strong detective" facade she tried so hard to wear every day. Few people saw this other side of Jane. Tender, sweet and fiercely loyal.

She was proud of Jane for going after Maura. She knew the girls were close but she was realizing she had underestimated just how much Maura had come to mean to her daughter. Angela knew Maura was in good hands if Jane was there to take care of her. One thing struck her though. If Frost or Korsak had run off, Angela seriously doubted that Jane would have dropped everything to go be with either one of them. She wondered what that meant.

Jane had hung up the phone and turned around to find Maura standing in the doorway listening to her end of the conversation.

"You could have at least told her we were in New York, Jane."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Oh no! If you want my mother to know where we are it'll have to come from you," Jane said emphatically. "But I warn you Maura, she is liable to get on a plane and storm the city. She's in true Hurricane Angela form. If you want to deal with her antics, you call and tell her where we are." Jane rose up one eyebrow and stared at Maura with an 'I dare you' look on her face.

Maura thought about what Jane was saying and realized she wasn't ready to handle Angela in full protective Mom mode. She dropped her eyes and a smirk came across her lips. "Upon further consideration thank you for not mentioning exactly where we are." Maura walked towards the ledge of the terrace. "Would you still like to see some of the city?"

Jane smiled and gently placed her hand on Maura's back. "Lead the way, Doc. Show me this city of yours."

The women made their way out of the suite. Maura was grateful for the distraction. She needed some time to be removed from her worries and nothing came as a better distraction as showing some of her favorite places in New York to Jane. Maura was surprised that Jane had never been sight-seeing in the city before and was happy that she got to show Jane the sights for the first time.

Their first stop was a walk through Central Park. There was such peace and tranquility in this park that it routinely enveloped Maura. As they strolled through the park, Maura pointed out all the sights. From the zoo, to the Kennedy-Onassis Reservoir to the Strawberry Fields Lennon tribute, Maura rambled on and on about the park's make up, history and a handful of interesting tidbits and observations. Jane walked along side Maura and just smiled as her tour guide pointed out everything.

From Central Park, Maura took Jane across the Brooklyn Bridge. At the halfway mark, they stopped and looked out over the city. The skyline was incredible. Jane got a strange look on her face as they looked out from the bridge.

"What?" asked Maura.

"I was just thinking how sad it is not to see the Towers," she said with unmistakable sadness in her voice.

"Yes, I sometimes am still surprised when I look up and see they aren't there. It was such a tragedy." Maura looked at Jane and noticed she had dropped her eyes and started rubbing the scar on her left hand. "Jane, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just the last time I was in this city was in the aftermath of 9/11."

This took Maura completely by surprise. Jane had never once mentioned she had spent time in New York after 9/11. "I had no idea you came up here, you've never said anything about that."

Jane nodded her head, "I don't like talking about it much. A bunch of us from BPD came up here about a week after it happened to help out. So many lives were lost. The devastation was unimaginable. There really wasn't much we could do but most of us couldn't _not _come. I stayed for a week but then had to get back. Korsak stayed for almost a month." As she talked her tone got quieter and quieter. "There's a lot of evil in this world Maura." It was a statement that Maura just let linger because there was no arguing with it.

After a few minutes, Jane snapped out of a daze. "Ok, let's get moving. What else do you have to show me?" Maura was used to Jane's quick diversion tactics. Jane was good at changing the subject when she hit a point where she didn't want to talk anymore. Maura knew Jane well enough to know not to push so she let the topic go. The ladies made it back across the bridge and back into Manhattan.

They stopped for lunch at Gramercy Tavern, Jane being somewhat impressed that Maura knew the owner and they had managed to get a table without a reservation. The food was fabulous and the women had a relaxed, easy conversation. Both talked about the small, trivial issues in life and successfully avoided any heavy topics of discussion. Jane went into a short dissertation about why Boston's athletic teams were ultimately far superior to the New York athletic teams and Maura opted to not point out the staggering World Series title differentiation so as not to upset Jane.

After lunch Maura took Jane to her two favorite buildings in the city. The first was Grand Central Station. Anyone that just thought Grand Central was just a transportation center was missing out of the uniqueness and wonder of the architecture of the building. Jane was impressed before they ever even stepped foot inside.

"It started out as a train depot in 1871 but was eventually torn down and rebuilt as Grand Central Station in 1913. The building itself is a National Monument, but my favorite part is this," Maura said as she stopped and pointed up. They had wandered into the main concourse of the station.

Jane looked up at what Maura was pointing at, "Oh, wow!"

Jane was looking up to see two things. First was a large American flag hanging from the ceiling. "They hung the flag just after 9/11," Maura stated. Jane just nodded as she was absorbed by the second part of what made her say wow; it was the ceiling itself.

"The ceiling was originally designed in 1912 but had to be redone in the 1930s due to damaged plaster. In the 1990s, the ceiling was restored to its original form except one patch so people could get an idea of just how much it was been cleaned up." Maura pointed out the patch that was not restored.

"The interesting thing about this ceiling is that first the sky is backwards and second the stars themselves are slightly displaced. The most popular theory is for the sky being backwards is that it is supposed to represent what the sky would like to God looking down over the Earth. Others think it was just a mistake by the artist but I have always found the God theory a bit more magical. It's hard to call any part of this ceiling a mistake."

"It's breath-taking," was all Jane could manage.

The second of Maura's favorite buildings was the New York City Public Library. Jane never thought she would be impressed by a library but the building just fascinated her. Its size alone was impressive.

"It's the second largest library in the United States," Maura commented when Jane said something about the size. "It was originally the merging of John Jacob Astor library that was started in the 1850s and the John Lennox library from the 1870s. The then Governor of New York Samuel Tilden bequeathed most of his estate to help with that merger envisioning a free, public library system for all of New York and in 1895 the two libraries merged. Andrew Carnegie would eventually donate the money in the early 1900s to help branch out the public library into 65 other locations, but this building was meant to the center of it all."

"It's so peaceful," Jane whispered.

Maura smiled. "I used to love coming here when I was a kid. My fath…." She abruptly stopped the sentence before she finished it. "Come on, let's get going. I want you to take in one more sight before we call it a night."

Jane considered pushing Maura about what she was going to say but knew it was about her father so she decided to let it go. Today had been a good day and Jane didn't want to pull Maura into a dark place if she wasn't willing to go there yet. So, she just nodded and followed her friend.

Their last stop on the sight-seeing tour was Times Square. It had gotten dark enough outside that Jane got the full effect of the lights, sounds and energy of this small piece of Manhattan. Jane and Maura stood in the middle of it and Jane couldn't help but smile. She loved Boston. It was home, but in that moment, she couldn't help but be impressed with this part of New York. The lights, billboards, sounds and people all combined to completely overwhelm the senses and it took Jane's breath away. They lingered a bit taking it all in but eventually decided to call it a night.

On the cab ride back to the penthouse Jane noticed Maura had grown quiet and was staring out the window. They didn't say much to each other until they got into Maura's suite.

"Would you like something to drink? I had the concierge get some beer for you," Maura stated.

"A beer would be great, thanks."

Maura opened up a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass and got a beer from the refrigerator for Jane. The two ladies made their way into the living room and settled in on the couch. Both sipped their beverages in silence for a few minutes. Jane again found herself in the position of not wanting to be the first to speak.

"You must be exhausted Jane," Maura said with concern in her voice. "You never did sleep last night did you?"

"Not really on the sleep side. And I'm tired but not exhausted."

Maura seemed to consider this and the silence returned. She liked the comfort of silence with Jane. It felt as safe as anything she could remember. After a few minutes, Maura stirred. "Come on, let's go to bed."

Jane nodded. "Got a guest room for a tired detective?"

"Yes," Maura said but Jane detected a bit of sadness in her voice.

"Or, would you like a bed-mate for the night?" They had, on many occasions, shared a bed when one or the other just couldn't bring herself to fall asleep alone. Jane sensed that Maura was in that very state.

"A bed-mate if you wouldn't mind."

"I wouldn't mind at all."

They both got up and Jane excused herself to the guest room to get ready for bed. She joined Maura a few minutes later and claimed her side of the bed. They settled in and Maura turned down the lights. They both laid there and looked up at the ceiling.

"Thank you for today Jane."

"Considering you were my tour guide, shouldn't it be me thanking you?"

"I didn't mean that part."

"What part did you mean?"

"I meant for letting me go on and on about things that had nothing to do with me. You haven't pushed me about anything all day and I'm grateful for that. So thank you."

"We all need a break from time to time. I figured today was a break day for you."

Maura nodded. "Will tomorrow be a break day too?"

"Tomorrow will be whatever you need it to be. I'm not here to force anything from you. We will go at your pace on all of this, I promise."

Maura nestled in closer to Jane, resting her head on Jane's shoulder instead of her pillow. "Good night Jane."

"Good night Maura."

Jane was just starting to drift off to sleep when Maura startled her slightly. "Jane?"

"Yes…"

"Don't let tomorrow be a break day."

**A/N Sorry if it feels like this chapter rambled a bit, but I wanted to take the ladies through NYC a bit. Felt they needed to take advantage of being out of Boston and I do think that sometimes people just need a mental break day from time to time. And as for the 9/11 reference I just don't know to be in that city and not at least acknowledge the tragedy. More to come- should make good progress over the weekend. As always- review graciously accepted and appreciated.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Jane stirred and lazily rolled over to stretch. She had slept hard and had a feeling she hadn't moved all night. She knew she was going to be a little stiff but was thankful for the sound rest she had gotten. As she stretched, she moved her left arm and hand over to where Maura should have been but the space was empty. She let her arm rest on the spot and it felt cold. Jane wondered what time it was rolled back over to get a look at the clock on the night stand.

7:14 flashed at her. Jane knew that was late enough that she should get up so begrudgingly she rolled up into a seated position. She rubbed her hands over her eyes and tried to shake off the rest of the sleep. She took in a deep breath and the first whiff of coffee attracted her attention. Almost hypnotically she got up to follow the aroma.

She staggered into the kitchen and found the coffee made and awaiting her consumption. She grabbed a cup and poured. She stood in the kitchen for a few minutes letting the sips of coffee start to work their magic on her overall level of alertness. Eventually, she made her way into the living room to look for Maura.

She rounded the corner and had expected to find Maura either in the living room or on the terrace. But she wasn't in either place. Jane looked around a few of the other rooms but didn't find her. "Maura?" she called out but was not greeted with any response.

She walked back towards the living room and sat down on the couch. As she glanced around the room, she eyes settled on a tri-folded document sitting on the coffee table. Jane had seen it once before, two nights ago. It was the lawyer paperwork from Phillip. Jane wanted to reach for the papers for a more thorough review. She paused for a second contemplating if she should overtly invade Maura's privacy. In the end, curiosity got the best of Jane.

As she flipped through the pages, anger started to build up within her. How could he do this to his daughter? Jane had never met the man so she only had what Maura and Constance had told her about Phillip Isles to work with. Until two nights ago she had thought he was a little distant and generally selfish with a history of putting his needs ahead of the family but Jane had assumed he loved Maura. Maura had spoken of him with love and care. He clearly had issues with showing affection but then again so did Constance.

But this? This was different. This was cold and cruel to disown his daughter without as much as a warning. Jane couldn't imagine how hurt Maura must have been when she was confronted with Phillip's dismissal. And again a wave of anger washed over her. Maura hadn't deserved any of this.

Jane flipped through the pages of the document. It was full of cold, legalize that made what it was intended to do seem normal, routine even. As Jane scrolled through the pages she was surprised by some of the content. There were paragraphs outlining the handling of Maura's trust fund and inheritance. There were paragraphs dealing with multiple real estate holdings with lists of which would stay with Phillip and which would be signed over to Maura. There were several paragraphs dealing with charities that Maura was part of the Board of Directors and how that was to be addressed.

Jane was stunned. Not at the money or property. Jane had long since assumed Maura was a very wealthy woman. She knew some wealth came from the Isles family but Jane also knew that Maura was wealthy independent of the Isles family fortune. What stunned Jane was how clean Phillip was trying to make the break. _This is cleaner than most divorce settlements, _Jane thought. Could it really be this easy for him? Did he just consider this a divorce, divide up property and charities and just simply walk away?

She was about to place the document back down when her finger flipped and exposed the last page up slightly and something caught Jane's eye. She flipped over all the pages to look at the last page. There was Phillip's signature about halfway down the left hand side of the page. But his signature wasn't what caught Jane's eye. She was staring at the signature of her best friend just opposite that of Phillip's. Maura had signed the papers. Jane just stared in disbelief.

"Oh Maura," Jane sighed.

Maura entered the apartment about twenty minutes later. She was in running shorts and a top and clearly had been out running.

"Hey, have a nice run?" Jane asked.

"You're awake? You were dead to the world this morning. I tried to wake you to see if you wanted to join me but I couldn't get you to even move. And yes, I had a nice run through the park."

"Yeah, I think I did a good job getting caught back up on some sleep. Sorry you had to run alone though."

"Don't worry about that. It was good for me. The endorphins from running help me clear my head." Maura made a move to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. "Do you want breakfast?"

"No, not really. I'm good with coffee for right now. Thanks."

"OK. I'm going to get cleaned up."

Maura made her way to the bathroom and started the water for the shower. Running did usually make her feel better. She could hit that runner's high pretty early into a run and that let her mind wander over the topics that would be unresolved. Currently, she had more than she could juggle. She wished the jog had gotten her to a place where she felt she had some resolution on at least a few issues but that wasn't the case. She couldn't seem to settle on much of anything over the past few weeks. She stepped into the shower and let the water wash over her.

While Maura was in the shower, Jane grabbed her cell phone and stepped out on the terrace. She made the first of two calls.

"Jane, how's Maura?" was the first thing from Frost. She smiled at the concern she heard in his voice. She was lucky to have him as a partner.

"Day to day right now. She has some pretty big personal issues to work through. But I think she'll be ok."

"When are you guys coming back to Boston?"

"That's completely up to Maura. I think we'll be here at least a couple of more days. Maura only took off a week when she left, so I assume she will want to get back to Boston in time for her to be back to work on Monday. But I'm not completely positive. How are things there? You and Korsak playing nice with one another?"

Frost chuckled. "We are fine. Don't tell him I said this, but I learn a lot from the old man. _WE_ are still partners though, so don't you go running off on me permanently."

Jane smiled, "Oh, you can't get rid of me that easily. I'll be back when it's right for Maura to come back. In the meantime, I need another don't-tell-anyone favor."

"Name it."

"I need a current location on both Phillip and Constance Isles," Jane said and then released the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"And you can't just ask Maura?"

"No, I can't. And I won't."

"Okay, I'll see what I can find out. Any general idea where to start?"

"Constance was in a rehab facility in Miami, Florida the last I knew but I don't think she is still here. I think she was released last week. Phillip has an office at New York University but I believe he was on a college speaking tour promoting his latest book. I thought he was out of the country but he was in Boston two weeks ago. I don't know if he went back on the road. Sorry I don't have more. I really need to know where they both are Frost."

"I'll get right on it. I'll call you when I find them."

"Can you just text me when you have it?"

"Ok. You really don't want Maura to know you are looking for them, do you?"

"She doesn't need to know this right now," and Jane left it at that. "Thanks Frost. I owe you a beer when we get back."

Jane scrolled down the phone and highlighted a name, hitting send. "Hey Ma."

"Jane! I've been waiting for your call."

Jane looked at the time. It was only 8:00 am. "Ma, I said I'd call every day but come on. It's only 8 am. You can't tell me you are already worried about us this morning."

"Don't you tell your mother she can't be worried about you just because it is morning. I am worried about you both and I will continue to worry about you both until one of you tells me what is going on!"

"I told you yesterday Ma, that will have to be something Maura decides to tell you or not," talking to her mother could give Jane a headache in no time flat.

"Well, how is she doing?" Jane's chest tightened a bit as Angela dropped the Mom-outrage and cranked up the Mom-worry in her tone.

"I think she is better today than yesterday. And that's all I can ask for right now. It's complicated and unfortunately there aren't any easy answers or solutions."

"Is she eating? Are you? Are you both sleeping?"

"Yes, we both are eating and sleeping. Ma, I promise we are both safe. "

"When are you coming home?"

Jane knew she had to give Angela something, "Maura is set to go back to work on Monday. I expect at this point that she will make that return."

Jane heard her mother sigh a bit of relief. Jane was pretty sure Angela was thinking they both might not be coming back ever. "Oh. Ok, I can work with that. See, that's all I needed to be told yesterday Miss Cryptic."

Jane shook her head. There was the headache. "Ma, really?"

"I'm just saying you could have told me."

"I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow. And I'll try to get Maura to call you to check in later today, ok."

That pacified Angela even more. "Don't you force her Jane! But I'm here for her if she needs me."

"Bye Ma."

Even with the headache, Jane was silently thankful to have Angela as her mother.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Maura had finished getting cleaned up and joined Jane on the terrace. She looked over at the cell phone that was in Jane's hand. "How's Angela doing today?"

Jane let out a heavy sigh. "She's still pouting. And she's worried about you."

Maura nodded. She was silent for a minute. "I should call her. You shouldn't have to take the brunt of her all by yourself. You are here because of me in the first place. Besides, I should thank her for worrying about me. "

"Maura, she doesn't need to be thanked for worrying about you. She loves you. Her worry for you is just going to happen. It's the price you pay for admission to the Rizzoli family," Jane said with nothing but compassion in her tone. "But, if you feel up to it, you really should call her later."

Jane sat back and looked at her friend. Maura looked better rested but there was still such a sadness etched across her face. _Don't let tomorrow be a break day. _Maura had asked that of her last night. Jane instinctively knew that was Maura's way of asking for Jane to push her a little harder than she had to this point. Jane, in fact, had not pushed Maura to talk about anything up to this point.

Jane stood up from the chair she had been sitting in and walked over to the railing. She turned and allowed herself to lean back against it. This allowed her to look at Maura. She went to say something but hesitated. She paused and tried it again. And again she hesitated.

Maura picked up on Jane's hesitations. "What Jane?"

Jane looked at her friend. "There are things I want to ask you but I don't where the boundaries on this are."

"Jane, I have no boundaries with you. You can ask me anything you want," there was such frankness in her voice as she said that.

_Don't let tomorrow be a break day. _It was resonating in Jane's head. She took a deep breath and decided to ask.

"Why did you run away from me?"

Maura did a double take. It wasn't the question she was expecting Jane to ask. She stared back at Jane and noticed the hurt that was buried behind the question. "I….um…," she started but didn't quite know how to answer.

Jane was a little surprised. That hadn't been the question she was going to lead with but it just managed to come out. Looking at Maura struggling for an answer, she now regretted putting it out there. The last thing she was trying to do was cause Maura more grief. "I'm sorry Maura. That was selfish of me to ask. Forget I said anything," she said and she dropped her gaze down to her feet.

Maura leaned forward in the chair she was sitting still trying to formulate the answer she wanted to give to Jane. There was an answer for the question but Maura was trying to figure out if she had the courage to actually say it. Part of her wanted to but part of her felt too weak to answer. She knew she could get out of the question. Jane was already trying to take it back. But, she would never be able to erase the fact that Jane had to ask in the first place. If she was smart, she would take the chance and give the real answer. But, was she smart enough? She was about to find out.

"Jane, it's not a selfish question. And it's a question that you have every right to ask. I just don't know if I can give you an answer that will make any sense."

"Can you at least try? And maybe selfish is a bad way to phrase it. Unfair is more like it. For me, of all people, to ask a question about why someone ran away; that's definitely unfair. But that's just the thing. Of the two of us, I'm the one who runs away from things. Not you. But you ran and I really wish I knew why."

Jane's stark honesty about her own habit of running surprised Maura. "You haven't run from anything in quite some time Jane."

"I used to. I used to run all the time."

"Do you remember why?" Maybe Maura could work through an explanation using Jane's own experiences as a starting point.

Jane took a breath. She had started this conversation so she owed it to the both of them to see it through. "I used to believe I wasn't good enough for anyone to deal with any of my issues. That I wasn't worthy of anyone's time or love."

"But you stopped running somewhere along the way didn't you. " Jane only nodded a yes. "Do you know what changed?"

"It was you. You somehow got past all the walls I had put up and made me believe that maybe, just maybe, I deserved to have someone care for me. I let myself…. trust you. Trust us." Jane let one thing go unsaid not sure how to express it or if Maura wanted to hear it.

"I think I ran because that's close to where I suddenly found myself. These last few months have been so taxing for me. For years I had a firm grasp on who I thought I was. Then Doyle and Hope and what happened to my mother. When my father announced that he was cutting me out of his life, it was like the last piece of what I was holding on to just severed.

"It felt like everything came crashing down on me. All the things I thought I knew, thought I could count on seemed to have vanished. I can't completely explain how it felt but I found myself feeling worthless and alone. With everything that had happened, I started to believe I deserved to be alone. "

"You're not alone Maura. You have me."

"I know. And I knew that last week, too. But that only made things harder for me. Somewhere something within me didn't believe I deserved to have you, or anyone for that matter, in my life. I couldn't get myself to reach out to you, to talk to you about what had happened. I didn't think I deserved to have you make me feel better. So I started to avoid you.

"I am sorry about that Jane. But when I was around you I found myself wanting to tell you what was going on and I just couldn't. And seeing your mother, your family, the family that had taken me in as one of yours, I really couldn't deal with that. It just felt wrong. I didn't deserve it. I hadn't earned it. I was meant to be alone so I backed away from you all.

"When you picked up on the fact that there was something wrong, I knew you wouldn't let it rest. I knew you would continue to push me until I broke and told you and I couldn't find the words to explain why I just wasn't worth the effort and concern. So, I thought if I took off for a while I could get my head in a better place and maybe find a way to still be around for you without staying too much in your life."

That last point startled Jane. Was she really in danger of losing her? "Ok Maura, that's now the second time I've heard you talk about feeling worthless and that you deserved to be alone. I can't stand to hear that come from you again." She moved closer and took hold of Maura's hands and stared directly into her eyes. "Listen to me. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be cared for and have people in your life who love you. What you don't deserve is what Phillip is trying to do to you. You have to fight for what you want."

"I fight."

"You are fighting all the wrong things. You are fighting me. You are fighting the people who care about you instead of fighting back against the man that has hurt you. You are just letting him walk all over you and your reaction is to run from the ones with whom you should be seeking shelter."

"I'm not letting him walk all over me," but there was no force behind those words.

"Maura, you didn't even put up a fight with him. You signed the papers. You have let him just win."

Maura had a shocked look across her face. Jane knew she signed the dissolution agreement. She dropped her eyes and stared down at her feet. Jane gently placed her hand under Maura's chin and tilted her head back up so she could see into Maura's eyes.

"Don't give in that quickly. Don't just give up. There are things I'm sure you want and need to say to him. Don't just make this all neat and clean. That's letting him have what he wants. Fight this, Maura."

"Jane, you didn't see the look in his eyes or hear the tone of his voice. He has made his decision."

"So what! Maybe his mind is made up. Maybe you can't change it. But you haven't even tried. You are just conceding that he is right, that you deserve to be thrown out of a life that is yours. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't just throw that away without even trying to fight for it. If he won't change his stance, at least you won't spend the rest of your life wondering whether or not you could have said or done something to make him change his mind.

"Or maybe if you talk to him you'll decide that what he did was wrong and cruel and that you want him out of your life. But then, this separation will be because it's what you want not something that he just did to you. I don't have the answers about this Maura. This ultimately comes down to you and him but I foresee nothing but continued heartache and regret for you if you just resign yourself to this without at least trying to speak to him again."

Neither said anything for a few minutes. Then Jane broke the silence.

"Maura, where does Constance figure into all of this?"

**A/N Ok, so if you haven't figured it out, I'm starting to lay the foundation for these two realizing that they are more than friends. But, I will warn you that it's not going to be an instant "we love each other" thing so sorry if it feels like I'm dragging it out...but I am sort of and I'm claiming writer's prerogative on that. Sue me :)**

**Also, it's time to handle the Constance end of this story- and trust me when I say I think you will all be happy with how I work through that. **

**Continued thanks for your feedback, interest and patience...**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"I don't know," was all Maura offered up.

"You don't know?" Jane was confused. How could Maura not know? "Maura?"

"I haven't spoken with her since my father started all of this. I tried calling her several times but she didn't answer her phone. And she hasn't returned any of my messages. So, I don't know if she knows what he is doing and agrees or if she doesn't know anything yet. He told me not to speak to her and that he would handle that conversation, but for right now I don't know what she knows."

As if on cue, Jane's cell phone buzzed its vibration once and then twice. It had been sitting on a patio table next to Maura. Maura picked it up and handed it to Jane. Jane, however, made no move to check the message.

"Aren't you going to check that?"

"Whatever it is, it can wait. You know I tried calling Constance last week too and I didn't get an answer."

"You called?"

"Yes. Right after I got your note and the Sox tickets I was trying to figure everything out. The parts of your note about family made me think it was either something with Doyle or one of your mothers. I checked on all of the files and visit logs for Doyle and didn't see anything that made me believe something new had occurred so I ruled him out. I wasn't sure about trying to contact Hope given all that had happened with you two so I tried getting in touch with Constance to see if she had any insight.

"I couldn't remember if she had been released from that rehab facility in Florida yet. I got her number from Ma and tried it but it went straight to voicemail. I left a message but she never called me back. And when I figured out where you were from your cell phone records I stopped trying to look for her. And honestly it had never occurred to me to try your father."

Jane's phone buzzed and vibrated again. "Jane, you should really check those. That's three messages now. It could be important. Why don't you look at those and I'm going to call Angela." With that Maura walked into the suite and towards her bedroom.

Jane nodded and pulled up the messages. The first two were from Frost. The third was from Frankie.

_Constance in NY- Isles residence 944 5__th__ Ave near Central Park_

The second read:

_Phillip in same location. Has a flight for San Francisco booked for Monday 9 am_

She then scrolled to read Frankie's text:

_U ok sis? How's Maura?_

Jane sent back a thank you text to Frost for both pieces of information. She then typed out a response for Frankie.

_I'm ok. Maura is better. Probably home by Monday_

She sat down. So both Maura's parents are in New York. Interesting. Jane stared out over the park as she waited for Maura to rejoin her.

Maura went into her room and pulled out her cell phone. She scrolled through her contacts, found Angela's number and highlighted it. She settled herself into a chair in the corner of room and released to deep breath. She hit send on the phone and waited for the matriarch of the Rizzoli clan to pick up her phone. It wasn't a long wait. Angela answered on the first ring making Maura believe the phone had been in her hand when it rang.

"Maura! Oh honey, are you ok?"

The compassion and concern in Angela's tone was undeniable and Maura immediately felt both lucky for her concerns and guilty for making her worry. "Angela, please calm down. I'm sorry I've caused you to worry."

"I worry about all my kids. And that includes you. But are you ok? Jane won't tell me anything. I don't even know where you both are or what's going on. I've been imagining the worst here. At least tell me you aren't sick."

"Angela, hold on. I'm not sick. Jane and I are both ok. And don't be mad at Jane for not telling you anything. She is just trying to protect me."

"I know, I know. But you both just disappeared. And I should have known something was wrong when we stopped having coffee in the morning. I didn't pick up on it. Jane did but I didn't. I just thought you were busy. I should have realized something was wrong much sooner and found you or told Jane sooner. I mean it was a whole week before anyone pieced together that you were in trouble. I'm so sorry."

In that moment, Maura finally understood what Jane had meant by the term Hurricane Angela. She had seen this side of Angela before but it had been focused on Jane or Frankie. This was the first time she was the focus of the hurricane and she now could truly appreciate what Jane meant by the term. There was such love behind what Angela was saying that Maura was overwhelmed and she started to cry. She tried to hold back the tears but it was no use.

Angela heard the low sob and a whimper from Maura. It frightened her. "Maura? Honey? Please don't cry."

Maura sniffed and tried to say something but got choked up in the words. Then she heard Angela quietly start to hum. She wasn't sure what she was humming but it was incredibly soothing. As she strained to listen, her sobs slowed down and her breathing returned to normal. Angela possessed the magical touch even over a phone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down and cry," Maura said after she finally pulled her emotions in check. "I was calling to help make you not worry so much but I don't think I've managed to do that."

"Do you want to talk about it at all?"

"It's all so complicated. I really can't get into all the details right now. But, it's…there's…it's just an issue with my parents."

"Is Constance ok? Did something happen with her health?"

"No, it's not that. It's my father actually. We sort of had a falling out."

"What on Earth could anyone fight about with you? You are like the perfect daughter." Angela had meant that to be a compliment. However, it made Maura start crying again. "Oh, I'm sorry Maura. I should just stop talking. I'm not helping you right now. Please, don't cry."

"No, don't feel bad Angela. I've been crying at the drop of a hat lately. I'm sorry. You are just trying to help and I love you for that. But, are you ok if I don't get into a lot of details right now? I don't think I can go through it all right now."

"Sure, honey, sure. I don't need details. I just need to know you are being taken care of. Is Jane helping you out?"

"Yes, she's been amazing. You really should be proud of how you raised her you know. I know she acts all tough and badass but underneath that exterior is a woman with a huge heart. I really don't know what I'd do right now if I didn't have her."

"To be honest with you Maura, you are the first person outside her family I have ever seen get through all the barriers she has created. I've never seen anyone get as close to her as she lets you get. Part of me stopped worrying a bit when I knew she was with you because I know she will do anything to protect you."

"I'm blessed to have her as my best friend."

There was a pause and then Angela said something to Maura that Maura could hardly believe. Something she could not even respond to.

"I need to go Angela. Please don't worry about us. We both should be home by Sunday. I'll make sure Jane calls you again in the morning."

"Maura, if there is anything you need I'm just a phone call away."

"Thank you. I do know that and I'm grateful for it."

Maura ended the call but couldn't bring herself to leave her room quite yet. She had been rattled by what Angela had said and needed a minute to recover.

She wasn't sure how much time has passed when there was a knock on the bedroom door. "Maura? Are you ok?"

"You can come in Jane," she answered.

Jane slowly opened the door and looked in. Maura was sitting in the chair in the corner. Jane stepped into the room and asked again, "Are you ok?" She could tell Maura had been crying. _Nice job, Ma! _

"I think I finally have a full appreciation for why you label your mother Hurricane."

That comment made Jane smile. "She is a handful. You'd better not ever get physically injured because that takes it to a whole new level. But it comes from love so what can you do?" Jane paused and inched a bit closer. "She got to you, huh?"

"A little. But like you said, it comes from love."

"Hey, let's get out of here for a bit. Let's take a walk. Get something for lunch maybe?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

They headed out and took a walk through the park. Neither said much of anything and neither seemed to mind that the conversation was at a minimum. Neither felt like a big lunch so they settled on a hot dog from a street vendor. They continued to wander around the park.

At some point Maura became vaguely aware that Jane was steering the direction they were walking. She really didn't think much about it until Jane suddenly stopped and looked at Maura.

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust that I wouldn't deliberately hurt you and that I only want what's best for you?"

"Yes Jane, why are you asking me this."

In response, Jane just pointed to something. Maura followed the direction of Jane's arm and immediately knew where they had ended up. She found herself standing across the street from her parent's home.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N I think you all should enjoy the next few chapters as things in the Isles family are about to come to a head. I will at the outset here apologize for what is truly my personal bad habit. If you haven't picked up on it in 21 chapters- you'll sure to see it here. I am the master of sentence fragments. Sorry. But it's how I talk and think and it appears it is how I also write. My junior high school English teachers are all rolling over in their graves- so I should at least note that I was taught better at some point in my life. But alas- my brain didn't retain it the right way. Enjoy- and as always reviews are appreciated.**

Chapter 22

It had been a risky move and Jane was in no way sure it was the right thing to be trying to do. But, they were here and now she waited for Maura to do something. Anything other than just stare at the building. Flinch. Blink. Scream. Cry. Run. Something. Anything. _Be patient, _she thought to herself. _Maybe this was too much too soon._

And then, something came. "How did you know where he lives?"

"You do seem to forget that I am a pretty good detective at the oddest times Maura."

"I guess I do."

And then nothing again.

And then something came again. "Is he home?"

"Right at this second? I don't know. But he is in town. So is your mother. He flies out for San Francisco on Monday morning."

Over the years Jane felt like she had become familiar with most of the looks that would come across Maura's face. The time they spent together gave Jane an insight into how Maura processed information, situations and even emotions. But in this moment, she could not read Maura at all. There was nothing. No way to tell if she had made a huge mistake or if she was on the right path. _Give me something to work with here Maura._

Maura went to say something but stopped. Instead, she took Jane by the hand and headed towards the building. She paused only long enough to wait for the traffic signal to indicate that it was safe to cross the street. Jane, for her part, was now absolutely afraid to say a word in fear of stopping whatever plan Maura was hatching.

Maura paused outside the building. Jane could feel Maura's trembling from underneath the hand she was still holding. Slowly, Maura released Jane's hand and moved towards the front door of the building. She turned just enough to indicate to Jane that she should continue to follow her.

As they both approached the building, a doorman came from out of nowhere and started to pull the door open. He soon realized who was walking up the entry way.

"Why Dr. Isles! It is so good to see you!" was the emphatic greeting Maura received from the doorman. "This is an unexpected pleasure."

"Hello Charlie. How are you?" Jane was thrown by how calm and steady Maura's voice was when she greeted the doorman.

"Can't really complain. Wouldn't do me any good even if I did. How's my favorite doctor these days?"

"I'm just fine thank you. Charlie, this is my friend Jane. Jane, this is Charlie."

"Ma'am." Charlie greeted Jane with formality.

"Charlie," was all Jane threw out there.

"Charlie, are my parents home?"

"Well, your blessed Mother, and thank God she is recovering nicely from that terrible accident, is out right now. Had some appointment downtown. But your father is up in the suite. Should I announce you?"

"Uh, no. That won't be necessary. I think I'd like to surprise him."

Charlie nodded his approval. "That, Dr. Isles, sounds like a plan."

Maura walked forward and pulled Jane along. When they were completely into the lobby Maura turned and looked at Jane. The look on Maura's face was complete determination. Determined to do what, Jane was not sure.

Maura waved Charlie back over. "Charlie, will you do me a favor?"

"You name it Doc."

"I need to run up and speak with my father for a few minutes. Can you find Jane here a comfortable place to wait for me? Make sure she's not bothered?"

"Absolutely! Miss Jane, I have just the place for you to relax."

Jane was slower than Maura and it took her a second to catch up. Maura was going up but she was going up alone. "Can you give us just one second Charlie?"

"Oh, yes ma'am," said Charlie and he discreetly backed away.

"Are you sure?" This was the first time Jane had said anything directly to Maura since she had lead her to the building.

"It's now or never. Can you just wait down here for me?"

"Sure. " Jane took hold of Maura's hand one more time and squeezed it as encouragingly as she could. Turning to Charlie, "I'm all yours Charlie."

Charlie stepped forward and began to direct Jane deeper into the lobby. Jane's eyes, however, never left Maura. The last thing Jane saw before she let Charlie steer her completely around a corner was the elevator doors closing and Maura hitting a button.

"Charlie, is there any place where I can wait so I can still see the elevators. I don't want to make Dr. Isles have to come looking for me when she's ready to go."

"Oh sure, I have just the spot for you. Now, can I get you something to drink? Eat? Read? Anything?"

"No, Charlie, I'm fine thank you."

"It's no trouble Miss Jane. Doctor Isles will be upset with me if I don't take care of you."

"Really Charlie, I'm fine. Just make sure I get a good view of the lobby and the elevator and I'll tell Dr. Isles you pampered me the whole time I was in your care."

That produced an ear to ear grin on Charlie's face. "Deal. Right this way."

Jane situated herself in a chair facing the elevators and felt herself virtually hold her breath. She could do nothing but wait now.

The elevator stopped and Maura stepped out. She was shocked that Jane had found where her parents stayed when in New York. She hadn't expected Jane to push her in this direction. But, as she stood looking at the outside of the building, something Jane had said to her that morning came flooding back.

"_Listen to me. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be cared for and have people in your life who love you. What you don't deserve is what Phillip is trying to do to you. You have to fight for what you want."_

"_I fight."_

"_You are fighting all the wrong things. You are fighting me. You are fighting the people who care about you instead of fighting back against the man that has hurt you. You are just letting him walk all over you and your reaction is to run from the ones with whom you should be seeking shelter."_

"_I'm not letting him walk all over me." _

"_Maura, you didn't even put up a fight with him. You signed the papers. You have let him just win."_

"_Don't give in that quickly. Don't just give up. There are things I'm sure you want and need to say to him. Don't just make this all neat and clean. That's letting him have what he wants. Fight this, Maura."_

"_Jane, you didn't see the look in his eyes or hear the tone of his voice. He has made his decision."_

"_So what! Maybe his mind is made up. Maybe you can't change it. But you haven't even tried. You are just conceding that he is right, that you deserve to be thrown out of a life that is yours. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't just throw that away without even trying to fight for it. If he won't change his stance, at least you won't spend the rest of your life wondering whether or not you could have said or done something to make him change his mind._

"_Or maybe if you talk to him you'll decide that what he did was wrong and cruel and that you want him out of your life. But then, this separation will be because it's what you want not something that he just did to you. I don't have the answers about this Maura. This ultimately comes down to you and him but I foresee nothing but continued heartache and regret for you if you just resign yourself to this without at least trying to speak to him again."_

Jane had been right. She hadn't even tried to fight back. She never got more than two or three words out before her father walked out the door like the entire matter was settled. And she had just signed the dissolution paperwork because it was expected by him that she would do just that.

As she had stood in front the building staring up that the home that honestly didn't carry many loving memories for her, she realized she was better than all of this. She was a good person and she deserved much better than she had been given in life from her parents. She deserved to loved and cared for and be shown affection.

It dawned on her that she was already loved and cared for by a remarkable family. Her family. Jane, Angela, Frankie, Tommy, Vince, Barry. That was her family. If her father, and even her mother for that matter, couldn't find the love in their hearts to stand by her when times were tough then she didn't need them. She had people in her life that no longer let her stand alone.

The Rizzoli clan hadn't run from her or judged her when it came to light who her biological father was. In fact, one, or quite possibly all three as Maura had at one time suspected, of them had gone against all the ethical, legal and moral codes they had lived by and had communicated with a killer in order to try to protect her. Korsak, Frost or Jane had made that call to Doyle. And although it used to cause her heartache and pain, thinking about it now Maura realized that action had come from love and that made her feel so supported and protected. It was a realization she hadn't ever experience before in her life. But she had now and she knew she was forever changed because of it.

Changed in a good way. Changed in the sense that she would no longer find distant and cold interactions with her family acceptable. Changed in the sense that she wanted the Hurricane in her life and all that it entailed. Changed in the sense that she was now willing to finally see that not only should she want it but that she deserved to settle for nothing less than unconditional love.

The strength she pulled from knowing that no matter what she was no longer alone made her want to confront her father. In that moment, she no longer doubted who she was. She no longer doubted her life or how things had turned out. In that moment downstairs, she was just Maura and she was completely comfortable with who that person was.

She stepped up to the door and knocked. It was time to introduce her father to his only daughter for maybe the one and only time he would get the pleasure of seeing her again.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Maura had been gone only a matter of minutes and Jane was already fidgeting. The wait was going to be excruciating. She started to scroll through messages on her phone but that didn't take long. She pulled up a few websites but not even ESPN could hold her attention. Her eyes darted to the elevator doors every time she saw or heard anything. Jane was naturally an impatient person but she felt like this was complete torture. She just wanted to be there to support her friend. She felt helpless sitting in a lobby.

She had started to absentmindedly rub the scar on her left hand when she heard Charlie.

"Ah, welcome back Mrs. Isles. Let me get that door for you."

Jane's eyes darted up immediately and she caught sight of Constance slowly making her way into the lobby. Even from afar Jane could tell that her recovery had been going well. Her hair had grown back in and there wasn't much trace of any scarring around her head. She was her usual high society fashioned self in an elegant black suit. She walked slowly with a slight limp and used a cane but wasn't completely dependent upon it to move about. She had made considerable strides with her rehab and Jane assumed that her time in Florida had been well spent.

_Maura! _Jane immediately panicked. She didn't know if she should let Maura take on both parents at once or intervene with Constance. Maura had gone upstairs expecting only Phillip and Jane didn't know if she was ready to confront Constance to. Jane had about ten seconds to make a decision. So she made one.

Constance, for her part, was completely shocked to see Jane walk out from around the corner in the lobby.

"Jane?"

"Good afternoon Constance. You are looking well." It was a strained greeting. Jane didn't know what, if anything, Constance knew about what Phillip had done to Maura but she was bitter none the less.

"Thank you. I'm doing much better. What are you doing here?"

Jane twisted her body and pointed to the elevators, "Maura is up speaking with your husband."

"Maura's here? In New York?" And she smiled. A smile Jane would expect to see on Angela's face if Jane had made an unexpected visit to see her. _Maybe she has no idea what is going on after all._

"Yes. In New York and upstairs right now. I'm just waiting for her."

"Why are you waiting down here? Good Heavens where are her manners? She should have invited you up," she said and started to make a move for the elevators.

"Maura and your husband needed to speak in private. I'm giving her the space she needs."

"Private? Why? Is something wrong? Has something happened to her?" Panic and concern was etched all across Constance's face. Jane immediately felt guilty for her bluntness.

"Can we sit and talk for a minute? I mean, come on, standing can't be much of a picnic for you right now." Jane motioned to the sitting area she had previously occupied. "I really need to speak with you."

"Well, yes. I should probably sit down. I can get around pretty well but I do tire out easily." She slowly followed Jane to the chairs and sat down. "Now, what's this all about? I know you called me last week and I'm sorry I haven't managed to return the call. But with leaving Florida and trying to get settled back in here I haven't had a minute to myself. Is something wrong?"

"Do you have any idea why Maura is here? "

"In New York? Or speaking to her father?"

"Well, either."

"No. I would assume she is on a vacation. Maybe she came to check up on me?"

Jane shook her head. "I assure you Constance, this is not a vacation."

"Jane, now you are scaring me. Tell what is going on with my daughter," her tone getting more forceful.

"I'll tell you what is going on with your daughter if you can explain to me what the hell is going with your husband." It was out before Jane could stop it. And interestingly enough, she didn't even feel bad about it. Damn it she wanted answers.

Constance was taken aback. "I don't know what you are talking about. What do you mean what is going with Phillip? I think you owe me an explanation Detective."

"The only explanation that is needed here Constance is how your husband could be so cruel and insensitive as to attempt to throw Maura out of both his life and yours. She's devastated! Your husband is trying to disown her. Why would he do such a thing?" Jane didn't even notice the tears starting to fall down her cheeks. "How could he hurt her like this?"

"What?" Constance stared at Jane with disbelief. "He….," she started to shake her head. "He…," She tried to collect herself. "Oh my God! Maura!" Tears filled in her eyes and she reached forward and took Jane's hands. This startled Jane as usually no one but Maura or her mother could touch her hands. "I didn't….this wasn't…I would never….." She just couldn't finish a sentence.

Suddenly, she grabbed Jane and pulled her upright. "Come on." And she moved faster than Jane thought possible given her injuries. But they were in the elevator in no time flat.

Upstairs, Phillip had opened the door and been greeted by a mad but in control Maura. As soon as he had opened the door she had pushed straight passed him and walked into the living room.

"Maura, I don't want to see you. Please leave."

"Oh, I'll leave once I've had my say. You had your turn in Boston. Now it's my turn. And you will listen to me. You owe me that much. I'll say my peace and then I'll leave but you will listen." It was an even, confident, controlled tone. One she reserved for more professional situations than in her personal life.

It had its desired effect. Phillip looked a bit stunned but made no indication of walking away. Apparently he was at least going to hear her out.

"How dare you do this to me! How dare you dismiss me like you tried to do! What gives you the right?"

Phillip went to say something but Maura held up her hand.

"Just shut up! I'm not finished talking yet. My whole life I have tried to earn your love. I have tried to live up to what I thought was your image of the perfect daughter. I bent over backwards trying to make you proud of me because I foolishly figured that if you were proud of the person I was becoming that you would eventually love me. Truly love me.

"But you, you aren't capable of love. Are you? You don't love me. I don't even think you love Mother. You, you love yourself. You love your life, your career, your precious reputation. The people in your life don't mean anything to you unless they further your needs or your position or your power. All these years I've wasted yearning to get from you something that was never there to begin with.

"I was just never good enough for you. Because I wasn't yours. I was someone else's. It wouldn't ever really matter who the biological parents had turned out to be. I could have been born from Saints and it still wouldn't have been good enough for you. You never wanted me. You wanted a nice Isles family Christmas card so others could see how fulfilled your life was.

"But it was all a lie. An illusion. Your life isn't fulfilled. Your life is empty because it is missing love. And not because people haven't tried to love you. Because we have tried. I have tried. Your life is empty because you refused to let our love, my love, in and I feel sorry for you.

"My life isn't perfect. Things in my life are messy and confusing and incomplete. But all of this, what you tried to do, did make me realize something. I realized that I'm already so far ahead of most people because I got lucky. I found a family of my own. I found a group of people that chose to care about me and for me not because it elevated them in society but because they just liked me.

"They took me in and showed me what family really means. Love, acceptance, forgiveness. That's family. And I have one. But it's not with you. So, your attempt to take my family away from me, well it isn't going to work. I never had it from you in the first place. I can't lose what I never had with you. So, keep it. I'll take the one I have now and I'll be the better for it.

"I'm sorry I never lived up to what you pictured. I'm sorry you spent years feeling like you had to give excuses for me and the choices that I made. But I'm not sorry for how I turned out. I'm proud of who I am and what I do. I am sorry you are unwilling to be a part of it. But that's your choice.

"But you have to know that you didn't live up to your end of the deal either. You were not the father you wanted to be. You weren't the father I needed you to be. You were not that perfect parent that your friends could be jealous of. In fact, I'm not even sure of what kind of man you turned out to be…."

"That's an interesting point and I think I'd like an answer to that as well, Phillip. Just what kind of man deliberately tries to hurt his own child?"

Maura spun around to see Constance and Jane standing in the doorway.

Constance stared at Phillip, waiting for an answer with a look of disgust on her face. Jane stared at Maura with a look of pride Maura had never seen from Jane before.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Everyone stood still. The tension was so thick it was palpable. No one in the room seemed to know who should speak next, move next. So they all continued to stand where they were. Maura, who had stayed calm but determined throughout the confrontation, found the break in her speech to her father a welcome break. It gave her a chance to catch her breath and run through whether she had anything else to say to him.

Then there was a slow realization that as her mother stood in front of her looking at her father with something close to hatred in her eyes that Constance had not been a part of what Phillip was trying to do. From the look on Constance's face and the nature of the question she posed to him, it was clear that she was not a party to any dissolution. Maura's heart swelled and she felt herself almost give into tears of joy. But she held back. She wasn't going to cry in front of her father. She wasn't going to let him think she was crying for him.

Jane started to feel like an intruder. She shouldn't be here. This was a private family matter. She had been worried about Maura and how she would handle herself but Jane realized she no longer needed to worry. Jane hadn't heard everything Maura had been saying to Phillip but she had heard enough. Enough to be amazed and proud of Maura. That was the Maura Jane loved. Strong, confident and not afraid to speak her mind. Jane felt bad that Maura had to confront her father but she was not only holding her own but she in complete command.

Phillip looked like a wounded animal. He was backed up against a chair and was suddenly dealing with being confronted by three angry females. He had never seen the look on Constance's face directed at him before. In almost an act of defiance, he was the first one to make a move. He stepped forward and attempted to approach Constance.

"Step back Phillip," she said in a flat, even tone.

"Constance," he started but was interrupted.

"That wasn't a rhetorical question. What kind of man hurts his only child? I'm waiting for an answer," Constance's glare at Phillip spoke volumes about where she stood in all of this. If Jane had doubted her before, she didn't doubt her now.

Maura turned her attention to her mother. She hadn't budged and her eyes were locked in on Phillip. Maura was now starting to feel as if she no longer belonged in the room. She had said her peace. Jane had been right. She didn't foresee any circumstance in which she would move forward with Phillip in her life. But this time, it was her choice. She looked over at Jane and knew they were both thinking the same thing.

"Mother, I believe you two," and she motioned over to Phillip, "have some things you need to discuss. We will leave you alone." Maura started walking towards Jane but stopped in front of Constance.

Constance embraced her daughter in a tight hug. "I didn't know," she said in a whisper so only Maura could hear. "I love you."

"I know," Maura whispered back. "We'll talk later. Come by my suite later tonight if you can get away," she kissed her mother's cheek and Constance nodded an acknowledgement. Maura backed away and grabbed Jane's hand and started to head to the door. "Come on, I'm through here."

Neither said anything as they waited for the elevator. Once it arrived and both ladies stepped inside, Jane couldn't be silent anymore. "Are you okay?"

Maura turned to look at her friend and appreciated the concern that was embedded in her tone. "I am. Maybe for the first time since all of this started, I really am," and as she said it a small smile was on her face.

Jane went to grab Maura's hand but paused for a second. Instead of her hand, she quickly embraced her friend in a tight hug. Maura relaxed immediately into the embrace and it wasn't broken until both felt the elevator coming to a stop. Jane backed off only enough so that both could walk off the elevator.

"Come on, let's head back," Maura offered up. They both headed out and nodded in appreciation to Charlie for opening the door.

"You ladies need a cab?"

"No thank you Charlie. I think we will walk."

"Have a nice evening, Doc. Nice to have met you Miss Jane."

"Good bye Charlie," and Maura meant it to be a good bye.

They headed back across the street and started to walk through the park. Jane had inched herself close enough to Maura that they were almost one and walked in step with each other. She slipped her arm around Maura's back and kept it there as they walked. She wanted to make sure Maura felt protected and that she knew she was not alone. Maura made no effort to break the contact that Jane was now showering upon her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jane asked as they walked.

Maura shook her head. "Not yet."

They continued through the park and Jane never took her eyes off Maura. She was watching, waiting to see if there would be some emotional backlash but so far none had come. They made their way back to Maura's suite and didn't separate from each other until they had to walk through the front door.

"Do you think she'll be ok?" Maura asked now showing some signs of concern and regret.

"Constance?"

Maura nodded.

"If there's one thing I've learned about your mother, it's that she can take care of herself. I think they both have things to say but I'm sure she will be fine. No matter what comes next I have faith in her."

"But if she has to choose..." a flash of guilt crossed Maura's eyes.

"Hey, first of all, it was pretty clear to me that she already has chosen. Second, it's for her to decide what happens next, Maura. She will do what's right for her."

"I didn't mean to put her in this position."

"You didn't Maura. Your father did. None of this, and I mean none of this, was your doing. Phillip chose to do this. Now he has to face the consequences. It just might cost him two people who loved him."

They both moved towards the terrace again. Jane stopped in the kitchen to retrieve a beer and a glass of wine for Maura. When she joined Maura on the terrace she handed her the wine. Maura was looking out over the park and lost in her thoughts. Jane, who didn't want to be far away from her, took a seat in one of the chairs.

"I was really proud of you tonight Maura."

"In truth, I was kind of proud of myself too. How much did you hear?"

"I walked in as you were explaining how empty and unfulfilled Phillip's life was. I assume I just missed a few warm up pitches. I heard enough to know you said what you needed to say and again, I'm very proud of you."

Maura returned her gaze out over the park and didn't say anything for awhile. After a minute, Maura turned back to look at Jane.

"How do I begin to thank you?"

"For what?"

"For all of this. For being you. For caring about me. For knowing something was wrong. For finding me. For not pushing when I wasn't ready. For pushing when I was. For supporting me. For everything."

Jane didn't have an immediate answer. She just stared at Maura.

"I'm serious Jane. How do I even start to thank you for what you've done for me?"

"Maura," Jane sighed. She was going to give her the standard answer about not needing thanks and about how this was what you do when you are friends and how she would have done the same thing but instead she said, "You can thank me by never running away from me again."

Maura took in this answer and she took in Jane. Maura thought that she had seen sides of Jane that few people were allowed to see. She had seen Jane happy, sad, angry, injured, and even scared. But she was seeing another side of Jane tonight, something she couldn't place. There was a somewhat scared and desperate look on her face. There was something in the way she asked Maura not to run away again. Maura was trying to figure it out and was about to say something when they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Maura excused herself and headed for the door. She opened it and found her mother, suitcase in hand, standing there.

"Got room for one more tonight?"

Maura stepped aside and let Constance into her suite.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Constance entered Maura's suite, cane in one hand and a roller bag in the other. Once in the living room she approached Maura and hugged her. It was a warm, tight embrace. "Oh, Maura. I'm so sorry. You have to know I had nothing to do with Phillips's decision." Constance's tone was anxious.

"I realized that when I saw the look on your face earlier. I know you didn't have a hand in this."

They continued to embrace for a few more seconds and then pulled apart. Maura, sensing Constance needed to sit, motioned her over to the couch. "Can I get you something? Wine maybe?"

"A glass of wine would be wonderful, thank you."

Maura left for the kitchen and poured a glass of wine for her mother. She went back into the living room and delivered the beverage. "Are you alright?" she asked with deep concern.

"This was not how I imagined my day was going to end, I'll have to admit."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize! This is your father's mess. Not yours. I could kill him for what he is trying to do to you."

"Not trying, did," Maura reached for the dissolution paperwork that was still sitting on the coffee table and handed it to Constance. "He made his choice and I made mine."

Constance looked at the paperwork with mounting anger. "Maura, sweetheart, you didn't have to sign this. "

"Yes, I did. I'm sorry Mother but I can't be a part of his life anymore. Signing that just makes it easier for me to walk away," Maura paused and then reached over and put her hands in her mother's. "I don't want to walk away from you though. I need you to know that I still need you in my life."

A tear started to fall down Constance's face. "I need you too Maura."

"What will happen between you two?"

"I don't know exactly. I have chosen not to make any final decisions tonight. There will be time to figure everything out in the days to come. I only know I couldn't stay in that apartment tonight."

"Well, you are more than welcome to the guest room. In fact, I'm heading back to Boston Sunday but you can stay here as long as you need."

"You're leaving so soon?"

"I only took off the week and we need to get back," Maura realized this was the first time she had mentioned Jane which then made her realize that she didn't know where Jane had disappeared. She looked around to see if she could catch a glimpse of her but Jane was nowhere to be found.

Constance caught Maura's eyes darting around for Jane. "Where is Jane, anyway?"

"I'm not sure. We were on the terrace when you knocked so maybe she's still out there."

"Maura, with Jane being here too I can go stay at a hotel. I don't want to take the guestroom from her."

Maura smiled to herself. Jane hadn't spent one night in the guestroom since her arrival in New York. "Jane can bunk with me. It's not an issue."

Constance pondered this for a moment. "It was nice of Jane to come here with you."

"Oh, she didn't come here with me. She showed up a few days ago." Maura noticed the confused look spread across Constance's face. "I didn't react very well to all of this and I took off from Boston without telling anyone. Jane figured out where I was and came looking for me," she explained.

"Oh Maura!" her heart broke for the hurt her daughter must have had to endure. "I'm so sorry you had to go through this alone. I should have answered your calls. I just assumed you were checking up on my rehab. I didn't realize something was wrong."

"Mom, stop. I'm ok now. I wasn't talking to anyone so I doubt you would have been able to do anything for me. I wasn't ready for anyone to help me. I hadn't even been ready for Jane's help when she showed up."

"How did she know where to find you if you didn't tell anyone you were leaving?"

"She figured it out. She is a detective after all."

"She dropped everything to come looking for you?" Constance thought back to her first few meetings with Jane. Jane had been very protective of Maura. Jane had even confronted her about how she had been treating Maura. It was apparent that Jane cared for Maura. Constance smiled, "she's a really good friend isn't she?"

"She's the best friend I've ever had," the tone was resonating with compassion.

"Well then, you are lucky to have her in your life."

"I most certainly am." They sat in silence for a few minutes. "Come on, let's get you settled into the guest room. You look exhausted."

Maura got up and grabbed her mother's suitcase. She led her mother to the guest room and had expected to find Jane's stuff in the room. She was going to grab everything and just move it all to her room but when she entered the room all Jane's things were already gone. Constance sat down on the bed and it was immediately clear that the day's events had caught up to her. Maura got her mother situated and wished her a good night.

She headed to the master bedroom expecting to find Jane but all she found was Jane's things thrown in a pile on the floor. She half smirked at the small mess Jane had created. She turned around and headed back out to the terrace. She found Jane leaning up against the railing lost in thought. She walked over and leaned up against the rail next to her.

"Is your mother ok?" Jane asked.

"She's tired. I'm sure she'll be asleep in no time. I'm not sure other than that. She didn't want to get in to too many details about tonight."

"I'm sorry Maura. For both of you. This hasn't been easy for either of you."

Maura sighed. "Thank you for moving your stuff from the guest room. That was sweet of you."

"I hadn't really slept there anyway. I figured you wouldn't mind sharing your room with me if it meant a safe place for your mom to sleep."

"I never mind sharing my room with you Jane." It was a simple sentence but something about saying it resonated with Maura. Without really thinking about it, she moved her hand and settled it onto Jane's arm. She looked down at this and fully expected Jane to pull away but Jane let her hand stay where it was placed. Thinking about it, Jane had let close physical contact happen for most of the night. From the hug in the elevator to her arm around Maura as they had walked across the park. This was a shift in what was normally a more reserved Jane.

Maura started to recall the conversation they had started before her mother had interrupted them. As her mind drifted, she barely noticed that Jane had slowly started to rotate her arm in such a way that she was about to interlace her hand with Maura's. In one fluid movement Jane was now holding Maura's hand. The realization of this move sent a chill through Maura as she knew she was one of the few people Jane would ever allow to hold her scarred hands. She focused in on Jane only to find Jane was focused on their intertwined hands.

Neither moved nor spoke for quite some time. Neither seemed to know what to make of the hands still locked together or the fact that neither seemed to have any desire to break the contact. Finally, Maura broke the silence. "My mother says I'm lucky to have you in my life."

Jane smiled. "Your mother is a very smart woman. But I think she has it backwards." Jane shifted herself sideways so she was able to look at Maura now without turning her head. "I'm the lucky one."

In that moment, their eyes locked in on each other. Without comment, without direction, without deep contemplation, both seemed to be on the same page with each other. They leaned into each other and let their lips meet for the first time.

**A/N So At last...the start of a romance**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The kiss was slow and deliberate. Not too forceful, not too fast. But it wasn't quick either. It wasn't hesitant or fumbled. Tender. As first kisses go, it was rather perfect. Or at least that is what was coursing through the minds of both ladies. Neither was reserved and for the moment, neither wanted the kiss to end. But slowly, more from the need for oxygen than from a want for the moment to end, they pulled back from each other. Each stared at the other, looking for any signs of regret. None was to be seen.

Jane leaned forward and rested her forehead against Maura's. She sighed but with such contentment behind the sigh that it sent shivers through Maura. "Maura….."

Maura gently reached up and placed her forefinger on the lips that had just been hers. "Sssshhhhhh," she uttered quietly but soothingly. She tilted her head back up and reclaimed Jane's lips as hers. Round two was even better than the first. Pressure and pace a perfect fit for the two. This, too, lasted as long as they could let it last.

"Maura," Jane tried again. She was searching for the right thing to say. She inhaled deeply trying to take in as much of Maura's scent as she possibly could. Never in her life had something felt so right, so perfect. She hadn't planned this, she wasn't expecting this to happen and she couldn't even really place ever having a conscious desire for this to happen but it was happening. And it felt right and true. Truer than anything ever had before in her life.

Maura looked at Jane and could see she was searching for the words. Words. Maura had none. Feelings definitely. But not words. Bliss, contentment, desire all happening at the same time. And a satisfaction that not one emotion was negative or fearful. This was right. It felt like this was effortless, natural. There was such peace within Maura in that moment she couldn't believe that the moment could get any better.

But it could. Jane, not yet ready to try to formulate an entire thought, went for thirds. This time with just a bit more passion and desire behind it. Lips linked together and Jane raised a hand to caress Maura's face. Maura's tongue brushed gently across Jane's bottom lip waiting for access and access was quickly granted. The sensation of Jane's tongue in her mouth, lips still locked, made Maura lightheaded. And once again the kiss lingered for as long as both seemed to be able to allow it.

Finally pulling back Jane put together a coherent sentence. "I think I could continue to do that all night but we really do need to talk."

Maura nodded and took both of Jane's hands in hers. "We really should, shouldn't we."

So that was settled. They needed to talk. But neither made a move to start. The silence wasn't awkward. There had always been such ease between the two of them that even this apparent change in their relationship hadn't managed to put that in jeopardy.

Jane reached back down and held Maura's hand again determined to continue the touch of her in some small way. Jane spoke first. "I have to say something and I do not want you to take it the wrong way."

"Ok…"

"For the record I do not regret that we just kissed, but…." Jane was struggling trying to get out what she wanted to say. She didn't want to hurt Maura. She didn't want to ruin what had just been a series of near perfect moments.

"But…" Maura waited patiently for Jane to complete her thought.

"But I think I regret the timing."

"Oh." Maura pondered for a minute.

"Let me explain. I'd love the say I had planned this. That I knew this was going to happen. That I had an idea that we could even end up here. But I didn't. I'm not sorry that we are here but you've been through so much over the last few weeks and even today that I think I regret this is being added to it." Jane looked at Maura desperately trying to gauge her reaction to what she was trying to say.

"So, the timing not the act?"

"Definitely the timing. You've been on an emotional roller coaster lately from the confrontation with your father two weeks ago to the confrontation with him again today. I don't want any of whatever this is between us to be something that happened for you because you weren't thinking clearly. It may sound crazy but if this is what is to evolve for us I don't ever what to feel like I took some sort of advantage of you during a time of emotional distress."

Maura was touched. In that moment she was almost overwhelmed with a sense of security. Jane, who had always put Maura ahead of her own needs, was doing it again. She was more concerned about Maura's state of mind and reaction to the kiss than about anything for herself. There wasn't a concern about changing their relationship or what it all meant or would mean. Jane was standing in front of her worried about her and her needs. It made her smile.

She lifted her hand and caressed Jane's face. "Listen to me. Yes, I have had a couple a crazy weeks. However, I'm thinking very, very clearly right now. I'm not sorry for kissing you. I don't regret any part of this, including the timing.

"To be honest with you, if the last two weeks hadn't happened I'm not sure kissing you would ever have happened. You aren't the only one that didn't plan for this to happen. I didn't have a master plan here either. As much as I think you want this not to be tied into any negative situation, that's really not possible. But that doesn't make it means less or mean something different. It just is what it is or what it will be."

Jane breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't want to screw things up before they had even had a chance to develop into something, whatever that may be. What was happening to them? This was new. She hadn't been lying when she told Maura she hadn't planned any of this. What does kissing your best friend mean? Where does it lead? Slowly a thousand questions rushed through Jane's mind all at once. She found it very distracting.

Maura, picking up on a bit of unease, squeezed Jane's hand a little tighter trying to pull her back into the now instead of letting her drift into a sea of uncertainty. She felt herself drifting that way too. Jane had been right. She had been through a lot, especially today. But she was thinking clearly and kissing Jane was not a reaction to the emotional rollercoaster she had been on, it felt more like her reward for staying on the ride and seeing it to the end.

Realizing that they both were on the brink of falling into the mental abyss, Maura yielded towards an intervention. First, a fourth tantalizing kiss was in order. She moved in and found Jane's lips ready, willing and able to return her actions with equal vigor. Then, as she slowly pulled away, she locked eyes with Jane.

"Nothing needs to be decided or labeled or categorized or defined tonight. Let's get some sleep and we can talk again in the morning."

Jane nodded and let Maura lead her towards the bedroom still refusing to relinquish her hand. Once in the bedroom, they both got ready for bed without discussion and each claimed their respective sides of the bed. Only tonight, there wasn't a line down the middle to separate out territory. Jane curled herself around Maura as best she could. Maura interlocked her arms around Jane's as it rested across her stomach and she shivered again as Jane gently kissed the base of her neck. Both thought in that moment that this was the most comfortable sleeping position they had ever found themselves in.

With one last kiss on the back of Maura's neck Jane whispered, "Good night Maura."

Maura stroked Jane's arm with her finger, "Good night Jane."

They both fell into a deep sleep still connected to each other. Tomorrow would come soon enough.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Maura started to wake up vaguely aware of the brightness of the room. She had slept soundly and based on the amount of light in the room she realized that she slept later than her internal clock usually allowed. She stirred and went to stretch when she found her movements impeded by a warm body. A smile drifted across her face as the warmth from Jane and her closeness washed over her. They had both slept later than normal.

She listened to the deep breathing coming from Jane and decided that was a sound she could get very used to hearing on a more regular basis. She shifted her position and curled up next to Jane seemingly unwilling to fully concede to the morning. With Jane still clearly asleep she found no reason to break away from her. She draped her arm across Jane's body and nestled further into her.

Maura must have dozed off again because the next time she stirred what woke her was the very nice sensation of Jane's fingers stroking in circles on her arm.

"Good morning," Jane half whispered.

Maura couldn't resist a smile, "Morning. What time is it?"

"It's just shy of 8 am."

"Hmmm," Maura sighed and pulled herself closer to Jane. "Let's just stay in bed all day."

Jane kissed her forehead and chuckled. "If your mother wasn't a house guest and right down the hall that would be an excellent idea. However, I do believe we will have to get out of this bed at some point today."

Maura pouted. She had temporarily forgotten about her mother spending the night. "I suppose you are right about that." Maura's innate sense of manners seemed to win over wanting to stay snuggled up next to Jane. She needed to get up and check on her mother. Releasing a disappointed sigh, she kicked off the covers, momentarily taking out her frustrations on them.

Jane did not seem to appreciate that move, however. The covers pulled off her too and she hadn't decided to rise quite yet. "Hey!" she whined. "Just because you have to get up doesn't mean I have to yet. She is your house guest after all."

Maura looked down and feigned reproach. However, the sight of Jane curling up in a ball trying to reclaim the warmth of the now discarded covers put an immediate smile on her face. It was way too cute to even try to fake being angry. Feeling mildly guilty, Maura retrieved some of the covers and replaced them back onto Jane.

"Thank you," Jane mumbled.

Again, too cute to resist, Maura leaned in and gently kissed Jane. Soft, calm, tender. "Stay in bed. I'll go check on my mother." Maura got up and headed for the door. Just as she put her hand on the handle Jane's voice caused her to turn around.

"So, last night really did happen, didn't it?" It was a statement not a question. And the tone was hopeful not regretful.

"Yes Jane. Last night really did happen." That too was a statement with nothing but happiness to it.

"Just checking. Go check on your mother. I'll join you two in a while. I have my own to appease."

Maura smiled and know a call to Angela was due. She headed out to see if her mother had risen yet.

Jane, awake enough to know she would never fall back to sleep, fumbled around on the night stand for her cell phone. Letting out a small yawn, she found her mother's number and hit send. Not even a full ring before she answered. _Seriously, is the phone attached to the woman?_

"Jane!" shouted Angela.

"Ma, my name comes up on your caller ID. Why do you have to scream my name into the phone like you are surprised it's me?"

"Oh, sorry sweetheart. I just get excited when you call."

"Clearly."

"So, how are…..things?"

"First things first. What did you say to Maura yesterday when she called? She cried when she talked to you. What did you do?" Jane's tone was not angry but there was disappointment to it.

"I….I didn't mean to make her cry. Is she ok? She cried twice actually. I'm not even sure what I did that was so wrong. I simply said that no one could be upset with her and that she was the perfect daughter."

Jane groaned, "Well that explains the tears then. Ma, you didn't say anything wrong but your timing was way off."

"She mentioned an issue with her father. Is it really that bad?"

"It's pretty bad, Ma. But Maura worked through a lot of it yesterday and I got to tell you, I was so proud of her for…" Jane paused realizing she may be letting too much out. "Let's just say that when Maura decides to stand her ground, I think she could take on even you."

Angela laughed at that. "I don't doubt that one bit. She's tougher than she looks."

"Yes, she is. I mean, she puts up with me so I think that gave her some training."

Angela took that statement in, as well as Jane's tone. There was something different this morning than the previous mornings. She couldn't exactly place her finger on it but if she had to at the second she would have labeled it as hope. But for what or why she didn't know.

"So is she really doing better?" Jane couldn't help but smile hearing the concern and love in Angela's voice.

"Yes Ma. She really is doing better. We should be heading home soon."

"How soon?"

"We'll be back by Sunday at the latest it's fair to say." Jane heard Angela's frustrated groan. "Ma, that's just two days from now. You can make it two more days without us."

"I can but it doesn't mean I want to. I just need to see Maura, and you, for myself to make sure she's ok, that you both are ok. I hate this Jane. I hate not knowing where you are and what is going on. If I was mean I'd point out that it is a cruel thing to do to a mother, but I'm not mean so I won't point any of that out."

Jane pulled the phone away from her ear and rubbed her face with both hands. _The woman will be the death of me at some point, I swear to God._ She pulled the phone back up to her, "Ma, I'm not getting into this again. I agreed to check in daily, so consider that done for today. We'll be back by Sunday. Once we are home you can pounce all over Maura for the details and answers but, again, it won't come from me."

Angela's frustration with Jane was matched only by her sense of pride for how fiercely Jane was protecting Maura. Very few people earned the right to have Jane in their corner but when they did the rest of the world had better beware. And apparently that included her noisy, be well meaning mother. "Fine. I'll wait until I can corner Maura when she returns."

"I'll warn her. Good bye Ma. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Jane flopped back down on the bed. Talking with her mother could be so exhausting.

While Jane was placing her call to Angela, a mental picture that made Maura smile, Maura went to check on Constance. Stopping first at the guest room, Maura lightly knocked but didn't hear anything. She slowly opened the door only to find the room was vacant. She went to the kitchen next and although she found evidence of Constance's recent presence, she wasn't in the kitchen either.

Maura headed out to the terrace and was happy when she found her mother sitting out there.

"I forgot how great the view of the park is from your balcony, Maura."

"It's been a while since you have been here. And yes, it's my favorite feature of this place." Maura took the spot next to her mother and settled in the chair. "Have you been up long?"

"Not really, no. I didn't want to wake either you or Jane."

"You didn't."

"Where is Jane? I never did see her last night."

Maura smiled. "She's on the phone with Angela." Constance looked questioningly at Maura's smile. "Angela isn't really appreciative of the fact that she doesn't know where either of us is right now. She's been a bit of a handful for Jane I'm afraid."

Constance smiled and sighed. "It's a mother's instinct to protect her children. No matter what age she is," and she reached out and took Maura's hands. "Why on Earth has she kept Angela in the dark about where you both are?"

"She's afraid Angela will "storm the city" as Jane puts it. She thinks it's safer to keep her in Boston."

"She can be a force, I'll grant you that. Does Angela know what's going on with your father?"

"Not really. I haven't felt like sharing the details. She knows I was upset. She knows I ran and that Jane followed me. She knows it has something to do with Phillip," Maura was a little shocked she used his name instead of the typical 'Father' identifier but thought she needed to stop calling him that at some point anyway. "But she doesn't know details."

"She just cares about you. I think it's been good for you to have her in your life. She's very motherly. God knows I haven't been that for you in the past."

"Mother, stop. I love you. We aren't going to start doing some in-depth comparison between you and Angela. What matters to me is that you are here and you still want me in your life. That's all I ever needed to know," the love behind those words was obvious.

Constance rubbed Maura's hands. "Ok, ok. Maura you have to know that I love you more than anything in this world. I may not have been the best at showing that love," she immediately stopped Maura from protesting, "but don't ever, for one second, doubt my love for you. You mean everything to me and nothing could ever change that."

Maura leaned over and embraced her mother. Constance sniffled and tried to stop the tears that were coming down her cheeks. Both held the embrace until both had regained composure.

"Ok, enough of that. I don't get to see you often enough to waste time with you on unpleasant things like crying."

"Agreed," said Maura reassuringly.

"So, when are you heading back to Boston?"

"Yeah, when are we heading back Maura?" Jane asked as she walked out onto the terrace. She walked up to Constance and placed a hand gently on her shoulder as if to also offer reassurance that neither held a grudge against her.

Maura caught this interaction between Jane and her mother and it melted her heart. Jane was capable of such tenderness when she wanted to and she had such a subtle way of delivering it that it could almost get missed if you didn't pay close attention. She smiled affectionately at Jane.

"I was thinking about heading back tomorrow actually. I have to be back to work Monday and so do you Jane. If we leave tomorrow that would give us both a full day to get caught up at home before jumping back into work."

Constance had sat back and watched Maura and Jane's interaction. She had caught the looks being given between the two and sensed that there was a shift in their relationship. She wondered. She actually had wondered a few times over the years based on how Maura would talk about Jane or watching Jane protect Maura. But now, watching them interact with each other, the change was obvious. It put a smile on Constance's face.

"Are you sure Maura," asked Jane. "We aren't really on a definite time table here."

"I'm sure. I would, however," she turned her attention to Constance, "like to spend today with you if that's possible."

"I think that can be arranged," she said with a continued smile.

"Great! How about a shopping excursion?" Maura's voice beamed with excitement at the possibility.

"That would be lovely," Constance agreed.

"Oh, yippee," groaned Jane.

Both Maura and Constance took one look at the pained and panicked look on Jane's face and burst out laughing. "Jane, you can stay here if you would like. You've done enough for me this week. I won't torture you with shopping."

Jane breathed an immediate sigh of relief. "Thanks. Anyway, you should have time with your mother alone. Why don't I handle making our return arrangements while you both shop and then we can all have dinner tonight."

Constance, still chuckling, agreed. "That sounds just perfect." She watched again as Jane and Maura exchanged a look that was undeniably motivated by love. It warmed her heart.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N I continue to be humbled by the response to this story. I can't thank you all enough for the positive feedback. I will absolutely continue to explore Jane and Maura's relationship but I am attempting to do that within the context of several other open issues in the lives of these ladies. I want to do things right- which by now you all should have figured out that means it slowly. But, I do update daily so that should buy me some forgiveness. As for this chapter- well it chapter runs a little long but there were things I felt needed to be said. Enjoy.**

Chapter 28

Maura and Constance both got cleaned up and were close to heading out to go shopping. Jane lingered in the bedroom while Maura was finishing up the final touches with her makeup.

"You can come with us Jane," she said with a wicked smile knowing the absolute last thing Jane wanted to do was spend the afternoon shopping.

"Oh no! Not a chance." Jane, too, had a smile on her face as she knew Maura was only teasing. "Seriously though, you should have a good day with your mother. I think there are things you both still need to talk about and she may speak more freely if I wasn't a tag-along."

"You may be right about that. She hasn't really said much about how that conversation went after we left last night," the concern for Constance was immediately heard in Maura's tone.

"She'll fill you in if she wants to talk about it. Just be there for her. That's all you can do at this point."

Maura walked out of the bathroom. "I suppose you are right. She's had to deal with so much lately I feel terrible that this has been thrown at her."

"Just remember something. You didn't cause any of this. Both of you have been hurt by Phillip. Being there for each other will only make your relationship stronger." Jane wrapped her arms around Maura and placed a tender kiss at the crown of her forehead.

Maura sighed and hugged Jane back. The comfort she felt from Jane's embrace was so powerful. Jane's arms around her made her feel so protect and secure. She lingered in the warmth of Jane's touch as long as she could before finally pulling back. "Speaking of conversations, you do know that at some point we need to talk about us."

"Yes. Yes we do. I'm not trying to avoid that conversation Maura. Don't worry about that. But, we need a chance to talk without getting interrupted. Your mother being here has interruption written all over it. So, go be with her and we will talk when the time is truly right."

Maura thought about this and conceded that Jane was right. Theirs was liable to be a long conversation that she didn't want to be interrupted. "What will you do today?"

"Like I said, I will handle our return arrangements if you are sure that you want to go home tomorrow."

"I'm sure. It's time to go home."

"Fine, then let me handle that and then I may just take a walk around the park. We can have dinner with your mother after you two have bought out half the city."

"Alright," Maura leaned in and kissed Jane lightly. "Last chance to join us."

"No chance in hell. Now go."

Maura skirted out the door and found her mother ready and waiting. "Shall we?" she asked Constance.

"We shall," she returned with a smile.

"Jane we should be back by 5. I'll text you if something changes."

Jane nodded. "Have fun you two."

Maura and Constance rode down the elevator. They headed for the front door and were greeted by Jeffrey. "Good morning, Dr. Isles. Mrs. Isles. Lovely day today, isn't it?"

"Good morning Jeffrey," acknowledged Maura.

"Can I get a cab for you ladies?"

"Actually, yes you can."

Jeffrey rushed to the street and flagged down a cab. He held the door open for both Maura and Constance and wished them a good afternoon before closing the door.

"Where to ladies?" asked the cabbie.

"Henri Bendel," answered Constance. She caught sight of Maura's approving smile. "Or did you want to start at Bergdorf's first?"

"Henri Bendel is fine."

The cabbie must have heard Maura's agreement for he pulled out into traffic. The ladies settled into the cab. "I'm really happy we can spend today together. I'm just sorry about the circumstances that brought us together," Maura interjected after a few blocks of silence.

"I know Maura. I'm glad we are getting a chance for some time alone too. As for the circumstances, they are rather unfortunate. "Constance looked out the window for a minute. "Maura, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"You mentioned something this morning, that you 'ran' and Jane had to follow you. Did you really run away?"

Maura winced a little. Her mother had cut right to the chase. "When…Phillip…confronted me a few weeks ago I was blindsided. I wasn't ready for that kind of confrontation. The finality of his tone and his decision just shook me. I tried to go on as if everything was fine but that was getting harder and harder. I found myself hiding from Jane and her family. When she tried to confront me about why, I took off. So yes, I ran away."

Constance looked at Maura and could still see deep pain in her eyes. "Why were you hiding from the people that care for you? That's a part of this that I don't understand."

"Jane didn't understand it either. It's been hard for me to properly explain what happened and what I was feeling. I'm not sure I can even with you. Over the past few months things for me have been emotionally taxing and when Phillip announced he was through with me, something inside me just broke."

"Maura, what has been happening with you lately? I mean, what Phillip did was absolutely wrong but it feels like I don't know some of the background here. Can you tell me? I don't want to upset you but I feel like I have an incomplete picture."

Maura released a slow breath. Her mother knew some things but not everything. They didn't have the type of relationship to this point where they told each other everything that was happening in their lives. In some ways, they were strangers. Maura had never thought to confide in Constance about personal issues. Recently, her mother had made strides to become more involved in Maura's day to day life but there was so much that the two hadn't ever shared she wondered if now was the right time to start.

Maura decided to try. If they were going to move forward and have a closer relationship she was going to have to start opening up to her mother. "There was a combination of several issues honestly. Some you know about and some you don't. I don't want to hurt you either. Are you sure you want to hear all of this?" It was a warning Maura felt she needed to offer Constance.

"Honey, I have not had the greatest track record for being there for you in the past. But, I want that to change. I've been trying to be a better mother to you. I want to know anything you feel comfortable telling me. Nothing you can tell me will make me love you any less. And if you don't feel like you can confide in me, I can't say that I blame you. If that is the case I just pray you will give me the chance to earn your trust going forward."

The sincerity behind Constance's words made Maura tear up. She really did want a more open, trusting relationship with her mother. She wanted to tell her mother things. Maura had spent so much of her life tackling issues and problems alone it was never her first instinct to discuss things with anyone. After she met Jane that got a little better but she still processed most everything internally. It was always a comfort knowing she could talk to Jane. That probably had been the greatest gift Jane's friendship had brought her.

Eventually, she knew she knew she could talk to Angela too. But, sitting in that cab, she found herself wanting to add her mother to that list. She needed to have at least part of her family, the family that existed before she ever knew any Rizzoli, available and open to her.

"I, too, want to change our relationship. I want so much to confide in you. To seek your advice. To just know that I have you on my side," she said as she let a few tears run down her cheeks. "I want that so badly."

"I'm right here, Maura. You do have me. Maybe it is time that we talk. Really talk."

Maura nodded, "I'd like to try."

Constance reached over and wiped away the few remaining tears from Maura's cheeks. She turned her attention to the cab driver and spoke, "I'm sorry, we are changing our destination. E 72nd St and 5th Ave, please."

The cabbie nodded and made a lane change. Maura looked at her mother with a little surprise. "Shopping will have to keep. This is more important and I just want to sit and talk for awhile." Maura just nodded again.

The cab arrived at one of the entrances to the Central Park and both got out after Constance paid the fare. They walked into the park and found a spot near Bethesda Terrace to sit down and talk. Once settled, Constance took Maura's hand into hers. "Now, talk to me about what has been happening with you."

Maura nodded and began. She started explaining about how she had discovered who her biological father was. She explained about Colin and Doyle cutting himself to give her the needed DNA to confirm she was his daughter. She told Constance about being kidnapped by Doyle and given the cell phone. She told her about Tommy O'Rourke. How she felt responsible for his death. How she was sure Jane had made the call. How guilty she felt that she had been the reason Jane, or someone, had compromised their integrity to tip off a killer. How she had nightmares still about O'Rourke's death.

She went on. She explained her fear of turning out to be like Doyle. Ruthless and cold. That somehow she would never be able to have anyone love her because of who she was. That she was afraid that Doyle's DNA wasn't ultimately going to make her a killer but it would render her unlovable.

She talked about her search for Hope. She apologized for wanting to find her biological mother but explained that she needed to find that last piece of the puzzle. That maybe knowing her biological mother would somehow counteract her beliefs about Doyle and what he meant for her life. She told Constance about how she found Hope and tried not to let her know she was her child. She talked about discovering she had another half sibling. She told her mother about the discovery of her sister's illness and her attempt to donate one of her own kidneys. And she talked about how both Caitlyn and Hope had rejected her and how she again felt that it was because of Doyle and evidence of a pattern of her ultimately being doomed to a life alone.

She then spoke about how guilty she felt about Constance's accident. That she hadn't been the target and it should have been Maura that was hit by the firefighter Maura had discovered was an arsonist. She talked of how she felt seeing her mother laying in the hospital bed clinging to life and again feeling as if it was her fault. That anyone who was a part of her life was doomed and destined to be hurt. How Constance would have been better off not having Maura in her life.

She explained the fight she had with Jane about shooting Doyle. How she had over-reacted and almost lost her best friend. How she had increasingly felt that maybe she belonged tied to Doyle and all the evil he stood for since she did nothing to hurt or drive away anyone good in her life. That maybe she deserved to be alone and miserable. That maybe that was her fate.

"So when Phillip came to me and rejected me, it was like it was the last piece of evidence my mind needed to prove the theory."

"And that theory being?"

"That I was never meant to have love or be loved."

Constance had listened to Maura. Really listened. She had interjected a few times especially to point out where Maura's thinking was wrong. But mostly she listened. The pain behind Maura's words broke Constance's heart. She felt guilty for being a source of some of her daughter's pain. But she felt worse for making her daughter feel alone for too long in her life. A mother's job is to protect her child and Constance had not lived up to that responsibility. The consequences were devastating and sitting right in front of her.

"Oh Maura. Is that how you really feel?"

Maura slowly nodded. "At times, yes."

"Listen to me. You are not fated to be without love. Quite the contrary I would say. You have earned the right to love and be loved. You prove that every single day. You've been through so much and you have gone through most of it alone. That, my dear, says more about the people who failed you than about yourself. We all failed you. It's never been the other way around.

"It was my job to raise you. Support and love you. And I did. But in a way that suited me and my life style. Not in the way that you deserved. You should have been showered with affection every day of your life. I'll regret that for the rest of my life. No words now can change the past. I hope one day you will forgive me for failing you.

"One of the truly sad parts is that I stood by and let you push yourself away from people and emotions. I watched you retreat into a world of science and facts in order to avoid the emotional world that had so disappointed and failed you. And I let that happen. It seemed easier at the time. And it was a selfish thing to allow. I should have pulled you back into the world and been the mother you deserved.

"And then you met Jane and I saw you, for the first time really, start to step out into the world you had retreated from and start to accept friendship and love. I was so happy when she came into your life. I started to see you change and become more outgoing. You handled situations and people better and I knew it was because of Jane. She was really the first person you let get close to you. She did all the things for you I should have done years before.

"I was so thankful that she opened her heart and her family to you. It made me feel better that Angela was there for you when I hadn't been. That they all had accepted you and that you found a way to accept the love they so wanted to give you. I thought you were finally getting the family you deserved and the one that you should have had all along.

"I was so impressed by Jane when she first confronted me about how I had treated you. I saw nothing but love and devotion in her that night and was grateful that you had someone in your life that would love and protect you. I knew it had been missing from your life for too long. So you see you weren't fated to be alone. You were just fated to have better people in your life than what you were originally given.

"Never let yourself doubt that you deserve to be loved. You've deserved better than you have received for far too many years. The love you have in your life you have earned. Don't away run from it for fear of it hurting you again. It won't be like that this time. She loves you. Don't run away from her because I, and others, have failed you in the past. Jane is where your destiny lies."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Jane set out to arrange return travel to Boston. Both Maura and Jane had taken the train from Boston to New York and Jane found no reason to alter that as a means of return. She powered on Maura's laptop and started to search for return trains. She was able to book two First Class seats on the Acela express train for the following day. The express would cut off almost an hour from the trip and that made Jane happy. She would have preferred to fly but her trip was so last minute she had settled for the train. She assumed the same thing happened for Maura. At least she would be able to sit and talk with Maura for the return trip. That should help her enjoy the trip back more than initial trip out when she was still panicked about Maura.

She went into the master bedroom and looked around. Packing for her would be easy. Her stuff was already thrown around in piles so it would only require hoisting the piles into her carry-on bag. Maura, however, posed an entirely different packing challenge. First, she had about three times as many clothes as Jane had brought and second, unlike Jane, Maura actually cared if any of her items got wrinkled in transport. She sized up the situation and decided it would be easier if Maura did her own packing.

She grabbed her cell phone and highlighted a name, hitting send.

"Hey Jane. How's Maura?"

"She's better Frost. We are both coming home tomorrow."

"Good. Is she ready to come back?"

"She says so. I think so. We can't stay away forever so might as well head back. How are things going there? Am I going to walking into any big issues?"

"Not really. Only one new case since you've been gone. Korsak and I are handling it. Looks like a jealous boyfriend. Alibi is shaky and Korsak thinks we can crack him if we can get Pike to actually finish his report. Jane I swear this guy redefines incompetent."

Jane chuckled at that, "He is incompetent. Thank God we have Maura." She chatted for a bit longer with Frost just get a feel for what she would be walking back into on Monday. Frost and Korsak had played well together but it was clear Frost missed Jane. Jane missed interacting with both Frost and Korsak and was looking forward to returning back to work.

After finishing her conversation with Frost, Jane thought about calling back her mother to let her know she would be home a day sooner but decided against it. She had sounded so determined to pounce on Maura when she saw her next that Jane decided it would prudent to let Maura get into town before Angela could stage a vigil at her front door.

Thinking about dinner, Jane really didn't want to dine out tonight. She suspected Maura didn't either. She wandered into the kitchen and began to review what food options were available. A nice home cooked meal for both Maura and Constance seemed to be a better option than a crowded and knowing Maura, overpriced restaurant. Jane was also fearful of ending up at some place where the food wasn't really food but items Jane would forever be convinced were never meant to be consumed by normal humans. Yes, dinner at home was sounding like a better idea.

She realized she had almost everything she would need to make the dinner she had in mind. She called down to the concierge and explained what she needed. Within minutes, they had sent up Jeffrey to gather a list for things Jane needed with a promise to fetch them quickly. Fixing dinner would give Jane something to do for the rest of the day while she waited for Maura and Constance to return from shopping.

As Jane waited for Jeffrey to return with the needed items, she made her way onto the terrace. She was actually going to miss this terrace. Her apartment didn't even have a balcony and Maura's place had a deck but it overlooked the guest house. Jane made a mental note to try to talk Maura into going up here more often.

Jane settled into a chair on the terrace and let her mind drift towards the events of the previous day. She had kissed Maura. And more importantly, Maura had kissed her back. She steadied herself for what she expected to be an onslaught of fear and doubt, especially now that she was alone for the first time since the kiss and could let herself have any reaction her body wanted. But sitting there, she wasn't overcome with either fear or doubt.

At least not in the sense of regret or self-recrimination. If Jane was completely honest with herself she did fear the consequences of changing the nature of her relationship with Maura. Maura was the best friend she had and her life didn't work right without Maura in it. She hadn't been exaggerating when she told Maura she had come looking for her more for selfish reasons than for Maura herself. Jane didn't want to lose Maura and there was a part of her that worried that if they changed their relationship the friendship would get lost somewhere.

But it was not an overwhelming fear like Jane expected it to be. It seemed like natural trepidation that accompanied any major life change decision. And that was something that surprised Jane as well. This was a major life change. She had expected stronger fallout. Instead, there was a deeper sense of anticipation than concern. As if Jane knew that this possible change, while scary, could lead to something better than what she had with Maura already. That this change could be nothing but a good thing.

She had never been attracted to a woman before. She had admired the beauty of others before but never had the desire to kiss one before. She let herself think about Maura. Maura's beauty had always been breath-taking but Jane had just assumed it was a given that Maura had affect on everyone. But for a physical desire for Maura, Jane couldn't place the exact moment that had happened.

Jane had loved Maura from the moment they had become friends. But she hadn't ever classified those feelings as being 'in love' with her. But as Jane sat and tried to figure out all of the events that had lead up to the kiss, she realized that maybe it had been because Maura was her friend first that Jane was able to evolve in her feelings for her.

Jane had never been casual about sex or love. She had never been promiscuous and was never comfortable with the idea of one night stands. She also didn't fall in and out of love easily. She had cared about both Casey and Dean but she had never been in love with either one of them. She even had liked Grant but much less than either Dean or Casey. But there was a truth that Jane had known for quite some time that none of these men could change.

That truth had nothing to do with gender or some defined notion of sexuality. Jane didn't really look at the world in that way. Words like gay, lesbian, heterosexual to Jane all those were just labels for other people to throw around to push some agenda. Love was love as far as Jane was concerned and she didn't really care in what form it would happen to take for her. No, the truth Jane had known about herself wasn't some label it was a truth about trust.

Jane had known for quite some time that she could never love, truly love, someone she didn't trust. Love was not even an option if Jane couldn't trust the person. And the thing was Jane didn't really trust anyone. Growing up she trusted her family but outside of that not many people would have made the list. When she became a cop, her training and what she saw on a daily basis made her even more resistant to trust people. Jane had seen too many crime scenes, too many murders committed by people who were supposed to love and care for their victims to allow herself to give her trust to anyone.

And then came Hoyt. Jane's multiple encounters with Hoyt had scarred her in very intimate ways. Of all the residual effect's Hoyt had on Jane, the one that scared her the most was that he had taken away her ability to really trust anyone. He had broken her, maybe not completely, but he had broken at least a part of her. And for that, she would never let anyone close enough to see that damage. She couldn't let anyone see how vulnerable she really was, ever.

So she knew, Casey, Dean, Grant, Michael, any of the seemingly hundreds of men her mother had tried to set her up with, none of them stood a chance of ever having Jane really love them. They would never and could never know the real her so the whole notion of love was never really on the table. Since she wasn't a big believer in the one night stand, her sex life had stayed relatively nonexistent.

But, then there was Maura. The one person that seemed to see right through her. The one person that seemed to know her better than anyone else. The one person that she felt completely comfortable around and who she let see her wounded, vulnerable side. The one person that didn't seem to mind if she was broken. Maura saw it but it hadn't made her run away or treat Jane differently. Somehow, Maura became the first non-family member Jane ever truly trusted. Maybe that was why she wasn't surprised to have found herself kissing Maura last night. Maybe part of her had always known that one day she would. Maybe she had always known she was in love with Maura.

The return of Jeffrey pulled Jane out of her thoughts. She retrieved the items, tipped Jeffrey generously for his service and promptness, and made her way into the kitchen. Wanting to focus in on preparing dinner, Jane let her mind clear. The last thought was that she had plenty of time to work everything out and it made her happy to know she was going to be able to work it out along side Maura.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Maura held tight the embrace that she found herself in with her mother. She had just bared her soul to her mother for what had been the first time and she liked the way it felt. There was a comfort between the two she wasn't expecting. It made Maura hopeful for what their relationship could be going forward.

They broke their embrace and both ladies attempted to fix the smeared makeup from their faces. "Aren't we a sight," Constance joked.

"How did you know about Jane?" the curiosity behind Maura's question was obvious. It was just last night that they had kissed for the first time.

"Oh Maura," Constance reached over and held her hand, "you would have to be blind not to see how she looks at you. And you at her. I don't think anyone who has spent more than five minutes with you two hasn't at least wondered if you two were together."

Maura smiled and wondered if it had so damn obvious to everyone else why hadn't anyone bothered to point it out to her. "Does it bother you that I might be involved with a woman?"

"Oh good heavens! No! Maura, I just want you to be happy. All I have ever wanted for you was someone that would love you for who you are and someone you could love just as much. Why would I care about something as silly as that person's gender? Jane loves you. I've seen her protect you and that's all I can ask for you."

Maura let out a sigh of relief. Constance, noticing the look on Maura's face, continued. "What I'm curious about is when did it change for you two? That seems to be recent."

Maura shook her head and wondered if they were that readable. "Very, very recent. Like last night recent."

"Really?"

"Yes," she answered unashamed.

"You both seemed so at ease this morning. Just last night, huh?"

"I swear," Maura insisted.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes. I don't think I can pinpoint the exact moment I went from classifying my feelings for her from the friendship love to a romantic love but somewhere along the way I fell in love with her."

"So what happened last night that made you both take a step forward?"

"I'm not sure. We still need to talk about that. Neither one of us was expecting this to happen. It's new for both of us so I can't really speak for Jane."

"Okay, what made you want to take that step forward?"

"It is more about feelings for me. I think I let myself really feel love for her when I found her down in the lobby waiting for me this week. In that moment, I knew she would always be there for me even when I had tried to run and hide. My heart just opened to her. But I didn't have any idea how she felt about me so I was just going leave it as a friendship. I wasn't going to do anything that would drive her or scare her away. But last night, I don't know. There was a look in her eyes and I just knew we both felt the same way in that moment. And next thing I know, we were kissing for the first time."

Constance smiled. Clearly this was all brand new for both. But she was sure it would be ok. Maura clearly loved Jane and Constance had seen firsthand Jane's devotion to her daughter. "You have time to figure this all out. You've been through a lot lately so some of this may take some time."

"That's what Jane's worried about. She thinks she is taking advantage of my fragile emotional state. I think she wishes we would have figured all of this out before any of this mess with Phillip occurred."

"As long as you two are open and honest with each other about how you feel I can't see anything else making much of a difference."

Maura nodded. They had talked about her long enough. "Now, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"What's going to happen between you and Phillip?"

Constance could see concern and guilt flash through Maura's expression. "I don't really know yet, to be perfectly honest with you."

"What happened between you two last night after Jane and I left?"

"After you left I stood waiting for your fath….for Phillip… to answer my question. He didn't offer up much of an answer. Or at least an answer that made any sense to me. He told me that he went to Boston and what he said to you. And he told me his reasons behind it.

"What is sad is that I think he believes he is right. I think he thinks that you are in a position to hurt me, him, us. I think he thinks that if he shields me from you, I won't be in any danger or get hurt. What I don't think he realizes is that he hurt me more by what he said to you than anything he thought could have happened to me because of you.

"Maura, he didn't know about Patrick but I did. I always have. Phillip was always under the assumption that you were a private, sealed adoption. So when it came out the Patrick with your biological father and about his ties to the mob, he started to get very concerned about our safety. Somewhere he became convinced that the mob would target me or him to get back at Patrick. He started going with me when I went out and he insisted on knowing where I was at all times. I don't think he ever thought you would hurt us but when it hit the papers I think he panicked.

"And, for all his efforts to try and protect me, I still got hurt. And sadly, he blamed you for it. I think that is what pushed him over the edge. Maura, that accident was not your fault. You weren't the one driving the car and if you remember correctly I pushed you out of the way. I was more at fault for getting hit than you were. But Phillip got very focused in on the fact that the driver was aiming for you. Tie that into his concerns about the mob and that's how he got to where he felt the right thing to do would be to get you out of our life.

"While I get how he arrived at what happened. I don't think I can forgive him for it. Ever. The man I thought I knew would have wanted to figure out a way to protect me AND you. The man I thought I was married to would have strengthened his family, not torn it apart. I don't know the man he is right now. I don't think I want to know the man he is right now.

"He doesn't think he is wrong by disassociating himself with you. Until that changes, if it ever does, I can't have him in my life. I have loved him for more than half my life but this current version of who he is isn't someone I can love. So, officially I would label us as separated."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say here really."

"There's nothing for you to say. This is a matter between Phillip and me. Just like how you chose to handle him is between the two of you. I fully understand why you want to walk away and I don't blame you. What he did was wrong and just an added example of someone failing you. He should have tried to protect you. Instead he only managed to hurt you. If you walk away from him, I support that and seeing as you signed the dissolution papers I assume your mind is made up.

"I don't want you to base our relationship on him going forward. No matter what you are my daughter and that can exist independent of Phillip. I don't see our marriage lasting. I really don't. Last night he just utterly refused to believe he was wrong in what he did. If that doesn't change I will file for divorce. And if that does change, I just don't know how I will react. Part of me now knows he is capable of something I never thought he could be and that may have changed us forever, no matter what."

Maura was about to say something when her phone beeped and vibrated.

_When are you coming back? _

It was Jane. Maura looked at the time and saw that it was later than she thought.

"Jane?" asked Constance with a smile.

"Jane," answered Maura. "We probably should head back. Unless you aren't ready yet."

"No, we can head back. I think we've talked enough for one day. I'm sorry about the shopping."

"Trust me, I was happier just talking. Let's go."

_We are heading back now_

_Good! Do I need to get you a U-Haul for the shopping bags?_

Maura smirked at Jane's text.

_Not necessary_

_K. See ya soon_

Constance and Maura flagged down a cab and gave the address. "Please consider staying at my place until you figure things out. It's a shame the place doesn't get used more often. Jane and I are leaving tomorrow so you can have the run of the place for as long as you need."

"Thank you. I believe I will take you up on that offer."

They were quiet the rest of the cab ride back both processing what the other had said. As they entered Maura's suite, they were quickly overcome by a heavenly aroma. The entire suite smelled of garlic and herbs mixed with a sweet cinnamon smell Maura could vaguely detect. It put a smile on both their faces as neither had bothered to suggest eating lunch. Maura was immediately grateful that Jane was preparing dinner.

"Jane?" shouted Maura.

Jane rounded the corner. "Welcome back." She looked suddenly confused when she didn't see bags or parcels in the hands of either Maura or Constance. "What, did you buy so much they had to resort to shipping it to you? Or should I go down and help poor Jeffrey build a tower of greed on one of the bellman carts?"

"Actually, I'll have you know we are purchase free." Maura gave a look to Jane not to push.

"Oh," Jane said reading Maura's face. Apparently she would explain later. "Well, can I at least get you both a glass of wine?"

"That would be fabulous. What is that wonderful aroma?" Constance asked.

"I thought we would all enjoy a night in instead going out for dinner. So, I cooked. I hope you don't mind. We are having chicken scaloppini with a lemon glaze, rice pilaf and asparagus. Oh, and Zabaglione for dessert. Dinner should be ready in about fifteen minutes."

Jane retreated into the kitchen to start a glass of wine for both Maura and Constance. As Maura made her way further into the suite she entered the dining room. Her breath was taken away when she saw Jane had set the dining room table for three. Candles were lit and the place settings even had all the extra silverware Jane always complained about not understanding the need. The room was picture perfect.

She walked back into the kitchen and scooted up behind Jane placing her arms around her waist while resting her chin on Jane's shoulder. She lightly kissed the base of Jane's neck. "Thank you," she whispered.

Jane caressed Maura's arms and leaned back into the hug. "Anytime." She pivoted around still in Maura's loose embrace. She leaned in pressing her lips against Maura's. The tenderness of the kiss made both of them weak in the knees. "Dinner in fifteen."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Dinner was delightful. Jane's cooking abilities were clearly understated. Conversation was light, casual and in abundance. Jane got Constance discussing her next installation and after that the topics flowed freely for the remainder of the evening. Dessert and coffee was enjoyed on the terrace. The evening had turned out to be quite lovely.

As the evening wound down, Constance excused herself to retire to the guestroom. Maura got up to make sure she was situated and Jane made her way towards the kitchen to tackle the dishes from dinner. Maura returned to the kitchen after a few minutes.

"Jane, I'll take care of the dishes. It's the least I can do. Dinner was fantastic."

Jane, not needing to be told twice, stepped aside and let Maura replace her near the sink. "Be my guest, Doc," she said with a smile.

"You've been holding out on me. If I'd known you could cook like that I'd never had placed Regina Pizzeria on my speed dial."

"I reserve cooking for special occasions. Our last night in New York just happens to qualify. And don't even think about taking Regina's off your speed dial."

Maura chuckled as she continued to load the dishes in the dishwasher. Jane poured Maura another glass of wine and then grabbed a beer from the refrigerator for herself. She then leaned up against the island in the middle of the kitchen. "So, no shopping today, huh?"

"No shopping today." Jane waited for an explanation. "We started talking in the cab and then really started talking. It seemed better to just go sit and talk instead of trying to shop."

"Heavy subject matter I assume?"

Maura nodded.

Jane, taking in Maura's slight mood change, proceeded cautiously. "Want to talk about it?"

Maura was quiet for a second. "Would you mind if we didn't? I'm kind of talked out for today."

"I don't mind at all. I just hope talking helped you both. You seemed more relaxed around each other all through dinner so clearly some things went ok today."

"It was a good day just long and a little draining."

"Well then, let's finish the clean up here and get you to bed," Jane didn't even try to hide the not so subtle message in that statement.

Maura chuckled lightly again. "Why Detective, are you flirting with me?"

"I have no idea what you are referring to, Doctor," Jane said with a wicked smile. She did, however, seem to take a new interest in the clean-up process and between the two of them it was finished in no time.

Jane leaned back up against the island and took a swig of her beer. Maura settled in beside her letting her shoulder rest up against Jane's. The sudden closeness sent shivers through both ladies. Maura looked at Jane who had a content smile on her face. Both were at ease. As new as all of this was, they had not yet found a moment where the natural comfort between the two had waivered.

Maura leaned her head onto Jane's shoulder and sighed. "Tired?" Jane asked.

"Physically, no. Mentally, yes. It's been a long couple weeks."

"Are you sure you want to go back tomorrow? I'm sure you can extend your time off and I have no set deadline for returning. Maybe you need a few days to rest without all the complications."

"No, it's time to go home. We both have a life to get back to Jane."

Jane had started to trace small circles on Maura's back as they spoke. The touch resonated for them both and the touch felt electric. Jane shifted her body towards Maura and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met in a steady but passionate kiss. They held the kiss for a time. Breaking away to catch their breath, Maura rested her forehead onto Jane's.

Maura was struck by the softness of Jane's lips. Soft and gentle but capable of delivering a passionate message with ease. The feel of her lips up against Jane's was a sensation she had never felt before. She had heard language around the notion of a 'spark' in reference to a kiss but had never had any personal experience that would qualify. That was until her lips had found Jane's. No biology or physiology could account for her reaction to a kiss from Jane.

As if on cue, Jane leaned in for another kiss this one with a growing intensity. She felt Maura's hand rise up and caress her cheek and she shifted her hand to weave into Maura's hair. Jane ran her tongue across Maura's bottom lip and it took no time for Maura to allow entry. She released a soft moan that Jane found irresistible.

"I swear I could get very used to a sound like that," Jane whispered as they broke from the second kiss. Jane was savoring the taste of Maura's lips and her tongue, sweet with just a lingering hint of red wine. She definitely could get used to the taste of Maura.

Maura couldn't help but blush. "I'm certain I could get used to this," she whispered back and proceeded to run a trail of soft kisses down Jane's neck. Jane released a soft moan of her own.

"Bed?" Jane suggested.

Maura raised her eyebrow with a sly smile. "Jane…"

"I meant for sleep, Maura." She couldn't help but smile.

"Oh…"

Jane smiled. She straightened up breaking the contact between them. Quickly missing the feel of Maura's skin she laced her fingers into Maura's hands.

"Call me old fashioned but there's absolutely no way I can even think about sleeping with you with your mother right down the hall."

The sincerity of Jane's words and the absolute truth behind them hit Maura quickly with a mental picture so entertaining she burst out laughing. Having an issue controlling her laughter she at least got it to a giggle to respond. "A very valid point," and then she laughed again. "I believe that would pose a significant distraction."

"Not a distraction but definitely something resembling a poorly conceived after-school special."

"After school special?" asked Maura now completely confused.

"Really Maura, how did you get through your teenage years without all the appropriate after school PSAs?"

Maura's look remained confused. "Jane, I spent my teenage years in Europe. I feel I need a translation here. PS what?"

Jane laughed again. "PSA- Public Service Announcement. After school specials were these horribly written and acted hour long TV specials geared at teaching valuable life lessons to teenagers. Topics ranged from drug use to eating disorders to pregnancy. They were really quite awful but someone somewhere decided that was the best way to educate teens in the US before the creation of the Internet."

Maura nodded a half understanding. "Never mind Maura maybe I can find one on Netflix. I have a feeling you would appreciate them if you could see one. Now, like I was trying to say, shall we head to bed before this," and she stole another kiss from Maura, "starts to get out of hand and I test my resolve about the proximity of your mother."

Maura conceded. They made their way towards the bedroom. Upon entering she noticed Jane had successful thrown her piles of clothes into her open carry-on bag. "I see you've packed," she snickered.

"I was going to try to handle your packing but quickly admitted I would be in over my head there," she pointed to Maura's closet. "I know how you are about wrinkles. So I decided it was best for you to handle your clothes yourself. You'll have time in the morning to pack."

Maura nodded in appreciation. She would have been extremely bothered if Jane had attempted to pack her things in the same manner she was used to treating her own wardrobe. "I'm glad you realized it was a task that was beyond your comfort zone. Jane, all kidding aside, we really should talk about us."

Jane nodded, "I know we need to. We will. But I think you have talked enough today and you said yourself you are mentally drained. We have a three and a half hour train ride back to Boston tomorrow. It'll be just you and me. Why don't we both get some sleep and we can figure out all of this together tomorrow."

Maura yawned and nodded in agreement. They both got ready and climbed into bed. Maura curled herself up into Jane and Jane's arm rested around Maura's shoulder. It was a very nice way to end their last night in New York.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Morning seemed to come quickly. Maura stirred at the crack of dawn and was actually glad her internal clock was returning to normal. She generally was up around dawn and it was comforting to see things return to something more consistent. She took comfort in the warmth of her current sleeping situation which admittedly was anything but normal. Or at least the normal that had existed before her time in New York. She turned to face the woman sound asleep next to her. Just the sight of Jane peacefully asleep took her breath away. There wasn't another thing on Earth that was as beautiful as Jane when she was sound asleep.

Jane. How could someone who had experienced so much pain and terror also be the same person Maura had come to depend on for inner strength and courage? How was it that Jane was the rock for Maura when it should have been the other way around? The things Jane had survived to this point should have broken her completely. They would have broken just about anyone. Maura was convinced she, herself, would have been broken. But Jane, somehow Jane seemed to fight back and move forward. Maura admired her for that. She loved her for it too.

Maura understood where the hard-as-nails, tough exterior Jane desperately projected came from. She not only understood it but she also respected Jane because of it. Jane could have easily backed away from the world, her job, her life and used the tragedies of her life as the excuse or a crutch. But, in all the years Maura had known Jane, she never once traded in on her pain. Never once used a single situation to get special attention or weasel her way out of anything. In fact, Jane mostly refused to have anyone acknowledge any of the ordeals and she absolutely hated it if someone tried to call her a hero. She was one. She was Maura's hero. Only Maura knew she could never say that to Jane.

Maura found herself looking down at the scars on Jane's hands. Maura had for years wanted to protect Jane from any more pain, trauma or harm. Jane had been through enough for ten lifetimes and Maura had wanted to spare her from anything else. It was once they had established their friendship that Maura first felt the need to protect her. That had seemed natural. But now, lying next to her, Maura not only felt a need to protect Jane from future ordeals but also this overwhelming need to heal her from the pain she had already suffered. Maura had this intense desire to fix the broken part of Jane's psyche. She wondered if maybe her love could be the answer.

Maura knew Jane was still haunted by demons. They usually visited her when she was asleep and unable to keep them at bay. Maura had spent many a night comforting a terrified Jane after she would wake up screaming from a nightmare. Hoyt's death had helped diminish the frequency of the nightmares but they hadn't completely gone away. Not all the dreams were about Hoyt. Not all the dreams were explained to Maura. Some demons Jane wouldn't even name.

Maura had seen Angela try to comfort Jane in the aftermath of a nightmare. There was clearly a strong, loving bound between mother and daughter but after a nightmare Angela was never able to reach Jane never able to completely calm her. The same held true for Frankie. It was rare for him to be around when Jane was asleep but it had happened a couple of times and even though they were as close as any brother-sister combination could be, he too failed to penetrate Jane's guarded psyche after a nightmare and he could never fully calm her either. Tommy stood no chance.

The only person known to make any difference was Maura. Somehow, Maura was always able to reach through all the fear and uncertainty almost immediately and that had seemed to make the difference. If Maura was there, Jane snapped out of it faster, calmed quicker and Maura was also the only one who could ever get Jane to fall back to sleep afterwards. Maura never fully understood why she had a different effect on Jane that her family but she did. As she thought about it she wondered if maybe her power over Jane was love.

Whatever it was, Maura was absolutely grateful for it. She looked back down at the peace of Jane's sleep and wanted that to never end. She never wanted Jane to have another nightmare. No more nights torn open by her screams. No more nights ended with her sobs. Maura wanted Jane to have true peace. Jane had earned it. More than earned it. Maura wondered if maybe she was a key to helping Jane find it. As she stared at the sleeping beauty next to her she hoped she was.

Maura slide out from the bed and managed not to disturb Jane's sleep. She had things she needed to get done this morning but she wanted to get a run in before the morning was lost to chores and packing. She dressed and headed out but not before stopping at the bed, leaning over and placing a light kiss on Jane's forehead. Yes, she definitely would protect this woman and maybe, hopefully, even heal her.

Jane vaguely registered the sound of the bedroom door closing. She didn't have to guess that it was early. There was not too much natural light drifting into the room yet. Although half asleep she correctly guessed the door she heard was Maura. She let her arm slide over to where the doctor should have been found sleeping and was less than surprised to feel the emptiness. _Five will get you ten says that crazy lady just went for a jog, _Jane thought to herself as she rolled and stretched out at the same time no longer worried about hogging the bed. She thought about getting up and maybe trying to catch up to Maura but that thought lasted as long as it took for her to fall back to sleep.

She rolled over again about twenty minutes later this time much more awake and coherent. Sensing no further sleep would come to her, she made the slow effort to get upright. She hadn't minded being here, but Jane was ready to go home. A smile crossed her face at the notion of Boston, her apartment, her job and even her dog. Yes, it was definitely time to head back.

She wandered into the kitchen and started to make coffee. She was just contemplating whether Maura, or Constance for that matter, would be interested in a big breakfast when she heard stirrings from the guest room. Apparently the Isles women were both early risers. As the coffee brewed, Jane pulled down three cups. Two she filled immediately the other she placed next to the pot for when Maura had returned from her run.

Her timing was perfect. Just as Constance entered the kitchen Jane handed her the cup of coffee. "Good morning. How did you sleep?"

"You read my mind on the coffee Jane," she said thankfully. "I slept just fine thank you. Is Maura awake?"

"Your insane daughter is off chasing rabbits or squirrels or birds or whatever other creatures are crazy enough to out running around before 6 am," she said with a smile.

"She certainly has more discipline that me. I wouldn't jog this early even if I was recovered enough to be jogging."

"I'm not a fan. The last time I was jogging this early was when we were trying to squeeze in training for the Boston marathon. I hated every second of it."

"But you did it."

"Well, yeah but only because Maura wanted to. I'd have never signed up to run a full marathon if Maura hadn't wanted to do it."

Constance smiled at that. They sipped coffee in quiet for a few minutes.

"Will you be ok here by yourself?" Jane asked with sincere concern.

"Yes, I think I'll manage just fine."

"I know that my mother has rooted herself in Maura's guest house but she can easily shift to my place if you would like to spend a longer or more permanent stay in Boston you know. Maura would love to have you closer to her."

The compassion in Jane's tone touched Constance in a way she wasn't expecting. "That's really sweet Jane. But I wouldn't dream of displacing your mother. It makes Maura happy having Angela as a neighbor."

"But if you need a place in Boston don't think there isn't one for you."

"If I end up in Boston I'm sure Maura and I will be able to figure out an arrangement that would work for everyone. Besides, until things here are more permanently resolved, this is where I need to be."

"Fair enough," Jane offered and let the subject pass.

"You make her happy Jane." It was simple but direct. And absolutely true.

Jane wondered if they awarded medals for a person's ability not to spit coffee out violently during moments of unexpected comments. If they did, she had just earned at least consideration. She managed not to spit and recovered enough to be able to look Constance in the eyes. Not quite sure what to say, she opened her mouth and heard this come out "Not as happy as she makes me." Had she really just said that? She meant it but had she really, truly just said that to Maura's mother?

Constance smiled, "Seriously Jane. You make her very happy. You are good for her. She was never really comfortable around others and I have seen that change in her. It changed because of you."

"I think she managed that on her own."

"She never would have even tried had it not been for you. And your family. You were there for her Jane when her family, when I, wasn't. I'll be grateful to you for that for the rest of my life."

"You are here for her now. That's all that matters."

"Yes I am but your presence in my daughter's life matters Jane. More than mine does. It's obvious that you love her. And she loves you. I just want you to know that I think she is very lucky to have you in her life and I don't see how she could ever do better than you."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me but I told Maura the other night that you had that backwards. I'm the lucky one."

Just as Jane finished her sentence, they both turned hearing the front door open and Maura walk towards the kitchen.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Maura entered the kitchen and knew immediately that she had interrupted a conversation. Both her mother and Jane looked like they had just gotten caught with their hands in a cookie jar. She was about to ask but decided against it for the moment. Neither looked like it was a bad conversation so she made a note to just ask Jane later.

"How was your run?" Jane asked wanting to keep Maura from asking what they had been talking about. Two Isles and one Rizzoli meant Jane was outnumbered in the kitchen and she didn't want to have anything to do with a heart to heart at that moment.

"Exhilarating. I've been so out of a normal exercise routine that I really needed it this morning. It will be nice to return to a normal routine when we get back."

"Yeah, our routines have been just a bit off lately. I haven't worked out in a week. I'm going to pay the price for that the first time I hit the gym."

Maura entered the kitchen fully and made her way towards the coffee smiling at the waiting coffee cup. She poured herself a cup and let her eyes glance between Jane and her mother. Whatever the topic of conversation was that moment had clearly passed and neither seemed willing to take charge of a new conversation.

"I need to get cleaned up and pack," she announced as she headed for the bedroom. Constance and Jane stayed in the kitchen. As Maura left she caught a glimpse of a smile exchanged between them and it peaked her curiosity. She would definitely need to ask Jane about what they had been chatting about.

She entered the bathroom and started the water for her shower. She let the water run for a moment and started laying out her clothes to get ready to pack. She showered relatively quickly, or at least quicker than normal. She wrapped her hair up in a towel and wrapped another around herself and walked into the bedroom. She was riffling through a pile of clothes on the bed when Jane entered the bedroom without knocking.

The sight of Maura wrapped in just a towel caused a catch in Jane's breath. She tried to remember if this was something she had ever seen before but couldn't seem to get her brain to work quite right. Although she felt convinced that if she had been such a sight, really seen it, she definitely would have remembered. No, this was new or at least different given the evolution of their relationship. She suddenly realized that she was staring, if not gawking, at Maura. _Smooth Rizzoli, real smooth _she berated herself. She knew she face was flushed.

"Hey Maura, sorry I probably should have knocked. I just wanted to know if you would like any breakfast."

"You don't need to knock Jane," Maura answered with a smile on her face. She liked the feel of Jane's stare. It gave her goose bumps. Things were definitely changing between the two of them. "I was just going to have a bagel for breakfast," she said taking notice of a very blushing Jane. She was going to have to remember that Jane wasn't as at ease with nudity as she was. She had spent her youth in an all girl boarding school while Jane had two younger brothers in her house. Clearly they were on different comfort levels.

"OK. Sure. Bagel. I'll get that for you," she stammered and backed out of the room closing the door. She leaned up against the door after she closed it to compose herself. She knew it was silly to suddenly be nervous. It was just Maura. Maura naked under that towel but still just Maura. Suddenly the idea of seeing Maura naked aroused something in her. As she tried to picture it the reality hit her that she was attempting to picture what her best friend looked like without apparel and was surprised that it was starting to feel natural. They still needed to discuss all of this and she would need to get through that conversation without becoming a stuttering idiot but it was a conversation she was starting to look forward to having. Pulling herself off from the door, she went to get Maura that bagel.

Maura finished getting ready and tackled the packing. It hadn't been as difficult as it would have been if she had indulged in any type of shopping whatsoever. Having avoided that activity this trip made the chore manageable in just a few minutes. She looked around the room and was satisfied that she wasn't leaving anything behind. She hoped her mother would move her belongings into the master bedroom after they left. The room was bigger and had the master bath.

And then it was time to head out. Jane took Maura's bags along with hers down to the lobby allowing her to have a moment alone with her mother.

"Will you be alright?" Maura asked.

"Yes, darling. Don't worry about me. Will you?"

"I think so. I'm settled on the topic of Phillip."

"And Jane?"

"That is something I believe we are both just going to have to take one step at a time."

They embraced. "You are welcome in Boston."

"I know. But I have to handle things here. I will call you though."

And with a kiss on the cheeks, Maura headed out to join Jane. She made her way to the lobby and found Jane had secured a cab and all the bags were stowed. They both entered the cab and Jane directed the cabbie to Penn Station.

"You ready?"

"Yes. Yes I am," Maura answered and laced her fingers into Jane's hand.

The next thirty minutes were filled with cabs, train stations and getting themselves situated in their seats on the train. Maura was glad Jane had managed First Class seats on the train. It gave them more room and afforded them some privacy. They both knew that they needed to start talking about their relationship and Maura had wanted to try to at least move one step forward before they pulled into Boston. She let all the train passengers get settled and waited for the train to pull away from the station before she started the conversation with Jane.

"What were you and my mother discussing this morning when I walked in on you both?" she asked with curiosity.

"Your mother was explaining that I make you happy," she said with a smile.

"Oh really?"

"Apparently," she said. "Oh and she said that we both love each other."

"She said that?"

"That and I'm pretty sure I was given permission to date you although I don't recall asking her for that. Did I need to ask? Is that customary?" she asked but smiled the entire time so Maura would know she was kidding.

"No Jane, you aren't required to get my mother's permission to date me." She was suddenly a little nervous. "Are you mad that she knows about us?"

"What? No!" It was an emphatic answer.

"I wasn't going to tell her right away. I mean we don't even really know what this is, but she guessed there was a change between us and I did confirm it."

"Maura, she's your mother. I don't care if you talk to her about us. I must admit it took me by surprise when she said something this morning. For the record I need to be commended for not spitting coffee all over her."

Maura chuckled as the image of that crossed her mind. "I am sorry Jane. Maybe I should have warned you that we had talked."

"Maybe, but don't worry about it. Anyway, according to her, you can't do better than me so I guess it was the not spitting on her that won her over. You may be stuck with me now."

Maura squeezed her hand. "I would never consider myself just stuck with you."

"Can it be that easy? Can it be as simple as just deciding to date and then date?" Jane asked already knowing the answer would not be a yes.

"No, I don't think it's that simple," Maura said. "I think it's complicated. I don't know if there is an easy answer here. I don't' know if we can just decide to be a couple and then be one."

"Is that what you want? For us to be a couple?"

"Before I answer that can I ask you what scares you the most about where this might be heading?"

"I don't want to lose you as a friend. What if this doesn't work out? What if we try this but it goes wrong or it doesn't last? If that happens can we go back to being just friends? Because I'm not sure about that. I'm not saying that I think things wouldn't work out but if they don't and I lose you as a friend too I think I could regret that for the rest of my life."

"I don't want to lose you as a friend either. The very thought of losing you scares the hell out of me. But I'm not sure I want fear dictating the decisions I make in my life. I have let fear do that to me in the past and I don't want to let that happen here. As scary as taking this, us, to a new level is I think I could regret not trying for the rest of my life."

"So where do we go from here?" Jane asked.

"Do you love me?" fired back Maura for the moment not answering Jane's question.

"Yes."

"Do you think you could be in love with me? Because that is the other thing that I'm worried about. I don't want to confuse loving you with being in love with you," Mauara reached over and took Jane's hand as she spoke.

"I don't want that confusion either. But here is what I know. I know that you are the single most important person in my life. I know that you are the only person outside my family I trust absolutely and without question. I know that I want you in my life. I know that you electrify something within me that I haven't ever let myself feel before. I think I could be falling in love with you.

"I've never been attracted to a woman before so some of this is new to me. As I have thought about this I can't pinpoint that exact moment we went from friends to something more but we did. I think it's been there for a long, long time but neither of us wanted to acknowledge it. Probably out of fear. For me, it was a fear of changing what is the only real comfortable relationship I have in my life.

"But I don't think I can ignore this. What's starting to happen between us feels right to me. I don't regret it and I want it to continue. To grow. I want to let this take us wherever it is meant to go. Mostly I can't imagine that doing anything with you could ever be the wrong thing."

Maura took in all that Jane had just said. She was moved that Jane was talking so openly about her feelings. She knew it was her turn to be as open. "I don't regret kissing you either. And I have never been attracted to a woman either. I admit that my boarding school past has me guilty of some innocent experimentation but I was just a kid and I'm not sure that counts for anything. I have never felt the need to label my sexuality. You feel right to me. This feels right to me. When we kiss it feels like home. It feels safe.

"I want to be with you. I want to explore whatever this is together. I want to be able to hold you in my arms and know that's exactly where you want to be. I want us to move through any of the uncertainty together. I want us to not to be afraid to take this step forward. I want this to continue to feel natural and for us both to trust in each other enough to be certain that this is the right move for us both. I want us to not be afraid to risking our friendship for what I think could be something so much better."

Jane looked at Maura and smiled. She, too, thought things could be better. "I know that I am capable of loving someone and letting someone love me. But it has to be the right someone. The relationships I have tried in the past were all doomed from the start because deep down I knew I wouldn't ever trust any of them enough to let myself love them. But it's different with you. I've trusted you almost from the moment we met and it is because I trust you that I think I could love you and be loved by you."

Maura took a deep breath. Remembering that Jane had asked earlier if it could just be as simple as deciding to go for it, she interjected "So, if we both want this maybe it can be as simple as deciding we can do this. Maybe we don't over think it and just do what feels right. I believe we trust each other enough to be honest with one another. I also think we love each other enough not to hurt each other. So maybe we just do this and decide that we've both earned the right to be happy. Because I really think I could be happy with you."

"I really think I could be happy with you too. Dr. Maura Isles, when we get back to Boston, will you do me the honor of going out on a date with me?"

"Detective Jane Rizzoli, I thought you'd never ask. I would love to go on a date with you."

They looked into each other's eyes and both knew that they were one step closer to something they both wanted.

**A/N This story is reaching an end soon. Just a few more chapters as I want to get these ladies all the way back to Boston but then this particular story will end. However, I do plan to continue with a sequel and explore their developing relationship once they get back to their normal every day lives. That's a different dynamic and I think it deserves it its own story. Just thought I'd warn that the end for this story is coming soon. Continued thanks for all the feedback and reviews**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Jane stared out the window watching the world streak by. She had taken advantage of a lull in the conversation with Maura to process what she had both said and heard. She thought there was never a better example of opposites than her and Maura. One nervous about moving forward for fear of losing what was had. One nervous about not moving forward for fear of losing what could be.

Jane thought about the irony that she may be facing the classic glass half empty or glass full paradigm. She was definitely the glass half empty. Maura was so the glass half full. Was she crazy to think that their now developing relationship could be the solution to the quintessential dilemma? That theirs could be an equation that would find two halves joining to make one whole? Was it simple math? The question made Jane smile.

Maura, noticing the smile drift across Jane's face asked, "What are you thinking about?"

Jane turned to look into the hazel eyes that were looking thoughtfully back at her. "Fractions."

Maura's brow furrowed as this both totally surprised and confused her. "Fractions? As in math?" this made absolutely no sense to Maura at all.

"Yes." Jane was still attempting to finish the particular train of thought she had been on and didn't provide any more detail to Maura. She returned her gaze back out the window.

Maura waited for something more to go on but Jane offered nothing else. _Fractions? _She now desperately wanted to understand the context in which Jane would be thinking about mathematical entities. "Jane?"

"Huh….yes?" looking back at Maura again.

"I'm waiting for an explanation."

"To what?"

"To fractions. You can't just say something obscure like fractions and then not provide me any context to help extrapolate comprehension here. I mean seriously, fractions?"

Jane smiled again at Maura. She loved that she knew that when the crinkled line on Maura's forehead crinkled down and to the left it meant that she was frustrated. She loved that she knew that if that same crinkled line on her forehead crinkled up and to the right it meant that Maura was mad. She knew Maura so well. She knew her moods, her tones, her facial expressions. Jane was beginning to believe it was why she felt comfortable believing that she could love Maura and be loved by her. She already knew her. Already knew everything about her.

"What? Dr Smarty-pants can't figure out what fractions are?"

"I know what fractions are but I don't know what fractions are to you. Jane you aren't making any sense to me. Please explain what you mean."

"You really want to know this?"

"Yes," she nearly hollered.

"I was thinking about how, given the right set of circumstances, two halves can add up to one whole," and she stared into Maura's eyes as she reached over and laced her fingers with those of Maura.

"Oh," Maura thought for a second. Then it dawned on her the hidden context of Jane's sudden utterance wasn't about mathematical entities. The hidden context was about them.

Jane watched the crinkled line on Maura's forehead go from a deep, downward, left slanting angle to a slow, sudden easing to a complete relaxation and nearly faded altogether. That was the face of Maura finally figuring out something that had been puzzling her. "So you see, fractions."

Maura beamed and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met for a brief but tender moment. Maura settled back into her chair. She seemed to get lost into her own thoughts and the two sat in silence again for awhile. After a few minutes she straightened up a bit and returned her attention to Jane. "Are you nervous at all about returning to Boston?"

Jane, snapping out of her train of thought was now the one that looked confused. Had they been deeply involved in a conversation she hadn't realized had started? "Am I what?"

"Are you nervous about returning to Boston?" Jane couldn't help but notice the edge to Maura's tone.

Not fully understanding her, Jane asked "Why would I be nervous about returning to Boston?"

"Are you at all worried about what will happen to us when we get back to Boston?"

"No, I'm not nervous. I'm assuming that we are going to take this one step at a time. Starting with an official date," she said with a smile.

Maura shook her head. That wasn't what she meant. "No, that's not what I mean. Are you worried about how being in Boston might change how we are right now?"

Jane was slowly starting to understand what Maura was asking. "Are you asking me if I'm worried about how being home will affect us?"

Maura nodded her head. "I mean if you really think about it, this change, this development with us all started to take shape away from Boston. You and I were alone for the most part in New York without any distractions or influences from family or friends or jobs. But now we are going home and are going to be surrounded by our lives. Are you worried about that at all?"

Clearly Maura was worried about it. Jane looked at her. "I hadn't really thought about that. Things have been so crazy that I guess I haven't given any thought to things changing because we are home. So I can't really say if I am nervous or not. But clearly you are. Why? What are you afraid of?"

"We've existed in a vacuum for the last week Jane. I'm a little concerned that things will get complicated once we are home and we aren't in that vacuum anymore."

Jane hadn't really given too much thought yet to how things could change or be influenced by being back home. They had been lucky being able to start realizing their feelings for each other outside the normal day to day of life in Boston. Maura probably had a point. There was a chance that things in Boston could get complicated.

"Truth? I hadn't really thought about that. I think maybe things could get complicated once we are home," and she looked away from Maura as she thought about something.

"What is it?" concern evident in Maura's voice.

"I was just thinking…Ma."

One word from Jane conveyed so many things. Maura knew that as much as Angela drove Jane crazy, they were very close. Was Jane worried about how Angela might react to their relationship? "Jane?"

"Was your mother freaked out at all about the idea of us getting involved? Even a little?"

"No. She hinted that she had suspected or wondered about us over the years so she had been used to idea for a while. When I confirmed that I had feelings for you, she was nothing but supportive."

"Maura," Jane for the first time showed signs of panic, "what if my mother can't accept me, us? What if she freaks out? I can't….what if…."

Maura leaned over and rubbed her hand in small circles on Jane's back trying to calm her down. "Hey, sshhh, Jane it's ok. Your mother loves you. She just wants you to be happy. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

Still panicking Jane wasn't appeased. "She very Catholic, Maura. This may not go over well with her beliefs."

"Jane, as religious as your mother is, you are her daughter and she loves you. And, I have to tell you, she already supports the idea of the two of us being together."

Jane looked at Maura with disbelief. "WHAT?!"

"Jane," Maura said in a lower tone trying to convey to her that she should be a little quieter, "I'm telling you that Angela has already indicated to me that she would support us as a couple."

The disbelief and shock did not leave Jane's face. But at least she didn't yell this time. "What are you talking about?"

"When I called your mother the other day to check in with her the conversation turned in a way I hadn't expected. She was trying to be supportive with me by trying to tell me I was the perfect daughter. Well, that made me cry and she felt really bad about that."

Jane nodded, "She explained that to me. I told her that her timing was just off. Get to how you know she supports us as a couple."

"In an attempt to shift the conversation away from me she started to ask whether you were taking care of me. She mentioned how much better she felt that you were with me and how she knew you would do anything for me. And out of nowhere, she told me that she had a secret hope that we would fall in love."

"Oh my God! She did not say that!"

"I swear. She shocked the hell out of me. It came from nowhere. She said that we were perfect for each other and that I was the only person you ever let get close. So her secret wish was that we would realize that our love was more than a friendship love."

"What did you say?"

"This was all before I knew how you felt about me and honestly before I really knew I felt anything more than friendship for you. So I couldn't think of anything to say. I had no response and I just got off the phone with her. But clearly Jane, she will be okay about you and I being together."

Jane didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Jane?"

"I just need a minute here ok Maura."

"Ok."

"Maura?"

"Yes?"

"Ever get the feeling that you and I are the last one's to show up to the party?"

"Yes."

"Me too."

And they were both quiet again.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

The train ride back to Boston had gone smoothly. They were only about 30 minutes from Boston and a sense of calm had finally washed over Jane. She could not believe that her mother would approve of her starting a relationship with Maura. And she really couldn't believe that her mother had told Maura this. Jane spoke to her mother daily and not one time had Angela mentioned anything about getting involved with Maura. But as she got passed the shock of Angela saying something to Maura, she could let herself focus on what exactly it was that Angela had said. Her mother approved and was secretly hoping for her to get involved with Maura. The realization that she would be open to that kind of relationship warmed Jane's heart.

All of this had happened so fast that Jane had not even really stopped to consider how her family would react to her wanting to date a woman. When she left Boston almost a week ago she had never expected she would be returning with Maura as a possible girlfriend. How on Earth did that happen again? Jane found she hadn't had the time to obsess about family and friends but as the train pulled itself closer to Boston she found herself wondering.

Apparently Angela was fine with the notion of Jane being involved with a woman. Or maybe Angela was just ok with the notion of Jane being involved with Maura. Jane had never thought Angela was too hung up on labels or sexuality. Her big concern had been the Catholic Church's apparent lack of acceptance of same sex relationships. Jane hadn't known where her mother would draw the line between her own family and her faith. But if she was secretly hoping Jane and Maura would end up together she clearly was standing on the side of her family. And Jane loved her for that.

As she thought about this, Jane wasn't even sure she knew how to describe herself- gay, bi, unsure, but decided she didn't need to have an answer to that yet. She knew what was in her heart and that was Maura. All of the rest of it would eventually work itself out. Maura and Jane could figure it out together.

If Angela was fine with her and Maura being a couple, Jane started to wonder about everyone else. She felt that Frankie would accept it without an issue. She knew he loved her and he cared for Maura like a sister. Frankie and Jane had always been close and she felt that Frankie would want for her whatever made her happy.

She was concerned about Tommy's reaction though. Not so much from the standpoint of having any issue with Jane being gay, or whatever she may consider herself, but more from the standpoint of his feelings for Maura. Jane was aware that Tommy had feelings for Maura so she was worried that he would be jealous or upset that Jane was with Maura and he wasn't. Hopefully he would support both Maura and Jane's decisions to try to make this work.

She thought about Frost and Korsak. She cared for both men deeply. The relationship you have with a law enforcement partner is not a typical friendship. You trust that person with your life. Jane trusted both men implicitly. She felt for sure Frost would be fine. She wondered a few times if Frost hadn't been one of the many that already assumed there was a physical relationship between her and Maura. Either way he cared for Jane and for Maura and Jane was convinced he would be happy for them if this was what they wanted.

Jane worried about Korsak for as supportive as he usually was Jane was concerned that he was old school. He was from a generation that didn't race to embrace the notion of homosexuality. She had never seen him make any comments or discriminate against anyone he thought was gay. In her gut she believed Korsak would be happy for the both of them as well.

And that was it really. Ma, Frankie, Tommy, Frost and Korsak were the only ones she actually cared what their opinions of her were. She could care less about everyone else. This was no one's business. Being the only female detective in homicide and just being a female cop for that matter, Jane had long since dealt with the assumptions about her being gay from the boy's club at Boston PD. She knew the rumors. She heard the side comments. And she didn't care. She was who she was.

It annoyed her that some of the men took to a stupid stereotype about all female cops being butch or dykes or whatever other offensive slang term they could use to describe them. It annoyed her not because she cared if that was how they viewed her but more because it just showed how ignorant the men were and she hated to be surrounded by ignorance. The rumors about Jane and Maura had floated through the hallways of BPD for years. Maybe it was time for there to be some truth behind the rumors.

She settled herself into the comfort of believing she would get support from all those that she cared about. She was not sure when she or Maura wanted to start telling people they were dating. Part of Jane wanted to wait to at least have their first date before trying to have some big announcement or coming out party. She believed that in the end she and Maura would know the best way to tell the people they cared for what was going on with them. They'd decide that together.

The train finally pulled into the Back Bay Station and Jane smiled knowing she was back home. New York was nice to visit but she was grateful to be home. It suddenly dawned on her that they had not discussed sleeping arrangements for the evening. She wondered if Maura wanted to be alone tonight. They hadn't been apart since Tuesday morning and now she wasn't looking forward to possibly spending a night away from her.

"Maura?"

"Yes?'

"We haven't talked about tonight. Are we going to separate places? Did you want some time alone?"

"I was just thinking about that myself. I was thinking that I could stay at your place tonight. If I go home tonight I will have to deal with Angela. There's no way she won't realize that we came back a day early. You said she was going to pounce on me the minute she sees me and I really don't think I'm up for that tonight. Mind if I hide out that your place?"

Jane's face lit up and she smiled. She wasn't going to have to face the night without Maura. "I would love that. We can get a little more situated and deal with Angela tomorrow. We both are in for it from her although she will go easier on you than she will on me. But, considering she is guilty of harboring some secret desire for us to be a couple and hasn't bothered to inform me of this, I have a few cards I can play if she gets too clingy or Hurricane-ish."

Maura smiled that this. "Then that settles it. Now, let's get off this train so you can take me home." The smirk that crossed Maura's face made Jane blush.

They gathered their belongings and exited the train. Once they claimed their luggage they headed to the parking ramp. Jane escorted Maura to her car first and made she sure was all packed and settled. She leaned down and kissed Maura before shutting Maura's car door. "See you at my place." She threw her stuff into her car and both vehicles made their way towards Jane's apartment.

They arrived at Jane's place basically at the same time as traffic was pretty light. Jane grabbed her stuff and enough of Maura's luggage she could make it through until morning without issue. Maura also had clothes and toiletries at her place just in case.

Jane had a sudden panic about the condition of her apartment. She couldn't remember if it was clean or not and she had fled in a hurry to get to Maura. "Maura, I may need to warn you…"

"Not sure it's clean or a mess, huh?" Maura winked and smiled at Jane.

"I have no clue what we are walking into so you may want to stay back in case it's really, really bad." Jane said almost apologetically.

Jane was generally a neat person but she wasn't as compulsive as Maura. She could let items sit out for a while before finally putting them back whereas Maura would not go to sleep or leave the house unless everything was in order. Jane wasn't a slob so it wouldn't be horrible but there was a more than decent chance the bed was not made and there would be laundry on the floor in both the bedroom and in the bathroom. It was doubtful there was any food in the fridge and it was almost certain that there was a collection of empty beer bottles, pizza boxes and Chinese food containers sitting near the trash in the kitchen.

"Jane, I've seen your place at its worst. I'm still willing to risk it."

They got to her front door and Jane slowly placed the key in the door. She opened the door just as slowly, still unsure of just how bad it may be. She didn't see anything too bad at first glance so she pushed the door open a bit further. She stuck her head in the doorway and started to glance around. Maura, growing impatient, came up from behind and pushed open the door and walked in.

"Really Jane! You are acting like you think we are going to get attacked by something. It can't be that bad," she said with a chuckle.

Accepting her fate, Jane fully committed to entering her place. She was shocked at what she saw. She stood in the doorway and looked around. It was immaculate. Nothing out of place. Nothing laying around. It even smelled clean. She glanced at the kitchen and there was not a bottle, box or container to be found. She dropped the bags and went straight for her bedroom. The bed was made and the rooms showed not one loose piece of clothing.

She rejoined Maura in the living room. Maura, too, was also looking around. Their eyes met and they both spoke simultaneously.

"Ma." "Angela."

Jane made the mental note to thank her mother for coming to her rescue. Maura, as a friend, seeing her place less than stellar was one thing. Maura, as her possible future girlfriend, spending her first night at Jane's place as such was another matter altogether.

Maura and Jane got situated. Jane had checked the kitchen and found that besides cleaning her mother had stocked Jane's shelves and fridge with food and beverage. She pulled a beer out for herself and got a glass of wine for Maura. Looking at the food options she turned to Maura. "Something simple or takeout?"

"Let's do something simple. And then how about a movie?"

"That will work. Why don't you run out and get a movie and I'll start dinner. I believe it is your turn to pick the movie anyway."

Maura agreed and headed out to get a movie. Jane reviewed the food options and decided on one of Angela's lasagnas she had brought over. Looking around, it was really sweet what Angela had done for Jane. She grabbed her cell phone and called.

It was a full ring before Angela answered. "Hey Janie! How's Maura?"

"Hey Ma," smiling at her asking about Maura. "Maura is good, Ma. Much better. Things have started to work themselves out and I think she'll be ok."

"Oh that's great! It broke my heart that she was so unhappy. Does this mean you are finally coming home?"

Jane, trying not to outright lie to her answered, "That's way I'm calling. Are you still planning on having family dinner tomorrow?"

"Of course! It's Sunday Jane. Just because you and Maura go gallivanting off to parts unknown doesn't mean the world stops. Sunday is family dinner night, whether you bother to be in town for it or not."

Jane flinched. Maybe she did deserve that a little. She knew her mother was worried about both Maura and her. "I was calling to make sure Maura and I had a place to go for dinner tomorrow, Ma. We both want to have dinner with you." That was the truth. Jane was trying to avoid saying they were in Boston now. So far so good.

"All you had to do was tell me you were coming over for dinner," she said but Jane heard the excitement in her voice. She heard Angela immediately cheer up at the thought of getting to see both Jane and Maura tomorrow. "Dinner will be at 5. Will you both be able to make it by then?"

Jane, thankful for the way Angela had just asked that questioned answered, "Sure Ma. We can make it there by 5. Do you need me to bring anything?"

"Just you, Jane. I miss you! Oh, and Maura too. I need to see that she is ok for myself."

"I've missed you too Ma. I really have. We both will see you tomorrow."

Jane went back to the kitchen and finished getting dinner ready. She thought for a moment about whether to set the table or just eat at the island. She opted for the island as setting the table seemed too formal for them. Maura returned just as the last of the dinner preparations were completed.

"Something smells wonderful."

"Ma brought over lasagna," Jane said with a smile.

"Excellent. I'm starving." Maura pulled up a stool to the island.

"What movie did you get?"

"It's a surprise. Let's eat and then we can watch the movie."

"But what movie?"

"Eat Jane. The movie will be revealed soon enough."

They settled in and started to eat. Both were hungry so the lasagna was perfect.

"Oh, we are due over at your place for family dinner night by 5 pm tomorrow," Jane offered.

"You called Angela?"

"Yeah, she was going to want a confirmation on return time so I thought I'd pre-empt her asking and offer to come over. I didn't want to have to lie about our return plans."

"Were you successful with your sin of omission?" Maura asked with a smile.

"Absolutely."

They finished dinner and Maura handled the clean-up. Jane started to snoop around for the DVD but got immediately warned by Maura to stop. "Don't even think about it Jane. Go get more comfortable and as soon as I clean up I will share the movie choice with you."

Jane pouted as she went to the bedroom and changed clothes. She dressed in lounge pants and a BPD t-shirt. She went back into the living room and plopped down on the couch. She turned on the TV to watch a bit of ESPN before Maura was ready for the movie.

Maura finished in the kitchen and went to go get herself more comfortable. She looked into the living room and caught sight of Jane on the couch. She heart skipped a beat as she took in the scene. In that moment she didn't think she would ever see anything sexier than Jane in her lounge pants and t-shirt. _Sexy lingerie be damned, _Maura thought. Jane in her comfort clothes was a sight to behold.

Maura came back into the living room in a slightly more refined version of pajamas and was holding a DVD in her head. She put the DVD in the player and grabbed the remote. In the past, movie night would have Jane on the couch and Maura in the love seat but tonight, Maura retreated to the couch and snuggled up into Jane. Jane welcomed her with open arms.

"So, what's the movie?"

"Patience Jane," Maura said and kissed her gently on the cheek. She then hit play on the remote and let the movie start.

As soon as the picture started, Jane smiled. "Really?!"

"Really."

"But you hate this movie."

"True, but I love you," and she snuggled in closer. Jane was worth Maura struggling through 'Airplane' again.

Jane leaned forward and kissed Maura. The kiss was strong and passionate. It was their first kiss being completely alone. That seemed to add to the passion. Neither was tentative and it didn't appear that either was holding back. Maura's tongue ran across Jane's bottom lip and then quickly made its way into her mouth as soon as her lips parted. Both tongues danced to what now seemed like a choreographed routine.

Jane slowly ran her arm down Maura's side until she could position it on Maura's hip. Once positioned, Jane made one fluid movement to hoist Maura both up and under her and Maura found herself horizontal on the couch with Jane leaning in on top. The repositioning had happened so quickly Maura didn't catch the new position until Jane was suddenly hovering over her. She was going to have to remember a move like that.

They broke for air a few times but their lips immediately reconnected and the deep, passionate kisses were getting both ladies' breathing to quicken. Maura broke off the kiss only to commence kissing Jane down her neck while Jane started to let her hands explore the finely toned body of the lady beneath her. Maura worked her way back up to Jane's lips and the deep kissing resumed.

Jane let her hand drift off Maura and fumble around for the remote. Finding it, she turned off the TV. Maura stopped a kiss when she heard the background noise stop. She looked up at Jane. Both women were a little breathless.

"Bed?" Maura asked and by the look in her eyes she didn't mean for sleep.

"Maura, I…shouldn't we at least go on a date first?" Jane asked a little nervous about the prospect of doing what she wanted to do.

To that, Maura stood up and took Jane's hand and pulled her up off the couch. "Jane, we've had more dates in the last five years than most married couples have ever had. The time for dating is over."

**A/N There is one more chapter for this story which I will post tomorrow. After that, I will start the sequel next week. Be on the lookout for "Discovery" starting just after the Labor Day holiday. In the meantime, hope you enjoyed this chapter and will enjoy the last one. I've had the best time writing this**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"Jane?" Maura asked as they were driving on their way to Maura's house.

"Yes?"

"Will you tell your mother about us tonight?"

Jane didn't answer right away. It wasn't that she didn't want Angela to know about them, how they had figured it out, how happy they were and would be for the future. She was not afraid of her family knowing about the two of them. Rather, it was that part of her wanted to enjoy this happiness she had found with Maura without disruption. Not forever but for a little while. Jane had a fear that Angela would overwhelm them the minute she was told. Jane wanted time to experience all of what being with Maura would bring to her life without anything or anyone getting in the way.

"Jane?" Maura said snapping Jane out of her train of thought. "Are you going to tell Angela tonight?"

"I…" she tried to find a way to explain her hesitation to Maura. She was feeling incredibly selfish for not wanting to share this part of Maura with anyone yet. "Would you be upset with me if I wanted to wait?"

Maura was a bit surprised at the question but answered, "I'll support whatever you want to do and I won't be upset with you. She's your mother Jane. We'll handle her any way you want."

Jane loved the fact that they were in fact a 'we' now. But she was also concerned that not telling her mother right away would disappoint Maura. She didn't want to disappoint her not this soon anyway. She wanted Maura to understand. "Maura, I don't want you to be disappointed in me."

"What is going on in that head of yours?" she asked with concern resonating in her tone and she placed her hand on Jane's shoulder.

"Too much," Jane admitted.

"Tell me."

Jane sighed and realized she wanted to look at Maura as she tried to explain herself. She pulled the car over to the side of the road and placed it in park. She then turned towards Maura so she could look into the eyes of the woman she was sure she loved.

"I don't want to share you, us, with anyone yet. It's completely selfish I know and I feel bad about even thinking that, but I do. I mean, Maura, last night was the happiest night of my life." She felt a catch in her throat when she saw Maura's look go from concern to happiness. She continued. "If we walk into your house and announce to my mother that we are together I will have had less than 24 hours to savor every moment of last night. Every touch, every kiss, every moan, all of it. I just don't want to share us yet."

Maura took both Jane's hands in hers. "Last night was wonderful for me too, Jane. Every minute of last night was better than the one before it. Waking up in your arms this morning was the single best moment of my life. So I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to share that with anyone yet. I do understand and I could never be disappointed in you for wanting to protect a piece of us that was so perfect. We can tell your family when you are ready."

"I just don't want you to think it's because I don't want them to know about us. I do. I want them all to know just how happy you make me. But, Maura, my family is loud and overwhelming. They will completely take over us as soon as they learn we are an us. Especially my mother. She won't go more than two minutes before we are listening to her about weddings and grand children. They mean well, they do. I love them for it. But they can't help themselves. And I want you all to myself at least for a little while. Does that make me an awful person?"

Maura leaned into Jane and kissed her. Confident and strong, the kiss lingered for a few minutes. "I couldn't possibly love an awful person. And I love you. So you have your answer. Now, let's go have dinner with your family."

Jane kissed Maura one more time and put the car in drive. She felt truly blessed that where they were going they were going together.

**A/N Short but sweet (I hope) ending for this story. I never expected the response to this story that I received. Thank you all for the responses, feedback, patience, follows, favoriting and your general consideration. I will continue the saga I've started here in a sequel. Be on the lookout for "Discovery" sometime next week. I have a few real-life obligations to attend to but will be back in updating (probably daily still as you have no idea the amount of airplane and airport time I have in my life) fashion next week. Had I known the response I was going to get for this story I would have written and posted sooner. Thank you all!**


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